Dutch Scientists Create Artificial Meat But Fast Food Joints Say They Created it First

MAASTRICHT - Netherlands - Dutch scientists claim to have grown artificial meat in a test tube for the very first time, but fast food restaurants say they have been doing it for years.

Dutch scientists who claim they have grown the world’s first sample of artificial meat in a test tube have become a laughing stock amongst the fast food industry.

“We’ve been presenting artificial meat to the public for donkeys years, eh, donkeys ears and bollocks too. You know that rubbery stuff you schlep up and it just disintegrates in your mouth, it’s as artificial as you can get it. Try and leave one of our burgers on a window sill for two years? It will be good as f*cking new, just stick it in a microwave for a few seconds and chow down. If that ain’t artificial I don’t know what is?” marketing manager for McGristle burgers, told CBS.

There is of course one certainty and that is both the scientist created lab meat and fast food burger meat all taste and look like utter shit. Bon Appétit.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

5 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

12 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.