Twitter Secret Police Could Soon Be Knocking at Your Door

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Social networking company Twitter has announced that it may snitch on you to the authorities if you live in oppressive regimes, a Twitter spokesman told Tech news site Wired.

Twitter once used to be the voice of freedom, promoting free speech in countries where there was very little.

Sadly, things have changed since Twitter’s phenomenal success, and they have announced that they will report and censor people who tweet against oppressive regimes to the relevant authorities.

“If you live in places like China, Tibet, Syria, Egypt, Burma or Iran, where torture and imprisonment for speaking out is rife, well you’re shit outta luck. We will happily shop you to the torturers of that regime so that we can increase our revenue within that domain. China is just an example of this, and even though it is a brutal, repressive regime that tortures and murders its citizens simply for speaking, we will not hesitate in reporting twitter users because it is such a huge market for us. You will probably get woken up one night with a truncheon over the head and a black sack being put over you before being thrown into the back of an unmarked van. Happy twittering folks, this is the meaning of social networking, where your every thought is indexed, analysed and then acted on. You just can’t stop doing it though, can you? Well, we have files on all of you now, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Joel Simons, chief operations director for Twitter said on Friday.

Social Surveillance

Within the last ten years, social networking sites have been presented to the public as a way to communicate with each other, but the truth is that these sites are utilised by intelligence agencies all over the world to collate valuable data about the populations and analyse human herd mentality on a scale never before seen.

“Social networking is a great way of gathering information about people that we never had access to before. We used to have to try very hard to get people to reveal some of this information about themselves in the past, but now that everyone is so addicted to social networking, there are not enough people to analyse this treasure trove of information. Remember also that once anyone does something on the internet it is a permanent imprint, it is never erased, therefore your every thought and every word is filed. In the future we will be able to plan your life for you, and predict what you are going to do next simply by looking at your profile. We are also able to utilise social networking as an excellent marketing tool for advertisers, who are sold your information from all of these sites. All in all, social networking is the greatest thing the internet has created for the intelligence communities across the world. Humans can be controlled very easily, and threats to the controllers can be perceived well before the fact, simply by analysing the feeds coming through,” an intelligence analyst for an unnamed agency within the US government disclosed.

Social networking sites like Facebook, give page access to certain government agencies at any point and willingly sell users’ data to advertising agencies and marketeers. This is just a part of the new goldfish system of containment that these companies have developed and will ensure that in the future, even in so-called ‘free societies’ in the West, there may be a point where you might be getting a knock on your door and not some poor Tibetan dissident cowering under their bed.

“The best policy is not to use social networking sites. There is a way out of this. You don’t have to be tricked into this horrific entrapment of humanity. Go speak to people face to face, write private letters, meet people in real life. We need to go back to humanity and not forward like lemmings into surveillance death — as are half the dumbed-down populations,” Gerald Humbold, professor of philosophy at Warwick University, told the Telegraph.

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