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Pensioner: “I am glad Two-tier Kier has given 15% pay rises to train drivers”

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Labour unions pushing for massive pay rises for train drivers and staff as well as GPs have enjoyed a bumper time by being awarded grotesquely high pay rises for already high salaries by Two-tier Kier Starmer. Pensioners meanwhile have been robbed of their winter fuel payments and their pensions are now taxed.

Alfie Fowkes, 84, from Grimsbury, Lancashire, praised the PM on his Labour policies.

“I rent a council flat sublet from an Eastern European couple who sublets 23 council flats, and they live in a luxury villa in Romania built from the proceeds. I rarely see them, but when they sometimes turn up in their top of the range S-class Mercedes, they make me pay the rent in cash and threaten me with kneecapping if I don’t pay on time. Sometimes they send one of their boys around with a bat. I tried moving but cannot afford it. It’s thanks to Labour’s immigration policies that these people were able to come to the UK to exploit our hospitality and benefits system.

“The winter fuel payments really did help me in the cold months, and it meant I could just about afford to eat some food. I could put the heat on for 15 minutes and enjoy the warmth for those few minutes. For food, I now mainly buy canned food, although this has shot up in price as well. On most days, I survive on a piece of dry toast and a cup of tea.

“When Labour’s Rachel Reeves took away my winter fuel payments and taxed my pension, I just thought to myself, I worked my entire life and served my country in the armed forces to be treated like a fifth class citizen. I am now seriously considering borrowing my next door neighbour’s computer to go on Twitter to say something on mass immigration that will get me arrested by the Thoughtpolice of Two-tier Kier. At least in prison, they keep the heat on 24-7 and prisoners get three solid meals a day.”

In preparation for winter, lifetime Labour voter Mr. Fowkes was indeed arrested by the Two-tier Kier Thoughtpolice on Tuesday after voicing his opinion about illegal and legal mass migration on social media. He will be able to survive for a little more time, thankfully, after being sentenced to a six-year stretch at Belmarsh prison. He has been labelled by the left-wing media and Labour Party as a ‘far-right racist bigot’.

Wow! The Zuck Admits What We Always Knew

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Apparently, The Zuck (Zuckerberg) has admitted that he was under the wing of the Biden administration and helped skew the elections in 2020, as well as censor many things including during the covid virus.

The Zuck also made it clear that he would not make another contribution to support electoral infrastructure (skewing elections) via the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative.

Past donations totalled more than $400 million and were made to Democrat non-profit groups that helped skew the elections in favour of the Democrats in 2020 helping Joe Biden steal the election from Donald Trump.

In other news, bears apparently take big steaming shits in the woods and the Pope is rather partial to Catholicism.

Violent Prisoner Asked to Leave Prison Before Finishing PS5 Game

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Prisons are so full that the Government is releasing thousands of criminals early and have already let off 147,000 people accused of offences including violent rape, paedophilia, armed robbery, attempted murder, murder, violence, drug offences and weapons possession. The community resolutions scheme is letting off thousands of violent and deadly criminals into Britain’s already overcrowded, crime-ridden streets. The emptying of prisons by Labour is so bad, one violent prisoner was turfed out of his cushy cell before he could finish his PS5 game.

Crime Pays

“I was playing The Last of Us II and the warden pops his fucking head round the door. He simply said that they’re clearing out from orders from upon high. I should get my kit, my drugs, my George Foreman grill, espresso machine, PS5, and virtual reality set and sling my hook. I was going to be released in 45 minutes.

“I was not happy mate, I was in the middle of the Hillcrest chapter about to take down some WLF soldiers. I got this far, and they tell me to leave? I also had a pedicure booked for 4:30, and I had a one-hour slot booked with that hot Julie, the new guard, she always drains my balls till they’re like raisins. I think I’ll celebrate being thrown out of prison by beating the living shit out of some random stranger when I get out, then frogmarching them to the cashpoint.”

Looks like the former prisoner will have to finish his game on the outside, but not before he continues committing another violent robbery or a hundred.

Comrade Starmer: “Things Will Get Worse Then Worsen Even More”

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Supreme Comrade Starmer of the Labour EU Soviet Communist Party today revealed to the workers and proletariat that “things will get worse then worsen to even worse times than the worst you have ever experienced in your pitiful lives” and he went on to thank the proles for voting him in.

“Thank you, during the election, only 80% of the country did not vote for me, and this gave us a huge mandate to rule over you.

“Due to our allegiance to our Marxist brothers at the unions, we have now dug a fresh £20 billion black hole in the finances. Please do not worry yourselves, you will have to pay more tax than you have ever conceived in your pitiful lives. This is Soviet Labour’s gift to you.

“Comrades, commissars, workers, union members, you must now work 364 days in the year before you have paid all your taxes. As a gift to you, we have left one single day of the year when you will not pay taxes. It was out of my gracious soviet goodness that I gifted you that single day of being tax-free, so spend that day wisely.

“We have many wonderful surprises set up for you, and you will obey my orders without question or thought. When we come to take your property, your earned wealth, your assets, your cars, your homes, you will hand them over to the state gladly. These are mere burdens that you shall be glad to be freed from. Please do not worry, we will move you all into soviet housing projects which we will build all over the countryside once we bulldoze over everything and cut all the trees down and concrete over everything.

“Comrades, I have outlined what your future under the soviet stasi Labour state will be like and if you do not like it, we have a solution for that as well. If you voice your disapproval in any way on social media or elsewhere, we will have you arrested by the Thoughtcrime Police and imprisoned for an indefinite amount of time. There will be no such thing as ‘free speech’ under Labour because it results in dangerous talk and the opinions of people. Dear comrades, we do not want to hear your opinions about anything, especially how you are being oppressed by the big Labour boot of tyranny and despotism. On this note, I bid you fuck off until next time. Remember, things will get worse than you have had nightmares about.”

The Daily Squib publication only has the highest praise for Stasi Britain and its Stasi Thoughtcrime Police. Hail the Labour Party and its Supreme Comrade Starmer.

How to Turn Your Crypto Wallet Into a Slot Machine Jackpot

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With the rapid rise of cryptocurrencies, many people are looking for new and exciting ways to use their digital assets. One such way is through online crypto casinos, which have become increasingly popular among gamblers. If you’ve ever wondered how to turn your crypto wallet into a slot machine jackpot, you’re in the right place. This guide will walk you through the process, from choosing the right crypto casino to maximizing your winnings with smart strategies.

Choosing the Right Crypto Casino

The first step to turning your crypto wallet into a slot machine jackpot is selecting the right online casino. Not all crypto casinos are created equal, so it’s important to find one that is reputable, secure, and offers a variety of games. Look for casinos that are licensed and regulated, ensuring they operate fairly and transparently.

One popular option among crypto enthusiasts is Bet Panda Casino. Known for its wide selection of slot games and generous promotions, the casino offers players a chance to maximize their winnings. One of the standout features is the Bet Panda casino cashback bonus, which provides a safety net by returning a percentage of your losses, giving you more opportunities to hit that jackpot. This type of bonus is perfect for those who want to take calculated risks without the fear of losing everything.

Understanding Slot Machine Mechanics

Once you’ve chosen the right crypto casino, it’s essential to understand how slot machines work. Slot machines are a game of chance, but knowing the mechanics can help you make more informed decisions. Most slot machines operate on a Random Number Generator (RNG) system, which ensures that each spin is completely random and independent of previous spins. This means that every spin has the same odds of winning, regardless of past results.

Slot machines come in various types, including classic slots, video slots, and progressive slots. Classic slots have simple gameplay with fewer paylines, making them easier to understand for beginners. Video slots offer more paylines, bonus features, and intricate graphics, providing a more immersive experience. Progressive slots are known for their massive jackpots, as a portion of each bet contributes to a growing prize pool that can be won by hitting a specific combination.

Strategies to Maximize Your Winnings

While slot machines are largely based on luck, there are strategies you can use to maximize your chances of winning. Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your crypto slot machine experience:

1. Set a Budget

Before you start spinning the reels, it’s crucial to set a budget. Determine how much you’re willing to spend and stick to that amount. This will help you avoid overspending and ensure that your gaming experience remains enjoyable. Remember, gambling should be fun, and setting a budget helps you maintain control over your finances.

2. Take Advantage of Bonuses

Crypto casinos often offer a variety of bonuses and promotions to attract new players and keep existing ones engaged. These bonuses can significantly boost your bankroll and give you more chances to win. Look for welcome bonuses, free spins, and cashback offers to enhance your gaming experience. Be sure to read the terms and conditions of each bonus to understand the wagering requirements and any restrictions that may apply.

3. Choose Games with High RTP

Return to Player (RTP) is a term used to describe the percentage of all wagered money that a slot machine will pay back to players over time. Games with higher RTP percentages offer better odds of winning. Look for slots with an RTP of 95% or higher to increase your chances of hitting a jackpot. Keep in mind that RTP is calculated over the long term, so it doesn’t guarantee immediate wins, but it does give you a better shot in the long run.

Turning your crypto wallet into a slot machine jackpot is an exciting possibility, thanks to the growing popularity of online crypto casinos. By choosing a reputable casino, understanding slot machine mechanics, and using smart strategies, you can maximize your chances of winning big. Remember to gamble responsibly, set a budget, and take advantage of bonuses to make the most of your gaming experience. With the right approach, your crypto wallet could be your ticket to a slot machine jackpot!

Hamas Could Change Their Name to ‘Hummus’

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A spokesman for terrorist group Hamas today announced that it was considering changing its name to hummus (the Arabic chickpea dip).

The reasoning for the sudden name change was explained by Hamas spokesman Abdul El Madhoun at an impromptu press conference in Tehran, Iran today.

“As a terrorist group, we are constantly changing and adapting to what is going on. We have now however decided to change our terror organisation’s name from Hamas to Hummus, after the delicious chickpea dip so prevalent in this region. You may ask why we are making this drastic change?

“Well, to put it simply, we want to use the word hummus because that is generally the consistency of one of our terrorist members after they are hit by an Israeli drone or missile. It’s kind of mushy and bubbly with little bits in it, but unfortunately not as delicious as hummus.”

So many Hamas members including high ranking seasoned terrorists have met their end via the route of missiles from above that it indeed seems very apt that they are renamed as hummus.

Hummus recipe

This vegan hummus is made with just five ingredients and ready in 10 minutes. You can pair it with crunchy veggies or warm pitta breads.

Ingredients

1 can chickpeas, drained
60ml cold water, plus a 30ml for a looser consistency
1 small garlic clove, peeled and crushed
1 lemon, juiced then ½ zested
3 tbsp tahini
1 tbsp olive oil, to garnish (optional)
mixed crudités and toasted pitta bread, to serve (optional)

Method

STEP 1

Under cold running water, thoroughly rinse the chickpeas in a colander. Tip into the large bowl of a food processor along with 60ml of water and blitz until almost smooth. Add the garlic, lemon and tahini, and blitz again. If the consistency is too thick, gradually pour in up to 30ml more water. Blitz again for about 5 mins, or until the hummus is smooth and silky.

STEP 2

Season with a healthy pinch of sea salt and transfer to a bowl. Stir the top of the hummus with the back of a dessert spoon and drizzle over a little olive oil. Serve the delicious dish with crunchy crudités and toasted pitta bread, if you like.

Two-tier Policing: Nightmare of the Notting Hill Carnival

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We asked a Notting Hill resident what they thought about the yearly carnival. What the individual said was quite a shocker: “There’s a reason why residents and businesses here board up, and fortify their properties every year at about this time — the nightmare of the Notting Hill Carnival. With multiple stabbings, heavy drug use and dealing, surprise machete attacks, as well as the lurid vulgar loud anthropomorphic so-called music and shouting blaring out at insanely high distorted decibel levels, drugs, wild gangs, the animalistic beastly twerking and blatant public sex acts make this a carnival celebrating a culture that is something that should not be celebrated. The smell of it all is even more obnoxious, imagine serious levels of BO, butt sweat, bodily fluids mixed in with ganja and deep-fried greasy food. All of this horrid, turgid grotesqueness continues whilst the police calmly stand by watching from afar. This is a prime example of two-tiered policing because none of this would be allowed to happen if this horrific event was performed by another group of people exhibiting the same animalistic savage acts of violence, but because of the police imprisoned by woke chains and fearing they will be called the “r” name they calmly stand by as female police officers are subjected to sexual assaults masked as ‘cultural dancing’, blatant drug use and gangs walking around brandishing deadly weapons to use on some unsuspecting victim. We are prisoners in our homes here, and have to wear headphones or ear plugs to get by, or simply go away for a few days. There is nothing beautiful about the Notting Hill Carnival, it is not something that inspires joy or hope in a culture, but instead displays only ugliness and brute hellery. This is not a culture to be celebrated it is against all tenets of civility and decency, a vulgar display of barbarism and thuggery, yet here are the police merely standing by. Even an ex-police inspector has come forward to proclaim this atrocious ‘festival’ as a prime example of two-tiered policing. Naturally, if the criminal acts committed and celebrated at the Notting Hill Carnival were committed by any other group of people the prison sentences would be very harsh and there would be outrage by the media, but because it is this group of people, nothing happens. Cleaning up the blood stains, used condoms, used tampons, bloodied rags, buckets of semen, faeces, used nappies, urine, discarded weapons, dead bodies and tonnes of rubbish after the ‘carnival’ has ended is all part of the celebration of something that ultimately should have never been celebrated in the first place.”

UPDATE 31 AUGUST 2024

Two die after Notting Hill Carnival attacks

Two people who were attacked in separate incidents at the Notting Hill Carnival have died.

Scotland Yard said Cher Maximen, a mother who was stabbed in front of her three-year-old daughter, had died. The 32-year-old was stabbed in the groin after attempting to break up a fight at the west London event on Aug 25.

She was taken to hospital and went into a coma after one of her lungs collapsed, and she lost 20 units of blood. The Met said she died on Saturday morning.

Mussie Imnetu, a Swedish national who was found unconscious near the carnival on Monday evening, has also died from his injuries, the force said.

Mr Imnetu, 41, who worked under Michelin starred chefs including Gordon Ramsay, was found unconscious with a head injury.

Officers had provided emergency first aid until paramedics arrived and Mr Imnetu was taken to a west London hospital, where he died on Friday. He had been visiting the UK on business from Dubai, where he lived and worked.

 

World War Three Update: Global Tensions Escalate Further

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As the world teeters on the edge of unprecedented geopolitical conflict, signs of intensifying hostilities and global tensions escalate further. The situation is reminiscent of the period preceding the Second World War, with strategic alliances, economic struggles, and military incursions creating a volatile global landscape. The ongoing war in Ukraine, the strained US-China relations, and the precarious economic conditions in major economies are a serious warning for what is to come.

The annual Jackson Hole symposium, traditionally a forum for discussing economic policies, takes on a graver significance this year with the US Federal Reserve considering interest rate cuts. The implications extend beyond domestic economic health to the stability of the global financial system.

Recent data revealed that the US economy created 818,000 fewer jobs than previously reported, which highlights the fragility of the current economic recovery.

Fed Chair Jerome Powell’s upcoming speech is expected to offer insights into how the US plans to navigate these turbulent waters, with potential rate cuts being a double-edged sword that could either stabilise or further destabilise the global economy.

federal reserve destruction

Economists worldwide are closely watching for clues on the magnitude and speed of the expected rate cuts.

These monetary policy decisions are not just technical adjustments; they are part of a broader strategy to manage an economy that has been significantly weakened by the pandemic and subsequent inflationary pressures caused by overuse of quantitative easing.

There is also growing concern that the Fed’s actions might be too little, too late. As unemployment rises and the job market weakens, some analysts argue that the Fed’s hesitation has exacerbated the economic downturn.

Despite the worrying unemployment figures, some economic indicators suggest a more nuanced picture. The US economy, while showing signs of strain, has also demonstrated resilience.

Stock markets have rebounded, and the economy grew faster in the first half of this year than it did in previous decades. The Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta’s estimates that the economy is growing at a 2% annual rate in the current quarter, although slower, is still far from signalling a recession. This complex economic backdrop makes the Fed’s decisions all the more critical.

Amidst this economic uncertainty, the geopolitical situation is rapidly deteriorating.

Ukraine’s incursion into Russia’s Kursk region marks a significant escalation in the conflict that has already devastated the Balkan region.

The Ukrainian forces’ control over parts of Russia is being reframed by the Kremlin as a “new normal,” indicating a shift in Moscow’s strategy and possibly signalling a longer-term occupation. This incursion complicates the already tense situation, with Russia reportedly prioritising its offensive in Eastern Ukraine over reclaiming the lost territory in Kursk.

The Russian media’s muted response to the incursion and the Kremlin’s downplaying of the situation suggest an attempt to control the narrative, but the reality on the ground is stark.

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s strategy of holding Russian territory as a buffer zone is a bold move that could have significant repercussions. Many Russian analysts and commentators are now calling for tactical nuclear weapons to be utilised either on Kyiv or the broader European theatre of war.

The deployment of battle-hardened Ukrainian units into Russia, despite the strain on Ukraine’s manpower, underscores the seriousness of this new phase in the conflict.

As the conflict between Ukraine and Russia escalates, further uncertainty within the situation is created and impulsive actions by both sides could be costly.

China’s deepening ties with Russia, despite its attempts to maintain a neutral stance, are particularly worrying. Beijing’s increasing involvement in global conflicts, combined with its strategic partnerships with Moscow, could draw the US and its allies into a more direct, overt confrontation with China.

The US and China are also locked in a strategic competition in the Pacific, with both superpowers vying for influence in the region.

This incessant contest in the Pacific has significant implications for global stability, as both nations seek to secure key shipping lanes and resources. China’s aggressive push for new partnerships in the Pacific, alongside its efforts to isolate Taiwan diplomatically, further complicates the situation.

tehran iran missiles3

In the Middle East, the situation is equally volatile.

US efforts to broker a ceasefire have so far been unsuccessful, with both sides holding firm on their demands. Full-scale war involving Israel, Hezbollah, and Iran, looms large, threatening to destabilise the entire region. Iran has vowed to continue enriching uranium for the purpose of making nuclear weapons.

Meanwhile, China’s economy is facing significant challenges, with growth falling short of expectations in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Calls for fiscal stimulus are growing louder, but Beijing has been slow to respond, opting instead for modest monetary policy adjustments.

The real estate sector, a key driver of the Chinese economy, remains in a precarious state, with home sales plummeting despite government efforts to stimulate the market.

China’s economic struggles are putting a serious strain on the global economy, particularly if the world’s second-largest economy slips into recession.

The combination of economic instability, geopolitical tensions, and the risk of military conflict has created a perfect storm that could lead to a third world war.

As central bankers, military strategists, and world leaders gather in Jackson Hole and other global forums, the decisions made in the coming months will be critical in determining whether the world can avoid another devastating conflict.

The parallels with the prelude to World War II are unsettling.

Strategic alliances are being tested, economic pressures are mounting, and the world’s major powers are increasingly at odds with one another.

Henry Kissinger: “If You Can’t Hear the Drums of War You Must Be Deaf”

Henry Kissinger: “The Delightful Drums of War Beat Louder Every Day”

Three Years After US Exit Taliban Thank Biden For Billions of Dollars of Weapons

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Three years after the ill-fated and poorly planned exit from Afghanistan, the Taliban have been very gracious to Joe Biden, whose poor planning left the Taliban with over $$7.12 billion worth of high-end military equipment. Not only that, the Taliban released thousands of prisoners jailed by the Americans, including many prominent Al-Qaeda and ISIS-K operatives.

The Taliban have been celebrating the anniversary of the United States and Allies leaving Afghanistan, and abandoning their bases as well as billions of dollars of military equipment, some sold to terrorist groups and anyone who has the money.

Although many of the aircraft were supposedly purposely damaged on the way out, the Taliban, who are friends with China, invited them in to fix, retro-engineer and maintain the aircraft. The Chinese also took over Bagram Air Base ($68 million build) as well as other key US bases.  China is now also mining the massive lithium resources of the country and other resources worth trillions of dollars. No doubt some of the military hardware, including over 80 drones, and over 35 Blackhawk helicopters were useful to Chinese military scientists, although they probably know more about them anyway due to the ease of acquiring military secrets from the Americans and British.

Suffice to say, the disastrous exit from Afghanistan was one of the biggest shameful defeats orchestrated by Joe Biden, along with allowing Putin to invade Ukraine, and enabling Iran to continue enriching uranium to build nuclear weapons.

In the recent election debate Joe Biden claimed the Afghanistan exit went like clockwork and no US servicemen were killed or hurt during the evacuation. He forgot to mention the tragic deaths of 13 US servicemen and 170 Afghanis at the Abbey Gate bombing.

Episodes of Woke Star Wars Series The Acolyte Used For Interrogation

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Forget about waterboarding, or having your teeth pulled out without anaesthetic, the first and only season of woke Star Wars series The Acolyte could be utilised by multiple intelligence agencies who need to extract information from terrorists and foreign spies.

A spokesman for an intelligence agency situated in South East Asia, who did not wish to be named, disclosed that The Acolyte is so bad and cringeworthy to watch that some captured spies actually preferred to have their fingernails pulled out with pliers.

“Extracting information can be a tiresome but necessary affair, however with The Acolyte, it is easier than we thought. We simply put the person in front of a screen and have their eyes taped open so they cannot shut them. They have to watch the entire series of The Acolyte in one sitting, but many do not make it past the third episode.”

The Acolyte is a very effective method for making spies crack and spill the beans, and many other agencies are now looking to use this method for their interrogation processes.

“You want to see people practically crawling up the walls and pulling their hair out and begging to give you the information that you need? Use The Acolyte. It is the most effective method we have found yet, although some say it is too intensive a form of torture for information extraction. Some of the people we interrogate with this method are severely affected with PTSD, and some have even gone into a state of coma, or shaking uncontrollably after watching just one episode. We want to thank the woke pissants who created this $180 million monstrosity. The worst blood-curdling acting from the likes of woke diversity pick Amandla Stenberg, a racist piece of shit. Deluded morons Leslye Headland and Kathleen Turner. It’s a work of horrific, cringeworthy grotesque wokery that not only killed off Star Wars but kills actual brain cells in people who are forced to watch it.”

Thanks to The Acolyte interrogation rooms are now efficient information extraction zones where even the most hardened espionage participant cracks within minutes.

The Acolyte received an 18% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes despite paid industry reviewers giving it a 78% score. Even though the production cost $180 million (not including marketing budget of $56 million) it has only managed to recoup $24 million in costs so far.

There will not be a second series, and hopefully we will never see the cast members (apart from Carrie-Anne Moss) and producers ever again.