The Rooneyid,
the evolutionary branch of primates that led to humans, will be revealed
when a two million-year-old skeleton of a man is unveiled this week.
The skeleton was discovered in the Liverpool region of England – an area known as ‘the Cradle of Inhumanity’ – by Professor Lee Phuckah of the University of the Croxteth.
Professor Phuckah and
his colleagues have remained silent about the significance of their
find, but anticipation is high among the scientific community ahead of
an official announcement on Friday.
“This ape like creature was probably as thick as shit but was still able to kick a rock around its cave. It communicated by grunting and walked around dragging its knuckles on the ground wherever it went,” the professor said.
Let’s hope it’s not covered in tattoos – like the Beckhamid.