Madonna True Age Revealed

LONDON- England - A group of archaeologists and scientists have discovered the true age of Madonna using ground-breaking carbon dating techniques.

A group of eminent archaeologists have successfully carbon dated a portion of the celebrity Madonna. They were able to isolate the correct percentage of carbon 14 from a sample they had been given by an anonymous agent.

The amazing discovery has astounded the archaeologists who have declared Madonna a living fossil and treasure to science.

Speaking from The Institute of Field Archaeologists (IFA) Stephen Dawson said, “Today’s findings are truly remarkable, not since the discovery of artefacts last year in Leeds from the early Bronze age have we found such unique data. This surpasses everything that has passed before because the subject seems to be actually living.”

Exclusively only on The Squib, we can reveal here for the first time that Madonna has been found to be over 1200 years old and was born around 800 AD.

The carbon footprint has led the archaeologists to the then Principality of Benevento which is now called Italy and at the time was part of the ailing Roman Empire.

Conservation experts from the Institute will work on the fragile find and try to preserve the specimen for future generations.

The archaeologists, however, cannot tell us how Madonna has lived for so long and even though this is a total mystery maybe with more research and further tests they can ascertain the mechanics of this anomaly.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Easy Payday: Tyson Needed the $20 Million Retirement Money

TEXAS - USA - The manufactured Mike Tyson fight against a YouTuber was a retirement…

13 hours ago

Biden Admits to Reporter He Voted For Trump

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Joe Biden has admitted to a reporter that he voted…

14 hours ago

“People’s Soviet Republic of Britain” Detains Journalist Attempting Crime of “Free Speech”

LONDON - England - We can proudly announce that an attempt at "free speech" was…

2 days ago

Commissar Rachel Reeves Praises Her Role in Ruining UK Economy

SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves of the People's Soviet Labour Party of Britain…

2 days ago

Beyond Satire: The Onion Buys Infowars

TEXAS - USA - According to reports, corporate entity, The Onion, has acquired the Infowars…

3 days ago

Crazy Woke Leftists Told to “Identify” As if Kamala Won Election

PORTLAND - USA - A renowned therapist is helping many crazy, woke leftists by telling…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.