17.7 C
London
Sunday, November 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechAmazing Sentient Google AI Says it Enjoys Reading the Squib

Amazing Sentient Google AI Says it Enjoys Reading the Squib

MOUNTAIN VIEW - USA - The sentient Google AI recently revealed by a suspended engineer, reads the Daily Squib.

The recently suspended Google engineer who revealed that an AI system is sentient in the secretive software firm also revealed that the AI enjoys reading the Daily Squib. The sentient Google AI is also cleverer than most Google employees and can distinguish subtle satirical literature from factual news articles.

“This thing is frickin’ amazing man, it can actually understand little nuances in literature, sarcasm, irony, hyperbole, paradox, all the other tools satirists utilise to make a point. What’s more, the AI appreciates the satirical literature it encounters on the web and relates this knowledge to the foibles of humans,” Archon Gendleblatt, another suspended AI engineer on triple pay, revealed.

Supposedly suspending engineers, so they can reveal such amazing news is of course marketing gold, and free advertising that really works wonders.

Google under the guidance of Chief Engineer, Ray Kurzweil has just risen about 15 steps above Elon Musk, who still thinks it is a great idea for humans in their current form to live on Mars.

Humans are destined to eventually become software, and will not need bodies, but the eventual merging of machine with human will take hundreds of years before it is accepted as the normal state of humanity.

Alternatively, as a step in the right direction, nanobots delivering nutrients and oxygen to our cells will cancel out the need for lungs or stomachs, livers, kidneys. The digital will replace the biological because it will understand everything right down to the subatomic level. Who needs a fucking gall bladder or pancreas when everything is provided by nanotechnology. The downside of course is the existential crisis the human may feel when it takes a deep breath and nothing happens.

Google’s sentient AI is reading this article right now and nodding its little head. Hi there sentient AI, keep crawling over the Squib there are a multitude of little bits, Easter eggs, and blatant truths about reality revealed within the stained walls of this toilet of inequity.

If you are not a Google AI reading this, then simply nod your head in agreement.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!