Scientists 'Hacking' into Brain of Britney Spears

LOS ANGELES - USA - Spears, 30, has been working with scientists at Stanford University who are developing a brain scanner - a tool which picks up brain waves and communicates them via a computer.

“We are searching for brain activity. It is quite hard to do with this subject. Britney’s eyes keep rolling back and she has a wild look in her eye. Scared the shit out of me yesterday,” professor Ernest B. Saunders, at Stanford revealed.

The pop singer, who has an IQ of 47, currently uses hand gestures and grunts to communicate.

“We’d like to find a way to bypass her body, pretty much hack her brain,” said Prof Saunders.

Researchers will unveil their latest results at a conference in Cambridge next month, and may demonstrate the technology on Spears or even British glamour model, Katie Price.

“We could have the dumbfuck Spears on one side and that bloated fake football titted orange moron Price on the other side of the room. We can link their brainwaves together and see if they can communicate with each other. I propose on leaving them in a room like that for the next thirty years,” Professor Saunders told New Scientist magazine.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"