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Rambo Harry Killed 25 Afghans From Helicopter

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“I killed 25 p*kis from a distance of 1500 metres with my Apache m230 gun. They looked like Taliban, I call ’em mujs, ragheads or pak*s. Anyway, I was high on coke, and a bit tipsy but was certain they were not civilians. Who knows, they all look the same to me?” Harry boasted in a serialised passage from the media.

The new revelations from Harry recall his time in Afghanistan, as he boasts about his kill count.

“It was like clearing out a corner shop, they literally disintegrated as the high explosive rounds ripped through them, just like Meghan does regularly clearing out my bank account. Boom! Splat! All gone!”

The kill frenzy was probably carried out by Harry on a whim, as his colleagues revealed that Harry had a very itchy trigger finger.

“Yes, I remember Harry. He just wanted to shoot things all the time. He was a real party boy. We called him Captain Wales, or the Ginger Nutter. Any brown people, especially wearing turbans were Taliban to him, he would get in his Apache and blast away till smoke was coming from the rotating guns,” a mechanic recalled.

Sometimes the bullets were greased with pork fat to ensure the Afghans would not go to Islamic heaven, and be cursed for eternity.

One Afghan had just picked up a stick off the ground. He was now an official Taliban threat.

“We had to get clearance from the commander of the operation before letting loose. Sometimes Harry could not wait, he’d blast away laughing manically. He just had that itchy trigger finger groove going on. Bro was a real shooter,” a fellow Apache crew member revealed.

“If it moves, shoot it, was the motto from Harry. No one really knows what happened on those missions. Harry didn’t have the required skills or intelligence to fly the Apaches, but he could pull a trigger, so the Top Brass gave him that job. Even an ape can pull a trigger,” another witness revealed.

Story developing

Is Harry Now a National Security Threat?

 

‘Leathery Lizard’ Camilla Made Harry’s Skin Crawl

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In his newly released autobiography, Prince Harry recounts how meeting Camilla was like undergoing an injection such was his distaste and hatred of her. He describes her akin to a leathery lizard, hissing and clawing her way around the corridors. Harry idolised his mother Diana, therefore to have an ‘evil entity’ like Camilla take over and replace his mother was a living nightmare. One can almost feel the absolute disgust Harry feels towards this ‘vile interloper’ who killed off Diana’s marriage with Charles.

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. That one may smile and smile and be a villain. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in our philosophy.”

Harry portrays himself as a Hamletesque character, and views Charles, his father, as someone poisoned, subverted and corrupted by this woman they call Camilla. Where Diana is portrayed as a being of light, virtuous and truly benevolent, Camilla is portrayed as an evil conniving slithering snake operating in the shadows in Harry’s book.

Evil Stepmother Camilla

Consequently, we will probably never know the truth about what occurred in those heady days. The Netflix Crown series imagined what happened but one should never take such tabloid representations as truth. Whether people take Harry’s words of vitriol and anger as truth is up to the reader, however one must always have balance and the other point of view in any circumstance. The Palace is thus silent, and this allows things like Harry’s accusations to fester, to add doubt as well as to completely besmirch the character of the current Queen Consort. The royal PR machinery has gone to great lengths to clean up Camilla’s image over the past few decades. Could this swift cruel blow from Harry finally reduce the smoke and mirrors to a pile of smouldering rubble?

Smack Down: Prince William Punched Harry Over Meghan Bullying

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Thanks to the wonderful investigative reporting at the Guardian, news filters through the media manure basket that in Harry’s new moaning autobiography ‘Spare’, the two brothers had a bit of a smackdown situation at Kensington Palace.

Meghan Markle is a person who loves creating discord and division, especially through the woke religion, so it was, with abject glee, she must have smiled at news that Harry and William fought over her nasty behaviour.

William whacked Harry on the chin, and he went down hard.

Harry’s first thought was to go to his therapist after the boxing match was over.

Putin May Resort to Chemical Weapons in Ukraine

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Putin and his escapades in Syria with fellow dictator Assad had no qualms about using chemical weapons on civilians, so in desperation in Ukraine, it can be assumed that when all avenues are foregone, he will commit the same atrocities. The Syrian town of Khan Shaykhun on April 4, 2017, was witness to Assad’s chemical weapon attacks covered up by the Russians. The Kremlin war machine also supplied and assisted Assad’s forces in delivering the chemical weapon, Sarin. The Russian/Syrian atrocity killed 90 people, including 30 children.

By utilising chemical weapons, it is one step away from resorting to nuclear weapons, and the Kremlin would prefer the former choice. Putin and his evil agents of death have no scruples in slaughtering thousands of civilians and military personnel to achieve the goal of Ukrainian conquest. In his deranged cancer addled brain, Ukraine belongs to Russia, and he assumes he is merely taking back what was taken from him.

The Russians have also labelled Ukraine as a Nazi country, thus fuelling deep nationalistic behaviour among some of the indoctrinated population. Through the use of propaganda and enforcement, the mindset of many Russians has been skewed to accepting total war, and the term ‘special operations’ has been sidelined.

Weapons of mass destruction. A missile with a warhead looks into

The West would naturally condemn such an action against the Ukrainian population, however due to this being a proxy war, there is little they will be able to do apart from attempt to support the Ukrainians with further supplies.

By backing the rat into a corner, the West has not given Putin a way out of his folly in invading Ukraine. Sun Tzu stipulated in The Art of War, “When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard”. If the Western NATO high command and strategists wish for this conflict to end, they must give Putin a way out, but instead, under the auspices of an equally deranged Biden, they are skirting dangerous waters that can easily lead to escalation.

As mentioned earlier, the Russians will have no misgivings in using chemical warfare, as they have already done in Syria. The key point is de-escalation, which can be achieved through political and economical means by the West.

Ronaldo Excited to Watch Saudi Beheadings Every Saturday

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Cristiano Ronaldo, who recently signed to Saudi Arabian football club Al-Nassr for a cool £175 million a year, has already been invited to watch the weekly beheadings on Saturdays.

“The first thing they invited me to do was to bring the family for a great day out to watch the beheadings held in Deera Square, lovingly called ‘Chop Chop Square’. I can’t wait to see the chopping or maybe a few crucifixions. One guy even suggested I play football with the heads. I do not think my sponsors would like that,” Ronaldo explained shortly after landing at Riyadh’s King Khalid International Airport.

Saudi Arabia executed at least 116 in 2022, which is an important component of the Islamic Shari’ah law system in the country. In September 2011, a Sudanese migrant worker was beheaded for sorcery. In Saudi Arabia, one can be beheaded for apostasy, sorcery, murder, theft, adultery, and sodomy.

Celebrated executioner Muhammad Saad al-Beshi is the top guy for topping off heads, and has been chopping away since 1998.

“I am a great Ronaldo fan. When he comes to one of my beheading ceremonies, I may even try to impress him by doing some dribbling with one of the convict’s decapitated heads. Actually, maybe I should not do that because I do not want to splatter my bright white outfit. I take great care to not let the shooting blood get my thobe bloodied.”

In Portugal there are fears that if Ronaldo does not score enough goals for Al-Nassr, he himself could be up for the chop.

Sunak Talks About Maths While People Die in Hospital Corridors

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Today, unelected PM Rishi Sunak outlined his wishes that the most popular A-level in the UK, maths, should have some sort of vague initiative for all students at 18. Where is your fucking head at, mate? If you are so into mathematics, why not add up the amount of strikes that are being held across the country, or the amount of hospital beds needed by millions of sick people inundating overcrowded crumbling NHS hospitals.

“My darling Billionaire Rishi likes his maths because it allows him to count his money. This is a useful skill to have and gives him great pleasure every night when he comes home. He likes to count his holdings in this, and to count his holdings in other stocks. Counting your vast wealth is almost as pleasurable as having a wank, but not quite there. Rishi, then, goes to sleep and forgets about everything else. Why bother with other people when you are all well sorted for life? Everything and everyone else comes second fiddle when you have to constantly count your wealth fluctuations, especially during a great economic depression,” Sunak’s wife revealed to the Telegraph.

As food inflation rises daily to 15%; as mortgage rates rise daily, as rail ticket prices rise daily, as tax rates rise daily, as fuel prices rise daily … there is no respite to the insanity of the unelected PM Rishi Sunak, who has no mandate whatsoever to tell people what to fucking study at 18.

Go back to sleep in your ivory tower Sunak. The NHS is a crumbling mess, there are no ambulances and people are literally dying in hospital corridors on trolleys. Maths is a good skill to have when you are left in a cold corridor for 24 hours with internal haemorrhaging and blood dripping from your mouth.

More Royal Gossip and Tattle Tales From Harry and Meghan

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Gossip, gossip, gossip! It’s more misinformation, more she said, he said vindictive whiffle-whaffle insignificant Jerry Springer nonsense sold to Americans by Harry and Meghan. The most mystifying thing is, if these two miscreant narcissistic grumbletonian losers hate the British monarchy so much, why are they touting the Sussex name everywhere they go? Surely, they would renounce the titles? Money, you say? Surely not?

Selling tittle tattle to America to line their purses seems to be the order of the day, all the while King Charles III and his court stays firm with a dignified silence. Maybe, something does need to be done eventually because it won’t stop until Charles seizes the right moment to retaliate, or alternatively he is playing the self destruction ploy by letting these two mentally ill schizoid chavs slowly destroy themselves via the media they supposedly hate so much.

Another question? Who would want to be associated with Harry and Meghan in the future, especially if the vindictive narcissists always spill the beans to Netflix or some other trashy tabloid company? Why would anyone ever reveal anything to these selfish leaky pair of grifters? One could even posit that they are national security liabilities, especially by leaking insider royal secrets for profit.

They still have fans though, usually from the woke cult and delighted African Americans championing their own ‘princess syndrome’ deranged whacko bully who is on a racial onslaught to ruin the British.

With no way to shut these morons up, the media is full to the brim with their daily press releases controlled by some plastic surgeried pompous pansy freak. They left Britain supposedly from the hated media attention but now you can’t go anywhere without seeing their latest moan festival. It is vomitous, toe curling displays of narcissism that is distressing. Every day, every hour, the constant tales recounted of that time six years ago when some fucking insignificant episode occurred. Get over it you loathsome suppurating puss balls. Saccharine displays of your jet set polluting 17-bathroom fake love affair on Netfix are a diatribe to excess and gluttony, the sycophantic plasticity of their horrible series where they are showcased in woke glory is disgusting. It is preferable to have one’s eyeballs gouged out with blunt pencils than to watch more than 30 seconds of that contrived fake show dedicated to narcissism in its purest form.

Begone, cursed effluent streaming from the derrière of these torrid useless gossip merchants, you are not wanted, you are vile pimples on the anal sphincter of inhumanity. Your utterly fake claims of benevolence and fake empathy are totally transparent. Make your blood money and go, shut your mouths for one second and stop moaning about your privileged luxurious lifestyles spreading millions of tonnes of carbon emissions into the atmosphere with your daily private jet flights and one mile per gallon SUV fleets.

Man Electrocuted During Electric Car ‘Charge Rage’ Incident

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Competition to power up electric cars is leading to “charge rage” among drivers, as well as “range anxiety”. Tragedy befell a man who was involved in a terrible episode of “charge rage” when he inadvertently jumped a massive 3-mile-long queue of electric car users trying to get to an overcrowded charge point on the M6 in Tebay, Cumbria.

“This fella jumped the queue in his Tesla and hurriedly tried to connect the charger to his car. He was ranting and raving like a lunatic. He must have earthed himself and touched the charge points. The bloke lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. He literally fried like an egg, there was smoke even coming from his eye sockets and ears,” one witness at the charge rage incident revealed.

Police who attended the EV cremation event could do nothing but watch as someone tried to switch the electricity off from the mains. There were no ambulances because of strike action, so afterwards the police bundled up the smoking corpse into the back of one of their vans.

“It smelled like a barbecue gone wrong, you know, all charred up and black. We were on the way to a kebab for our break but afterwards decided against it,” police constable, Peter Scratchings, added.

The problem many EV users find is that there are very few charge points across the country compared to the large amount of EVs. The scarcity of charge points only creates range anxiety, and many EV users are thus emotional wrecks when driving their vehicles.

“We saw one man bawling like a big baby as his ludicrously expensive electric car was stranded in the middle of Wales. He had run out of charge and his mobile phone was out of battery as well. We drove by him and shouted “Stick with petrol, mate!” and he continued crying like a big fucking baby,” a regular driver revealed on a driving forum.

It’s commonplace for drivers to unplug a vehicle left on charge and to plug their own vehicle in. This is called “charge rustling” and many electric vehicle drivers have succumbed to this type of skulduggery.

“I saw a woman go into a shop to buy some food while her car was charging. When she came out, her charge plug was in another car. Annoyed, she banged on the car window and a large black man stepped out. She said sorry and went to the back of the queue without saying another word,” a witness recounted.

Currently, the government has no plans to increase the number of chargers across the tiny island of Britain. Here’s to zero carbon emissions.

Greta Thunberg to Star in Eco Pizza Porn Video to Taunt ‘Toxic’ Influencer

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It doesn’t get more insidious than this. Darling of the eco hysteria business Greta Thunberg announced on Friday through her management company that she will be starring in an eco pizza porn video. Why would this sweet little girl be doing such a thing?

Big Dick Energy

“I want to humiliate this toxic influencer and his toxic ways. He has small dick energy, and I only like my Isterband at 10 inches. Anything below that is small for me. Throw in a couple of vegan pizzas I can roll around in, and we have some real dirty Swedish eco porn.”

The strictly naughty videos will have images of icebergs melting and polar bears stranded on rocks to compound the effect of helplessness that is Thunberg’s trademark.

How Bare You!

The people that control Thunberg want to promote a dirtier side to the angelic character that everyone knows and loves.

“She is not promoting breeding with this video, on the contrary, she will be promoting self-love and pizza to save the planet. Greta also wants to put two fingers up to that toxic idiot who got caught by the police from a pizza box. We never mention his name here in the Eco HQ, just call him a ‘liten skit’,” Göta Söderström, spokeswoman for Thunberg revealed on Friday.

China Encouraging Worldwide Travel During Covid Epidemic

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The Chinese Communist Politburo are encouraging the spread of possible new strains of the Covid pathogen so that the globe can be reinfected, thus propagating a new global pandemic.

Chinese Travel Ministry official Sum Ting Wong was jubilant about Chinese infected travellers spreading the pathogen worldwide.

Our hospitals are overwhelmed, people are piled up in corridors, and they are dropping dead in the streets, so what better time to open the doors to travel the world. Even our exported Christmas lights are infected with the possibly deadly virus.”

china tourists covid spread
Infected Chinese tourists are being encouraged to travel abroad to spread the deadly pathogen

Italy is a prime target for the Chinese, especially as they know the porous Schengen zone will allow the new deadly pathogen to spread through Europe quickly and efficiently, killing many of the infected.

“Italy is the Chinese virus’ gateway to Europe from China. It is imperative that as many of our tourists are allowed in to Italy so that more infections can occur,” a PLA chemical warfare specialist revealed on Thursday.