“By the gods and goddesses, when Mrs Brown took off her shoes and walked into our temple, what we saw was astounding. Her toe mutation looks like the goddess Dhumavati, the ugly eternal widow. Is this an omen of what is to come in the world and in Britain, maybe a terrible pestilence, a virus of some sorts? She was immediately surrounded by some priests and Sadhus who took her into another room to examine her toe even further,” Anil Kapoor, one of the elders of the temple told Neasden’s local paper.

News of the incredible toe find has travelled far and wide and is now headline news in India and the sub-continent.

There are calls for Sarah to bring her toe to Mumbai where a religious sect who worships Dhumavati – otherwise known as Alakshmi – want to examine the astounding mutation.

“We want to go on a pilgrimage to Downing Street to see her foot, or maybe she can come over here for a while. Nevertheless, many thousands of Hindus worldwide are ready to come to England to see the inbred freak show. It is very similar to the Christian Lourdes or the Turin Shroud,” Adnan Prindeep, a journalist from New Delhi told the BBC World Service.

Number 10 was today silent on the matter and did not want to draw attention to Sarah Brown’s wonderful mutation, which has captured the imagination of half of South-East Asia and Neasden.

“We’re adopting the new scrappage scheme from Gordon Brown and that Mandelson chap. If it worked for the Brits, why not us? I say we roll the whole program out over all the other former Soviet countries. F*ck, there goes my Lada,” Jekshemesh Shitskin, a roadsweeper from the capital city told the state news service on Thursday.

Already, in the capital city alone, over 3,000 vehicles have been burnt and torched on the streets.

“This is a car scrappage scheme that rivals anything seen in Western countries. We mean business here – because we scrap the cars with the owners still inside. Also, when we scrap your car, it’s not like other countries where you get a new shining model, in our country we give you f*ck all for it. It’s great for the economy too, although, come to think of it, er, we don’t actually have an economy..oops!” Volotov Molotovo, a senior government official told the Kabar news agency.