New Saudi Arabian App Tells You When and Where the Nearest Beheading is

JEDDAH - Saudi Arabia - An enterprising young Saudi man has come up with the latest smartphone app that is taking the Saudi Kingdom by storm.

You'll never miss a beheading again..

The app is available on iPhone and Android smartphones and is a useful tool to help Saudis get to their nearest execution site on time. It comes with a handy map and even tells you the countdown to the nearest beheading so you don’t miss the action.

“I was driving through traffic one day and I heard on the radio that I had just missed a beheading downtown. I was furious, because if I had known at what time and the exact location of it I would not have missed the Medieval practice so that’s how I came up with the idea for the app,” Ahmed Salah, the creator of the app told local news stations.

The Saudi Beheading app has already received a massive following with over 2 million downloads just in one week.

“Now if I’m out shopping, all I have to listen out for is the sound of sharpening knives, which is the signal that there is a beheading soon to happen close by. I haven’t missed one since I downloaded this app, Allah be praised,” Mahmoud Jabar, a member of the Saudi Royal family told local news reporters from his Lamborghini before speeding off to catch the next execution.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"