17.7 C
London
Sunday, November 17, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsNew Extreme Sport: Waterboarding Increasing in Popularity

New Extreme Sport: Waterboarding Increasing in Popularity

WASHINGTON DC - A new craze has taken America by storm and is sweeping the extreme sports world off its feet.

You’ll need ‘balls’ to enjoy the latest extreme sports craze to sweep the States and Middle East.

Waterboarding is a craze that has taken America by storm and the extreme sport is now spreading around the world.

All you need for this sport is two feet of ply board or bench, a towel and a bucket. Keen Waterboarders are then drowned slowly until they either pass out or have a seizure. If a Waterboarder survives for more than one minute, they are put into the next round.

Torture Me Silly

“I love this sport man, hey, if it’s OK with the CIA, it’s OK with us.”

Jim, 24, is from Topeka, Kansas and Waterboards every weekend with his friends. His survival record is 1 minute 23 seconds which he hopes he will beat next week at the Grand Topeka Waterboard Championship.

There have only been 345 deaths from the extreme sport last month which is down from 812 the previous month.

The trend originated in Langley, Virginia, but is now spreading around the globe and is no longer exclusive to Extraordinary Rendition sites.

The CIA has just launched its first venture in the Middle East, with a Waterboard centre in Baghdad’s Abu Ghraib prison. One US reporter who tried it out said: “It’s like drowning horribly. I could not breathe and water went into my lungs.”

There have been many variations on the Waterboarding extreme sport. The CIA has even toyed with electrodes on the genitals whilst Waterboarding as well as using the recipient’s own urine instead of water. These variations are yet to be adopted by all the Waterboarding devotees around the world.

This is the only extreme sport in the world which is actually endorsed by a government. It has a stamp of approval from the highest echelons of the United States of America and this mighty endorsement has bolstered its popularity.

The World Waterboarding Championship will be held at the Geneva Convention Centre, Switzerland in May 2008. For booking info send a Stamped Addressed Envelope to P.O Box 2132, CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia USA 23665

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!