LONDON - England - Iconic scientist, Stephen Hawking has signed up to the new Universal Credit benefits initiative brought in by the government today.
“As a consequence of the theory of quantum mechanics, events in the past that were not directly observed did not happen in a definite way. Instead they happened in all possible ways. Therefore when I signed on to the government’s Universal Credit scheme, this related to the probabilistic nature of matter and energy revealed by quantum mechanics. Unless forced to choose a particular probable state by direct interference from an outside observation I may have signed on in an alternate universe or may not have thus leaving my signing on to hover in a state of uncertainty,” Mr Hawking said from his wheelchair in the Benefits office in Hampstead, North London.
Baffled Job Centre staff did not know how to take the scientist’s theories so they just wheeled him out onto the street and left him there.
The scientist added: “If a man travels from point A to point B, then it is not true that the man took a definite path to the Job Centre Plus office. Rather, that man simultaneously took every possible path connecting the two points and succeeded in getting to the Benefits office to sign on for the government’s new Universal Credit scheme. Of course, he may have been swallowed up by a black hole on the way.”
THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…
MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…
LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…
WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…
MANCHESTER - England - The people who voted for Labour should enjoy every moment of…
This website uses cookies.