As gestures go, this one is seemingly up there with the greats and is almost akin to the historic meeting during World War II of Stalin, Churchill and Eisenhower.

Ever since the historic moment of the Ku Klux Klan endorsing Mr Obama, there have been major changes in the United States with regards to their seriously fractured racial society.

President Obama seems to have single handedly pulled off something that no previous white American president has ever achieved or even attempted to achieve — racial unity.

The two men met in the White House’s Rose garden and after a brief photo call they moved on to the Oval office where the president himself made the Klan deputy leader a cup of coffee.

“40 Acres and a Mule?”

“I felt like I was back in the plantation. There’s something cozy about a houseni**er bringing you a cup of coffee. Of course, I checked to see if he spit in it. You always gots to check wit’ these negroes.

“This time, there were no cracks of the whip but maybe a head rub to show my appreciation. I drank a sip and found out the boy skimped on the sugar. Now this ain’t right. If he’d been working the sugar cane or cotton fields I can understan’ him skimping — but a houseni**er? Surely not folks! I told the boy, I said, c’mon now Barrack or whatever your Muslim name is. I said, c’mon now don’t be skimping on my sugar in my coffee. So I kicked him in the shin with my KKK boot and he ran off to make me another cup. He got it right that time so I let the boy shine my shoes and handed him a nickel,” the deputy Imperial Wizard told CNN’s Larry King.

Labour’s deputy leader Harriet Harman says a major shake-up in
the law is vital to smash the idea that people are ‘past it’ once they are dead.

In an interview with the Daily Mail, Miss Harman, who will
today announce a fast-track Government review of the retirement age,
said it should be scrapped.

Britons would be forced to work beyond death, and would have
the option to choose to sign a compulsory contractual clause dictating that they will only retire 5 years after their death.

By increasing the retirement age to the after-life for all state workers, this will mean that the government will receive more taxes and money even after the worker has been buried underground, Miss Harman said.

The change in the law would cover staff who have already signed contracts that say they will retire at the normal age and will force them to abide by the new laws.

In addition, Miss Harman wants to reduce the state pension by 54% to increase the empty treasury coffers.

Latest figures show a record 1.4million workers have reached the
state pension age of 60 for women and 65 for men and they will be told tomorrow of the new government plans.

“I was going to retire tomorrow after working 45 years of my life as a road sweeper for Lambeth council, they told me yesterday that I will have to work until my death. That’s why I’m off to the bridge right now to take a swan dive into the Thames. It’s a hard life innit?” Reg Braithwaite, 65, told the Evening Standard.

The new directive is the exact opposite, however, to the retirement age for those working in high government office; they usually retire at the age of 45 with a large taxpayer funded pension and numerous other financial benefits.

“Gordo sat in the corner throughout the birthday party and was seen grumbling as he stuffed a whole slice of cake into his mouth. In true Brown style he then refused to leave the party after everyone had left and the 10 year-old girl was very upset. It seems Gordon just does not know when to leave eh,” a reporter for the Times reported yesterday.

Despite the children in the party throwing food at Gordon and taunting him with calls for him to leave, he was said to stand his ground and dig deep into the corner of the room, much like a rat that had been cornered. The rest of the kids eventually left after much boredom and Gordon continued to stalk the room whilst the 10-year-old girl wept over her presents and her parents sat on the sofa glaring at Gordon lurched in the corner staring into space.

The impromptu hostage situation carried on for another 18 hours until one of Brown’s most trusted aides decided that enough was enough and went into the house to extract the PM.

“They had to pull him out of the house whilst literally scraping the floor and walls with his fingernails. Oh my lord, the screams and moans were utterly awful. It was a terrible sight to behold. And then we realised we forgot his medication pills under the table so one of us had to go and retrieve them. It took all four of us and six policemen three hours to remove Mr Brown from the little girl’s house into the waiting special bus,” Arthur Jenkins, the Number 10 press secretary told a group of reporters camped outside the house.

What was meant to be a PR stunt set up to increase the PM’s election prospects, instead revealed his greatest weakness — his inability to leave and admit defeat after massive losses and public disgrace.

“This was nothing but a storm in a teacup. Just some childish silliness,” Mr Brown said after the incident.

Last week, Mr Brown refused to leave a factory in Burnley and the week before that Mr Brown refused to leave the downstairs bathroom in Number10 Downing Street, eventually Mrs Brown persuaded him to leave only after telling him he could have some more of those special pills that make everything go away.

“We have detained a group of sixty immigrants who were trying to escape Britain,” Deputy Secretary of Immigration, Dean Ross, told the Daily Mail.

The immigrants, who were all receiving state benefits, said that conditions in Britain were so awful that they were trying to flee to the war-torn West African country of Angola.

One of the immigrants pleaded with the Home Office to let them go: “We are begging the Home Secretary to let us go. I would rather live in a war-torn poverty stricken country than in Britain. We just want to go back to our homeland away from this awful miserable place.”

The immigrant detainees rioted after they were told that they would have to stay in the U.K but order was restored after promises by the Border Control that their case would be reviewed in 6 years time.

Until then they will be detained in Dagenham, North East London.

“We need to hold another of my world saving summit meetings this time from within another summit meeting,” Mr Brown told Britain’s state broadcasting station, the BBC.

The summit meeting within a summit meeting will be held at the Little Chef motel on the outskirts of Swindon tomorrow where a number of world leaders will descend.

Mr Brown had a pre-summit meeting yesterday to discuss how the summit meeting would go and which world leaders should be invited to the summit meeting within the summit meeting.

“This time Gordon Brown is really going to save the world. It’s going to be the summit meeting of summit meetings. This is the thirtieth time old Gordo’s saved the world this week, he’s a fuckin’ barnstormer he is,” Geoff Randall, a senior Whitehall executive in charge of summit meetings told the Mirror.