17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechLucas and Spielberg Building Spaceship to be Launched

Lucas and Spielberg Building Spaceship to be Launched

LOS ANGELES - USA - The two prominent film producers, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, have both joined forces to create a space rocket that will propel them and their families to a safe planet in the Andromeda galaxy, a studio spokesman revealed on Friday.

Contrary to rumours circulating around the internet, this is not a hoax.

NASA confirmed on Friday that the two Hollywood producers, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, are close to completing the rocket ship that will propel them to a safe habitable planet prior to the upcoming apocalypse in 2012.

“They’re not taking chances here. They know for sure what the Mayans wrote about, and they got a bucket load of money and told us to build ’em a space ship. They’re also going to take a few rolls of film so they can still make movies from the new planet. If the earth is still there after the apocalypse, they plan to transmit the movies from their new planet so the few surviving people on earth can at least have some good entertainment. But we told ’em that there might not be electricity on earth after the apocalypse. They still want to make movies though, they’re so dedicated to their art,” the NASA spokesman, Ian Merrick, told CNN.

The Star Wars Voyager space rocket will take about 45 years to reach the new planet’s orbit. There will be no end of entertainment on board with spacious compartments where films will be shown, a games room with pool tables and retro arcade games will also grace the craft.

“We’re even going to have a swimming pool installed so that the producers and their families can enjoy themselves whilst hurtling towards the KV673 system,” an engineer working on the project divulged.

No one has explained, however, how the swimming pool will function in zero gravity conditions on board the luxury space rocket.

The space ship will also carry about 350 tonnes of gold bullion, only a fifth of what the two producers are worth.

“We’re taking some pocket change in case we have to barter with aliens or whatever is out there. I feel kind of short changed though because I’m leaving the majority of my fortune behind on the doomed earth, but when it’s your life or riches, I choose life,” Mr Spielberg joked at a recent screening session in Studio City.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

5 COMMENTS

  1. Maybe they have a special bed which they use to keep them in stasis, atleast this way when they's in the ship for 45 years they won't age so much?

  2. The Andromeda system is huge do they really know what they are doing? They think we're doomed on earth? Wait till they run out of air in that tin capsule of death!! LOL

  3. Hey I wish I had that sort of money…….

    It's all right for some huh?

    Makes me sick to the core…….their leaving us to die while they go off like that!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. I read this and I thought no way! How are they going to have a swimming pool in space? They're mad unless they somehow create gravity up there it just wouldn't work. I would love to see the science behind this. Also, can NASA be contracted out like this?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!