Apple Computers Creates Apple

CUPERTINO - USA - Apple Computers Inc. has created an Apple product that has astounded techies across the world -- an apple.

Standing in for Apple’s pioneer and spiritual leader, Steve Jobs, was Joseph McCormack who is now in charge of operations at the Cupertino Apple headquarters.

“It’s edible”

“Our new Apple product is an exact replica of an apple. We have designed the future of electronic devices with an organic computer/phone/i-pod/printer and even lunch. This device will revolutionise lunchboxes everywhere,” McCormack told the audience at the new product launch.

Holding up a red apple which he took out of his pocket he sniffed it then pressed the top to reveal a miniature keyboard. He then did something that made everyone’s jaws drop. He took a bite out of it.

Apple over the years has never ceased to astound and innovate, but edible electronic devices really takes the biscuit.

“Say you’re in a plane crash or stranded on a boat somewhere. Well, with our new product, you can shoot off an email or call to a rescue team and while you’re waiting for them to come, you can eat your Apple device. It’s perfectly safe and our team of Apple genius’ have engineered an Apple computer that actually tastes and smells like a real apple,” McCormack boasted proudly.

A member of the assembled press then asked if they could make bananas and guavas.

“No we’re Apple. We only deal in apples.”

The new Apple devices are already under production and should appear in a few months. The company has to first get the Apple orchard up to speed with the new season for fruiting not yet here, there may be a while to wait. Once the new Apple devices are ripe they are then handpicked by a team of specialist fruit-pickers from Mexico.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: techus

Recent Posts

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

2 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

12 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

22 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

24 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.