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Football’s Brainiac: The Genius Midfielder Who Plays with His Mind as Much as His Feet

Ville Pepo
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Football’s Brainiac: The Genius Midfielder Who Plays with His Mind as Much as His Feet

Meet the newest sensation in football, the player who is causing a stir both on and off the pitch. While most footballers are known for being dumb monosyllabic throwbacks kicking balls around a field for huge sums of money, this midfielder is attracting attention for his intellect and brainpower.

Meet Alex Scuppers, the self-proclaimed footballing brainiac, who can be heard discussing intricate philosophical and mathematical problems during games.

While his opponents are busy exchanging insults and trash talk, Alex is deep in thought, pondering the mysteries of the universe and calculating the angles of his next pass.

“Given the initial velocity equals 15m/s ; and the goal height = 2.4m ; distance of goal is 5 metres, one must find the minimum condition of angle the ball enters the goal at which point the ball avoids the goalie. I find the launched angle that the football will dip just below the top of the goal, you know Ronaldinho style, but will be prevented from passing over it because it lacks a few millimetres to pass over the 2.4 m goal height. I immediately ascertained within these parameters the launched angle and found it to be 24.65°. At this angle the dymax or the maximum height of the ball is 1.997m which is 3 millimetres short of 2.4 m. This assumed that the acceleration due to gravity, g at that location is 9.8 m/s^2 and the football field is level and not elevated. Vo is the initial velocity of the ball, theta is the launched angle in degrees. The range of the ball if allowed to pass is 17.406 m. The time of flight of the ball is 1.277 seconds. The initial horizontal velocity Vox is 13.633 m/s, the initial vertical velocity Voy is 6.256 m/s, the time of rise of the ball is in the t_rise window and the time of fall is in the t_fall window. I sincerely apologise I cannot provide you with the needed formulas to obtain the angle and the value of dymax because there are so many of them for my mind to process. However, if we calculate the ymax or maximum height and the angles in degrees and in radians. The formula for ymax is ymax = vo^2 * (sin of angle)^2 /19.6 where vo^2 is the square of the initial velocity Vo and 19.6 is twice the value of 9.8 m/s^2. The angle in radians is necessary for my mind to process the entered formulas. The time of rise t_rise is equal to viy / g where viy is the initial vertical velocity and g = 9.8 m/s^2.”

Despite some initial scepticism from his teammates, Alex’s skills have won them over. “At first, we thought he was just a bit weird. We would be off after a game and ask him if he wanted to join in some DP spit roast action with some slags from Newcastle, but he would always politely decline,” said one teammate. “But then we realized he was actually a fucking genius, and he was helping us win games with his brainpower.”

Alex’s unique style of play has also caught the attention of some major football clubs, who are reportedly interested in signing him. “We’ve never seen anything like it,” said a representative from Manchester United. “He’s like a footballing Einstein!”

While some traditionalists may be sceptical of Alex’s approach to the game, he remains confident in his abilities. “Football is not just about physical strength and skill, it’s also about mental agility and strategy,” he said. “And I plan to use my brainpower to take over the footballing world!”

Only time will tell if Alex’s genius will lead him to footballing glory, but one thing is for certain: he’s a player who will keep both his opponents and his fans guessing.

The Greasiest Man in Town: How One Man’s Oily Hair Became a Multi-Purpose Tool

Ville Pepo
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The Greasiest Man in Town: How One Man’s Oily Hair Became a Multi-Purpose Tool

Meet Mr. Sunak, the country’s most important man supposedly, and also the greasiest. Mr. Sunak’s hair is so greasy that you could literally fry an egg on it, and the local kids have been known to slide across the pavement on their stomachs just by rubbing against his head.

Despite the obvious hygiene concerns, Mr. Sunak has found a way to turn his greasy hair into a multipurpose tool, using it for everything from fixing squeaky doors in parliament and Number 10 to lubricating factory machinery.

“I always knew my greasy hair was good for something,” Mr. Sunak told the Daily Telegraph. “It’s like a natural smelly greasy all-purpose lubricant!”

Mr. Sunak’s hair has become so versatile that he’s even been approached by major companies looking to use his secret formula in their products. “I can’t reveal the exact ingredients,” he said, “but let’s just say it involves a lot of burger grease and sweat.”

But Mr. Sunak’s greasy hair has also caused some unexpected problems. One time, he was attending a high-profile meeting when a gust of wind blew his hair into the face of the Chinese supreme leader Xi Jingping, causing a major diplomatic incident. And his greasy locks have been known to leave oily stains on expensive suits and furniture.

Despite these setbacks, Mr. Sunak remains proud of his greasy hair and continues to find new uses for it every day. “Who needs expensive lubricants when you’ve got a head full of disgusting smelly grease?” he said with a smirk. “My rich wife is so dry and tight, I call her the Sahara,” he added.

As for the rest of the town, they may have to invest in some heavy-duty detergent to get rid of the lingering smell of rotting burger grease and sweat. Just be careful when lighting matches around this guy, or everything will go up in flames, just like the UK’s economy.

Vegetables Declare War on Junk Food: “We’re Taking Over Your Plates!”

Ville Pepo
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Vegetables Declare War on Junk Food: “We’re Taking Over Your Plates!”

In a surprising turn of events, vegetables across Britain have declared war on junk food, declaring that they are taking over the nation’s plates and pushing unhealthy snacks to the sidelines.

In a press conference held yesterday, a spokesperson for the vegetable coalition, Professor Lettuce Pray, said, “Enough is enough! We’re sick of being the side dish to your greasy fucking burgers and fries. It’s time for vegetables to take centre stage and show everyone what we’re made of!”

The move has been met with mixed reactions, with some people applauding the vegetable coalition for promoting healthy eating, while others have expressed concern that they will be forced to eat boring salads and unappetizing green vegetables.

In response to the vegetable takeover, fast food chains have launched a counter-attack, introducing new menu items that incorporate vegetables into their products. McDonald’s has announced a new “McVeggie Burger” that features a blend of vegetables in a crispy coating, while KFC has unveiled a “Veggie Bucket” that includes a selection of battered vegetables and dips.

Despite the resistance from the evil junk food industry, the vegetable coalition remains undeterred. “We’re not going to stop until every plate in the country is covered in vegetables,” the spokesperson declared. “You may think you don’t like us now, but just wait until you try our new range of vegetable-based desserts!”

It remains to be seen whether the vegetables will be successful in their bid for culinary dominance, but one thing is certain: it’s going to be an interesting battle between the greens and the grease.

8 Clerihews Defaming Joe Biden

Ville Pepo
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8 Clerihews Defaming Joe Biden

Joe Biden
is too old for hang-glidin’.
Much less than that; if a pin were to drop,
the poor old fellow’s heart would stop.

Joe Biden
looks like he’s subsidin’.
He limps and shivers, scowls and stutters –
thank God he’s in charge of the nuclear button.

Joe Biden’s
supposed to be providin’
an antidote to Donald Trump.
‘Cept Joe’s Third Way shtick helped spawn that chump.

Joe Biden
is not very much like John Lydon.
‘Cos aside from all his problems Joe
can actually play and sing a note.

Joe Biden
has much experience of presidin’
despite having plagiarised a pillock:
a two-time loser called Neil Kinnock.

Joe Biden
will you keep survivin’
till once again the voters cry:
‘We’re sick of neoliberals, let’s give neofascists another try’?

Joe Biden
likes to go hitch-hikin’.
He cocks a thumb at his front door
and the stairlift takes him to the first floor.

Joe Biden
can’t keep hidin’
his love of the military-industrial complex
by having a VP of colour and the female sex.

Obama: “I am ready for my fourth term in 2024”

Ville Pepo
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Obama: “I am ready for my fourth term in 2024”

You may think that Joe Biden has been the one making policy since 2020, but you would be wrong…very wrong. The reality of the situation is that this current term in the White House is Barack Hussein Obama’s third term, and when the Democrats engineer another election in 2024, it will be Obama’s fourth term.

Joe Biden, a barely functioning person was the perfect puppet for the job simply because he has zero thought process, and most of the time does not know where he is or what he is trying to say whilst mumbling incoherently.

“We never wanted someone with a mind of their own. We tell Joe what to say. Everything is heavily scripted, and even though this guy can barely speak, the government is run completely by the team behind the stumbling zombie,” a White House insider revealed.

The hiccup after the two Obama terms was Donald Trump, who tried to undo everything Obama and his cronies committed America to do. When Biden was shoehorned into the position, Obama had quite a job on his hands to reinstate his agenda and policies in America. Through the barely animated corpse of Biden, Obama has been working 24/7 along with his teams to repair the ‘damage’ of the Trump term.

The 2024 election will thus be Obama’s fourth term. The extreme process utilised by the Democrats to either discredit, jail and frame Trump will be ongoing. If that does not work, the Democrats will have to utilise the ballot stuffing and postal votes technique that was successful in the 2020 elections when hundreds of thousands of dead voters were recorded as Biden votes. Along with banning election observers during counts, resetting counting machines and all the other tricks utilised to beat Trump.

If there are any honest people left in America, you would not vote in a rigged system because there is absolutely no point in doing so if you are anything other than a Democrat.

As the open borders and the heavy transgender push gives Obama away as being the man behind the Biden regime, the other give away is the Laissez-faire weak foreign policy which encouraged Putin to commit a full scale invasion of Ukraine. Obama lost the Crimea in 2014 during his second term, and he lost a quarter of Ukraine in his third term.

Presidents should only have two terms, but Obama could have four. Thanks to the shuffling corpse of Joe Biden, Obama has truly fulfilled his greatest dreams for pushing his various Marxist communist agenda upon the now compromised nation of America.

A celebrated member of the globalist World Economic Forum (WEF) has called for a staggering 86 percent reduction in the population of humans, arguing that the goal can be achieved “peacefully.”

Dennis Meadows, one of the main authors of the Club of Rome’s 1972 pro-depopulation book “The Limits to Growth.”

Meadows argues that most of the world’s population must be wiped out so that the survivors can “have freedom” and a “high standard of living.”

During a 2017 interview, Meadows claims that genocide of 86% of the world’s population is “inevitable.”

However, he insists that a “benevolent” dictatorship could accomplish the mass de-population “peacefully.”

“We could [ ] have eight or nine billion, probably,” he says of the world’s growing population.

“If we have a very strong dictatorship which is smart … and [people have] a low standard of living,” Meadows says as he explains how the population reduction agenda could be triggered.

Transgenderism Symbolises the New Age of Baphomet

Ville Pepo
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Transgenderism Symbolises the New Age of Baphomet

You may wonder why transgenders and transgenderism are given the highest level of attention and this minority are lauded so highly by the elite establishment?

Transgenderism is everywhere these days, pushed in all media, advertising, film, music and even beer. It is a form of transhumanism, a form of transcending the biological into something else that is different to the ordinary human. In esoteric terms, the rise of transgenderism heralds the beginning of the new age of Baphomet, especially as previously dominant religions like Christianity are on the wane.

George_Washington_Greenough_statue
George Washington statue by Horatio Greenough in the National Museum of American History. Commissioned by Congress in 1832

Baphomet is a symbol of balance in various occult and mystical traditions, the origin of which some occultists have attempted to link with the Gnostics and Templars, although occasionally purported to be a deity or a demon.

Transgenderism is thus part of this symbolic ode to Baphomet, as this androgynous symbol is depicted as the signalling of a revolutionary heretical tradition that embraces the “emancipation of humanity” and the establishment of a perfect social order incorporating the ideals of romantic and utopian socialism.

Transgenderism also symbolises a new age of decreased population through many techniques which have been in place for over fifty years but are only now coming to fruition.

The future being introduced by the elite controllers, especially by entities like the WEF, UN, EU is one of all-encompassing transition towards a new age. The current Biden administration is a continuation of the Obama term, Joe Biden is a silent front to a former agenda that was nearly ruined by Donald J. Trump. To continue the transgender Baphomet agenda, the next president has to be the third term for Obama, the man behind Biden. Transhumanism will mean augmentation of the human body from one form to an infinitesimal deluge of hybrid transformational forms transcending biological humans, not only in brain power but in actual physical form.

What will be seen as an affront to Christianity will be hailed as a representational victory to Baphomet and the disciples to this deity, as the technological progress will far supersede any natural biological form, humans will be given only two choices, progress to the next level or be left behind to perish.

Anti-Trump Jury Convicts Trump of Raping Woman He Never Met?

Ville Pepo
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Anti-Trump Jury Convicts Trump of Raping Woman He Never Met?

Allegedly, according to a hand-picked anti-Trump jury selected by Democrat Party officials specifically to halt or mar Trump’s 2024 presidential candidacy, President Trump raped a woman who he never met in his life.

“How do you rape a woman you never met in your life before?” one man asked.

“It’s easy, if your name is Trump, specifically Donald, aka The Don, these are the kinda dirty tricks the Democrats will partake in trying to fuck over your candidacy. Because they have a rotting corpse Obama zombie in the race, they are seriously scared and will do anything, I reiterate — anything to stop Trump. Donald, he can actually string a sentence together. The Biden zombie cannot even string a coherent sentence together or remember what he did five minutes ago.”

It is quite ironic that Trump is being blamed for pretty much every sexual crime in America, when according to the alleged diary of Biden’s own daughter, Ashley, when she was very young, she used to have long prolonged showers with her dad, allegedly. But, shush, because Creepy Joe is a Democrat, he is protected, and he can get away with anything without fear of prosecution.

As for Hunter Biden …

8 Clerihews Defaming Ed Davey

Ville Pepo
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0
8 Clerihews Defaming Ed Davey

Ed Davey,
my awareness of you is at best hazy.
But this is only right – let’s have no pretence –
for every bloody leader of the Lib Dems.

Ed Davey,
as Liberals go you’re not too shady.
No Oaten orgies or Ashdown affairs,
much less Mr Thorpe’s near-murder dare.

Sweet Ed Davey,
will you be my baby?
What really turns me on about you
is that your hair and party logo are the same yellow hue.

Ed Davey,
you’re for business, monarchy, army and navy.
So what alternative do you offer
to all the other parties led by tossers?

Ed Davey,
you’re just like my homemade gravy:
tepid and tasteless, dull and thick;
quite simply the public won’t swallow it.

Ed Davey,
is off to the Indonesian island of Sulawesi.
What a contrast to England’s air
because people may have actually heard of him there.

Ed Davey,
In the Enlightenment era, the liberal ideology to which you broadly subscribe gave European colonialism a dubious justification for slavery.
But I doubt you would have guessed so,
let alone put it in your next manifesto.

Ed Davey,
you think that Brexit’s crazy.
You want integrity, democracy, justice and values,
but despite all that you love the EU.

Jeremy Hunt Praises Loss of Over 1,000 Tory Seats at Local Elections

Ville Pepo
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Jeremy Hunt Praises Loss of Over 1,000 Tory Seats at Local Elections

“We at the Remainer Tory Party are appreciative of the cover-up of the rout I personally engineered of Tory seats because of the King’s coronation ceremony. Not many people are talking about how I have made the Tories now so unpopular that if a person steps in a dog shit somewhere, they shout out ‘Sunak’ or my illustrious name. Yes, I Jeremy Hunt am an unbridled nefarious cunt of the highest in order. Let me tell you about the plan to lose the next election to Labour, so that Brexit can be reversed completely. The Treasury, BofE, and civil service swamp along with our various agents aligned with Brussels have purged the Tory Party of Brexiteers very successfully. It is only a matter of time my fellow EU Comrades that we make the people who even voted for Brexit change their minds. By increasing interest rates to insane levels we are creating pain to millions of households across the country, we have encouraged inflation to rise higher and higher on a daily basis to make your everyday survival a fucking horrible miserable existence. This is what Brexit Britain looks like thanks to remainers like me, and it will only get worse, rest assured, as I raise taxes higher and increase bureaucracy red-tape to kill more business off at the root.”

Biden Admin Allows Heteros to Openly Serve in Navy

Ville Pepo
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Biden Admin Allows Heteros to Openly Serve in Navy

The Navy will have to change Biden says

Fulfilling a campaign promise, Biden said the law will strengthen national security and uphold the ideals that the country’s sailing men and women risk their lives to defend.

“No longer will our country be denied the service of thousands of patriotic Americans who are forced to leave the Navy – regardless of their skills, no matter their bravery or their zeal, no matter their years of exemplary performance – because they happen to be straight,” Biden said.

In the Navy

The new law ended the Obama era ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, which forced straight Navy members to hide their sexual orientation or face dismissal.

“It was real hard because if you didn’t join in with the transexual, transgender gay orgies on deck or aft, they would immediately know you were not a real sailor boy,” John Rimmer, an ex-Navy recruit, told CNN News.

While officials did not announce any timetable for the revamp, the process will probably take months as the Navy has to formulate new service guidelines.

The guidelines will also cover a host of questions, from how to educate sailors on how to treat straight non-trans members of the team, and how the Navy’s tradition of steaming gay Bud Light saunas and submarine orgies would have to be toned down.

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