“Surely there must be some mistake. It can’t have happened? England won a cricket match? Call in the ICC immediately, we must have an investigation,” Rob Butler, a match official at the Lords cricket ground announced after the game ended.
Alarm bells immediately went off when England beat Pakistan by an innings and 225 runs to take the series 3-1 in a spectacular fourth and final Test rout.
There were no surprises however when the investigation into the spectacular win was concluded yesterday; it was revealed that the whole Pakistan team was on the payroll of Asian betting gangsters and lost the games on purpose.
The search is on for the England players to play a team that they can actually win against without a betting syndicate controlling the outcome.
“We’re looking for some honest teams to play the England team. I presume when that happens England will start its permanent losing streak again,” an ICC spokesman told the Daily Mail.