17.7 C
London
Saturday, November 2, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechSex Robot Prefers Washing Machine Over Human

Sex Robot Prefers Washing Machine Over Human

SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Niles Baccarat, 45, purchased the sex robot from a premier robot dealer two months ago, but has had nothing but problems.

 

“These robots are meant to adore you and only you. That’s what the salesman told me. I brought her home that night and was immediately disappointed by its behaviour. Carla took one look at me, then told me I was a fat, balding, stinky human with the intelligence level of a cow, she then walked over to the washing machine and started stroking it seductively,” Baccarat recalled.

Luckily, we have consumer rights so Mr. Baccarat called the store from which he purchased the robot.

“They didn’t want to know. They just said the AI was working fine after a diagnostic, and that robots have their own rights too. They should be allowed to choose who they get turned on by as much as humans have a choice. This is when I took the case to the courts.”

The Courts of Justice, recently filed a new law giving sex robots, and any other robot working in human households as many rights as humans. In fact, there are laws being introduced by next year, 2045, that sentient AI robots will be allowed to vote in elections, and even start their own businesses.

Things are therefore not looking up for Mr Baccarat, who has now filed for his sex robot to be scrapped, but the request was emphatically denied.

Developing story

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!