“Astronomical shows revealing the wonders of the universe are now prevalent on the BBC. In a concerted effort to bring science to the masses, the BBC is paying celebrity scientists vast sums of taxpayers money to travel to hundreds of locations around the world and speak with very simple lingo in a condescending faux empathetic manner about the universe whilst loud electronica music blares out over a dumbed down astro-comical cum fest,” an old fuddy duddy from Scunthorpe, Jack Sparrow, 67, told BBC6 news.

There have been hundreds of complaints about the latest dumbing down exercise by the BBC.

Things Can Only Get Better

“I pay the BBC tax so that this jumped up charlatan can ponce around the world and have an extended poseur holiday as well as get paid for it? You must be joking,” retired colonel, John Mathers, from Gloucestershire, complained on last week’s Radio 4, Your Voice program.

And it’s not just the elderlies who are complaining, what about the legitimate scientists?

Professor Harold Jenkem from Oldham University said: “I’ve watched these supposed science programs from the BBC purportedly talking about the universe. All I saw was some prat calling himself professor Brian Cock prancing around posing at every opportunity with flashing lights all around him and loud electronic music blaring out. Couldn’t hear a fucking word he said, but looking at a transcript, it’s all elementary stuff. Why not commission real science programs and not this utter guff?”

On a positive note, maybe it is a good thing that science is being promoted to the masses, although, unfortunately to do this, it must first be dumbed down to a standard that borders upon levels that are offensively cretinous.

Here are some excerpts from the show, so you can make up your minds yourselves:

“Observing the night skies with the naked eye can only take us so far on our journey and wonders of our universe.”

“Advances in technology have brought us crafts that can take humans on expeditions beyond our planet.”

“The universe is a vast place.”

“The moon is not as big as the earth but is smaller than the sun.”

Russell is seen dancing along to some crappy R’n’B tune which is very similar to his wife, Katy Perry’s music.

As he girates his body, the fat folds do their own little dance.

“I think it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in me vacuous life. Russell used to be a right barrel of laughs, plus he looked like one too, innit!” Brand’s wife Katy told MTV on Monday.

Not only is Brand a world renowned Tiddly Winks champ, but he’s also a ‘well proper’ film star in America these days.

“Russell is big in America. He broke the Yanks, something that even Oasis couldn’t do. He’s slimmed down somewhat since his teen years, but one thing hasn’t changed — he’s still a major c*nt!” Bob Geldofal, an old acquaintance from Brand’s first ever presenting job told the Sun newspaper.