The new Toyota sat nav system is the only one in the world which says a final prayer for its passengers before they crash, the Top Gear TV show has revealed.

One of the presenters for the popular motoring program, Richard Hammond, recently tried out the Toyota sat nav system and gave it a resounding nod.

Speaking from his hospital bed he said: “This is my third near fatal crash filming the Top Gear program, and I have to say this new Toyota sat nav system really did ease the terror of hurtling towards a concrete bollard at 140 mph in my Yaris. It calmly gave me the last rites in a very calm voice just before the crash which paralysed me from the neck down. I definitely would buy this if I could ever drive a car again.”

The prayer said by the sat nav system installed in all Toyota cars is delivered by a practising vicar, although depending on religious proclivities, the prayer can be adjusted to Islamic, Hindu, Jewish and even Church of England faiths.

A spokesman for Toyota said: “Our customers like the peace of mind they have when they get into one of our cars. The moment you step on the accelerator pedal you know that you’re in God’s hands. This is when the sat nav prayer starts reciting the last words you will ever hear. Who needs Dignitas when you have a Toyota.”

“You know it’s election time when Gordo comes onto ITV and starts to weep like a baby over his tragedies. It was perfect timing, the polls were already sizzling for Labour, so they wanted the extra boost. Gordon’s so confident that he’s even talking about bringing the election forward to next week. Therefore, using one’s own personal grief in such a way for political gain seems to have worked wonders for Gordon Brown,” Dan Henry, an independent campaign watcher told the Labour party’s’ propaganda station, the BBC.

The unelected PM who seeks his first ever election win, has even vowed to ensure that every Briton will get a personal cancer nurse when they get cancer.

“I have vowed to somehow stretch our already bankrupt NHS system, where you cannot even get an appointment to have your blood tested, to give every British person their own cancer nurse. So now, when every Briton is struck down with cancer, you can hope for a long and protracted death under the NHS, albeit with an imaginary nurse looking after you and my mumbling voice on the telly telling you how good things are for you,” Mr Brown said through his tears.

After the television interview, Piers Moron handed back the onion that had fallen on the floor after Mr Brown had got up to leave.

The man is said to have bought his 54-year-old wife the Toyota for her birthday and even encouraged her to get into the vehicle and drive it.

Luckily for his wife, after entering the deadly vehicle she realised it was a Toyota when she touched the accelerator pedal and it shot off like a rocket.

“That little shitbag tried to kill me. I hope they put him in Sing Sing for the rest of his crappy life,” Agnys Demartino, told the local radio station KRCS.

Her husband, Bruno Demartino, was arrested and arraigned until the court case in April.

Asked after his arrest why he tried to do away with his wife, Mr Demartino said: “That old bag has been trying to kill me with her cooking for thirty fuckin’ years!”

Last week, a Dallas woman was arrested after buying her husband’s mistress a brand new Toyota, and in New York, Mafia bosses for the Tagliatelle family even tried to despatch a rival mafia gang boss by presenting him with a brand spanking new Toyota.