17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechBigfoot Only Has One Foot Witness Claims

Bigfoot Only Has One Foot Witness Claims

BLUFFS CREEK - USA - Ecologist and witness to Bigfoot, Robert Ortega, claims that he witnessed Bigfoot hopping through some undergrowth while he was conducting research for another project.

Mr Ortega was conducting research into Northern Californian fauna when suddenly out of a bush a large ape-like cryptid started hopping through the undergrowth.

“I saw Bigfoot. He’s called Bigfoot exactly for that reason, he’s got just one big foot and he was hopping around with it. I estimate it was as thick as a medium sized spruce tree. You should have seen the speed this thing managed on one leg, it was hopping around like a mad jack rabbit, and at over eight feet high, it was one heck of a sight,” Mr Ortega disclosed.

According to Bigfoot analysts, the Bigfoot has one big right foot, and from the footprints he left at the scene, they have estimated his height to be over eight feet high.

“Now I know why he is called Bigfoot. Because he only has one foot. His single foot is extremely strong because of the weight he puts on the single leg. Maybe he needs crutches because we estimate that Bigfoot may suffer from severe arthritis in his old age if he goes on like that. Each leap was an estimated four feet in length so he’s definitely a good hopper,” Billy Johnson, head of the Northern Californian Bigfoot Sasquatch Foundation told CBS news.

Mr Ortega assumes that Bigfoot was either born with one big foot or he could have lost his other big foot in a horrible accident. There are plans to now leave a pair of crutches in the wilderness to see if Bigfoot uses them.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

4 COMMENTS

  1. In the 60s they saw him with two big feet. My guess is that he lost the other one in a trap or had a terrible accident poor thing. In those forests you get illegal traps put by poachers poor Bigffot could have been hurt. No wonder that monster is afraid of humans look what they did to him!!!?!

  2. Well you know what they say about guys with big feet – I wonder if the term "Bigfoot" is a reference to something else? Any Lady Bigfeet out there I wonder? If there was, and they had a baby Bigfoot, it would be called Littlefeet.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!