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Banzai! KamiKwazi Kwarteng’s Suicide Flight

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Not much can be said about KamiKwazi Kwarteng apart from his last flight missed the deck of the aircraft carrier, and he ditched into the ocean.

All could be heard before his plane was torn to pieces were his cries of “Banzai!”

“We gave him two choices, death by Harakiri (seppuku) or death by Kamikaze. Kwarteng chose the latter after disgracing himself with his economics,” a sullen Tory minister revealed.

It was dawn when KamiKwazi’s Zero lifted off from the airbase. He was given a final swig of sake, and told to go on his way.

“We had to let him go. He wasn’t even much of a good fall guy, was he? I mean, after creating absolute turmoil in the markets, it is all too evident who really rules this country, and it ain’t no bleeding Tory fucking government. It’s the bankers and money men, and the big whales like Soros. They rule the roost along with the Bank of England. Naturally, all of those entities hold allegiance to the EU. What Brexit? The EU still has Britain by the gangoolies,” another observer revealed.

You Cannot Stop the Eco Zealot Protests

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Any idiot who thinks they can stop the eco zealot Stop Oil protesters needs their head checked. None of you people in cars, trucks, ambulances, taxis, vans or buses can stop a movement that is not only protected by the police but sanctioned from way on high.

The consensus is that these Stop Oil protesters, or whatever name they are calling themselves this week, are fully endorsed, supported and funded by the liberal metropolitan Marxist elite who run everything from their hidden socialist champagne palaces.

The police are the servants of the elite, and take their orders very seriously because if they don’t, then they do not get their pay. This is why you will see policemen and women gently going up to protesters blocking a road, and politely asking them if they want a cup of tea whilst they have their scrotums and tits superglued to the asphalt.

Is there a solution to the constant disruptions by these protesters? Not really is the simple answer. Not in the legal way, of course. If the road users want to get on with their journeys, they could resort to violence, but this would be counteractive because the police who protect the protesters would then arrest you.

Something will have to give eventually. No doubt, some white van man will lose his cool and run one of these fuckers over.

Resistance is futile. You cannot stop the eco zealot lemmings even if you tried.

Alex Jones: The Billion Dollar Man

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Congratulations must be conveyed to shock jock conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who has acquired the rare accolade of being sued for one billion dollars.

“This is quite an achievement, especially as it will be nigh on impossible to ever pay back that kind of money. One billion dollars is a lot of fuckin’ dollars, man. You can’t even fit that shit into a room,” one flabbergasted American revealed.

This goes to show that messing with grieving families after their kids have been shot and killed in a school is not a fruitful endeavour. When it comes to sensitive incidents involving children especially, it is not clever to do what Alex Jones did. Clearly, one must have some sense of responsibility, and Jones set himself up for that one.

Whether the Sandy Hook folks will ever get their money is another matter. No doubt some creative accountancy from the Jones team will ensure that.

Give Liz a Chance!

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The attack dogs and Marxist vultures are out looking to chow down on Liz Truss’s corpse. The baying remoaners, SNP orcs and scheming Tory backbenchers eagerly sniff the air hoping to smell spilled blood. The fat fuck Bank of England governor farts into the markets, and the pound drops into another precipice, as he raises interest rates again and props up the pensions of millions of very scared Britons.

Out of all of this chaotic nonsense and hysteria, is there anyone who has any faith in the future anymore? How about giving Liz a chance? She only got the job a few weeks ago, and yet the insane maelstrom of agitated panic spreads fear amongst the pigeons.

Tories in open revolt against prime minister — says the latest headline? Pull yourselves together for gawd’s sake you bunch of yellow squirts of piss. This is no time for disunity when there is such a thing as a Labour Party soaring in the fucking polls. One thing this country certainly does not need ever again is a Labour win at an election. If that happens, we can all truly kiss everything goodbye.

What is the Next Big Step for Mobile Gaming Fans?

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Mobile gaming has already seen a massive transformation from simplistic games to powerful high-end graphics driving complex, immersive experiences. It is these transformations that have created such an enormous powerhouse of an industry. Mobile gaming incorporates a wide range of sectors, including games on offer at a casino online in the UK to, app-based games downloadable to handheld devices and many more. When it was first announced, industry experts thought that 5G would revolutionize mobile gameplay, but actually, while it has improved performance in many cases, it was not as revolutionary as first thought, and there are bigger and better things on the horizon for mobile gaming fans.

Virtual Reality/Augmented Reality

Although virtual reality has been a component of some online gaming for a while now, it is quite prohibitive. The headsets required are expensive and cumbersome, but this is set to change. New headsets are coming to market all the time, and this drives prices down, opening this sector to many more players. Software houses are also looking to use augmented reality, which is an excellent addition to mobile gaming but, when combined with virtual reality, looks set to dominate. Of course, Pokémon GO is the most famous game to utilize augmented reality and is still adored by fans across the world. Augmented reality uses the player’s real-life backdrop, be it a front room or out in the town, and drops gameplay into the screen using the virtual characters.

Wearable Gaming

Wearables up another big technology trend and are used for all sorts of things, from tracking steps to heart rate, receiving phone calls and text messages on the go and many other things. Although perhaps nowhere near as powerful as the smartphone, smartwatches are considered by many to be another trend just waiting to explode for mobile gaming. There is already limited gaming availability on some devices, but this is thought to be just the beginning. While it might seem unlikely due to the small and restrictive size of the screen, remember it was not that long ago that we could not conceive mobile gaming at all, and now it is a vast and profitable industry.

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Cloud Based Gaming

Cloud-based computing is already highly utilized in many sectors of business and personal life, and cloud gaming could well be another trend set to create a big step for the industry. Many popular games played online require powerful hardware with complex graphics cards, sound cards, processors and more. Cloud-based gaming would create a front-end console that should be no more than a phone, and all the processing power would be carried out on the server attached to the gaming companies, therefore not needed by the end user.

The future possibilities of online gaming are endless, as many of the current technologies would not even be conceivable ideas just a few short years before they became reality. It is hard to guess what will be invented next, but the sector is proving to be sustainable and showing constant growth.

5 Interesting Factors That Can Change Water Quality: A Guide For Lab Workers

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When you are looking to run an experiment or clean beakers in a lab, you want water that is as pure as possible to avoid contamination.

So, with that in mind, what are some of the key factors that can impact the quality of the water that you are using in your lab? Which is the cleanest water available to use? Read on to find out!

Filtration Systems

water glassIf you are someone who likes to use water that comes from the tap to save costs, it is a comfort to know that in developed nations, there are filtration systems between the water source itself and your home. Of course, if you notice that there is a bad smell in your lab’s tap water, or it suddenly looks like it is different in colour, you should ideally contact your plumber as soon as possible, as the filtration system has likely become damaged and is impacting the water. Ideally, if you are looking for well-filtered water that is good to use in your lab, you should bulk buy distilled water; you can even hook up supplies to your taps to avoid someone using the wrong one by mistake.

Runoff

Where does the water you are filtering and using in your lab come from naturally? In some countries, there may be run-off of the surrounding sediment into the water. This is not a problem, per se, but some countries have higher natural levels of metals and minerals in their rocks, which can cause these to be drip fed into a natural spring. So, research before use and, if possible, purchase the water in the purest form you can, and use your tap water for less important parts of equipment or cleaning.

Treatment

water treatmentDifferent countries, and indeed in the US, different states, treat their tap water differently. Meaning that if you are using filtered water from a tap in Los Angeles, it will be a different quality to tap water used by a lab in another state like Florida.

It is worth looking into the treatment of water at the company that you buy it from; be sure to ask about average water quality, as well as the chemicals and filtration systems that they use when cleaning the water. Then put the appropriate steps in to ensure that the water is cleaned further before use.

Ion Amount

But in the UK, there is that very real north-south divide when it comes to water quality, with it being softer in the north. This is due to ion exchange and as well as being better for your lab equipment, soft water also has a higher quality overall. So, if you using tap water from a hard water area, be sure to filter it as much as you can. It may even be worth investing in a water softener.

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The Source

Does the water you use come from a natural well? Is that well near a farm where they use sprays or manure on the fields? On a rainy day, this will inevitably cause these factors to come into impact with your water, so try to use water sourced from a larger, better-controlled reservoir to do anything within your lab.

Anal Bead Chess Champion Wins Another Match

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Twitching and sweating profusely like a Catholic priest at a choir boy convention, celebrated anal bead chess champion Mike Gutters finished off his opponent with a swift check mate move that had the crowd gasping in surprise.

“How did he do that move? I mean, that is a Kasparov x 200 move from nowhere. He sacrificed his Queen for that killer move. Wow! It’s as if he is some kind of computer,” a man in the crowd revealed.

Mike Gutters has now been crowned the anal bead chess champion and holds an unbeaten record against some of the best players in the world.

Speaking after the arduous tournament, Gutters continued twitching and contorting his face in pain whilst loud muffled buzzing sounds were heard coming from somewhere.

“I have been accused of using anal beads to win chess matches by having someone transmit bluetooth signals that vibrate the next move in the game. This is utter <bzzzzzzzzt> nonsense. Ouch. I cannot think of anything more ridiculous. <bzzzzrt!>”

The chess champion then stood up abruptly from his chair, and awkwardly walked towards the door with his legs wide apart, at one point emitting a loud buzzing sound which then triggered a massive muffled fart.

How to Choose the Right Lawyer for You

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Lawyers are used for many different reasons and in many different sectors, but ultimately, their job is to make sure you get the best deal or justice that can be offered.

It is not often that you need a lawyer, and if you do find yourself in a situation where you do need one, you might be wondering where is best to start.

This piece is going to take a look at how you can choose the right lawyer for you and your situation in order to achieve the best outcome.

Read on to find out more.

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Understand Your Legal Problem

First off, before finding a law firm and an attorney that is the right fit for you, it is important that you understand your legal problem, so you can look in the right area.

The reason for this is that every lawyer has a different specialisation, which could help your case. For example, you would not choose an attorney who specialises in theft to help with your family case.

It is quite important that you find the right lawyer for you, and those in their chosen fields will know the up-to-date legislations, rules, developments, and any legal nuances. Because of this, they will give you the best chance of winning your case.

Choose a Lawyer That Has Experience

lawyer 3When dealing with a case that is important to you, you will want to find a lawyer that has the most experience in the area of issues that you find yourself in; you wouldn’t ask a brand-new doctor to perform a highly complicated surgery if you had a specialist on hand to do so instead!

To choose a lawyer, take a look at their background. Many successful cases will give you a good idea that they can be trusted to do their best for you if they take on your case, especially if the cases have been similar to yours. For example, if you have a family case, then look for renowned family law solicitors for further information.

Do not choose a lawyer that has limited experience in the field or a low success rate, purely because it shows there is a significant chance that they will lose your case, too.

Look for Solid and Consistent Communication Skills

Perhaps one of the most important aspects when choosing a lawyer is to find someone who is going to keep you in the loop. Being involved in a legal case can be extremely emotionally consuming, and being left in the dark will only make that worse.

You need someone who is going to be able to communicate with you what they intend to do, what they are doing, and why, in order to help keep you grounded and up to date throughout the whole process.

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Ensure They Take an Agreeable Approach to the Case

A lawyer is a person just like everyone else, which means they will have their own styles, personalities, and ways of dealing with issues and legal processes. Some may feel it is irrelevant what they are like if they are able to do their job, whereas others will find it important that they are able to connect with their lawyer.

In the event that you are going to tell them personal and sensitive information, you want to know you can trust them and that they will be free from judgement or criticisms that could be thrown your way.

Choosing the right lawyer for you will have a significant impact on how well your case will go and your experience during it, too. So make sure to take your time, do you research, and don’t be afraid to go somewhere else if you aren’t happy!

The Flexibility of Wood Flooring: How It Suits Different Decor Styles

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If you are flipping through interior design magazines looking for inspiration for your next big refurbishment, you might notice something. A lot of them have wooden flooring. Wooden flooring can come in all shapes and sizes, but it is particularly versatile, fitting in with just about any style you can think of.

Do you want us to prove it? Well then buckle up for our guide to wood flooring and how it can fit in with styles like minimalism, art deco and boho chic.

Minimalism

minimalismMinimalism as the western world knows it boils down to simply showing less, or hiding away, or outright getting rid of, clutter. It’s more a matter of combining “tidy home, tidy mind” and “out of sight, out of mind”. But minimalism has more routes in Asian culture than the mere existence of Marie Kondo. The East Asian style, and just about everything they do, is heavily influenced by nature, which is why you’ll see a lot of burnt oranges, deep browns, blacks, and greens in their interior décor. There is usually some point of all the elements making an appearance too, like burning candles, leafy plants, bamboo accents, etc.

This is where the wood flooring fits in quite nicely. Pretty much any tone of wood flooring would fit well in this style, but you can make a bold statement with some black or deep brown engineered wood flooring for an apt mix of pure nature and man-made innovation.

Art Deco

Art Deco is making a vibrant comeback. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum from minimalism, it is about the luxury of man-made style. You will see a lot of deep hues contrasted with geometric patterns of gold. Colour is vibrant and everywhere in the art deco style, but so is pattern. The wallpaper, the accessories, everything, has a pattern to follow – even the floor.

This is where parquet flooring thrives best. Wood floor tiles are already geometric in nature, so the floor will be just another area that you can add your patterns to, but you can take it a step further by making it parquet and giving your floor some man-made pattern.

Boho Chic

boho chicYou could say that Boho Chic is the western’s answer to Minimalism, in that it is greatly inspired by nature, but there is definitely no aversion to clutter here. There is a balance of loud and calm to Boho Chic. The walls are painted calm, pastel or neutral light colours, but are offset by loud patterned rugs and bold accessories.

But the lean towards nature is particularly appreciated when it comes to flooring. Your money is well invested if you go for solid wood flooring in a Boho Chic home. It will give an authentic feel to a home that appreciates nature and is long-lasting, therefore sustainable, décor. It will fit in nicely amongst the rustic furniture, leafy plants and thrifted décor that is integral to the Boho Chic style.

Kanye West Commits Career Suicide by Social Media

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It is official, autotune rapper Kanye West has not only gone clinically insane but has committed career suicide via social media.

Not known for his intelligence quota high scores, West is also blessed with numerous afflictions of the brain, probably schizophrenia mixed in with bipolarity, unjustified delusions of grandeur, manic depression and narcissistic  schizoid psychosis, but that’s neither here nor there. When you add antisemitism into the mix it gets very messy.

It is safe to say that this is the end of his career, because to say you are actively “…out to get the Jews” is just a man saying “take me away and bury me”.

“This is celebrity suicide. You know like suicide by cop, but this time by Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. No one can hire this guy again. His career is over,” a record executive remarked on Sunday.

But is this blatantly racist idiot’s career really over?

Because Kanye is part of a protected race where they can say anything they want without any repercussion, commit any heinous crime without prosecution, and are continuously parachuted into jobs they are not even qualified for, it is a certainty that nothing will happen to Kanye.

Despite the fact, like other hateful anti-semites like former Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, Kanye is normalising the hatred of Jews. Corbyn was white, so he eventually lost his job, but Kanye is black and is protected by the Liberal elites who run all media.