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Palestine: "Would the Nazis Have Given the Jews Statehood in Europe?"

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Speaking from the UN in New York, Israeli PM, Binyamin Netanyahu said: “Why does the world shed crocodile’s tears over the richly merited fate of a small Palestinian minority? … I ask Obama, I ask the Jewish people: Are you prepared to receive in your midst these well-poisoners of the Israeli people and the universal spirit of Zionism? We would willingly give everyone of them a free steamer-ticket and a thousand-shekel note for travelling expenses, if we could get rid of them.”

The Israeli premier was met with rapturous applause from the assembled Israeli contingent.

“Israel will regard the Palestinian question as solved only after the very last Palestinian has left the greater Israeli living space…  Zion will have its Palestinian question solved only after the very last Arab has left our lands.”

Mr Netanyahu then said: “For us, this is not a problem you can turn a blind eye to-one to be solved by small concessions.  For us, it is a problem of whether our nation can ever recover its health, whether the Palestinian spirit can ever really be eradicated.  Don’t be misled into thinking you can fight a disease without killing the carrier, without destroying the bacillus.  Don’t think you can fight racial tuberculosis without taking care to rid the nation of the carrier of that racial tuberculosis.  This Palestinian contamination will not subside, this poisoning of the nation will not end, until the carrier himself, the Palestinian Arab, has been banished from our midst.” (Applause)

The Palestinian contingent, who were watching the Israeli officials hold their fists in the air defiantly, cowered in the corner of the United Nations conference hall.

“We will never let the Untermenschen get over the wall to Israel. As you can see we have built a big concrete wall to keep the animals out of Israel. What do you gentiles suggest, that we demolish the 70 foot concrete walls and acknowledge the existence of non-humans?” Mr Netenyahu shouted before leaving the conference hall.

It seems that the bullied has now turned into the bullier.

EU Orders Britain to Pay Up For Euro Failure

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“Ve haf vays of making you pay more tax you schweinhunds,” an EU official has told Britain’s chancellor, Osborne, yesterday at an impromptu EU finance meeting in Brussels.

EU budget commissioner Janusz Lewandowski, ordered the British chancellor to commit Britain to pay billions more tax to fund poor Eastern European countries like Greece, Romania, Slovakia and Lithuania who are wallowing in huge amounts of unsustainable debt.

Ripoff Britain

“Because Britain signed up to the EU charter it is obligated to bail out the profligate lazy countries of Europe that wallowed in EU subsidies for ten whole years and cooked the books to gain admission to the single currency. We’re not mentioning any names here, ahem, Greekies. Well, we’ve had ten years of indiscriminate spending, and somebody has to pay back that shit. Step up to the plate, Britain. You idiotic suckers just do everything that you are told to do without question, so we are telling you to pay the f*ck up. I see how every indignity is foisted on your pliant population of sheep, and they lap it up. Please sir, can I have some more, as your masters whip you into submission every day. So Englishers, eat up your cold porridge and your gruel, you owe us more money. Pay up like the good scum that you are,” Mr Lewandowski told the BBC after the meeting at the EU head quarters.

Britain already hands over £16 billion per annum to the EU super state and has been ordered to add to this sum substantially.

“It’s a win win situation for Britain. You get to pay for the poor people to come into your country from Eastern Europe so that they can take your resources, pollute your overcrowded cities, go on unadulturated crime sprees, and clog up your roads with untaxed, unregistered vehicles that are exempt from any British fines or laws. What more do you want?” the EU budget commissioner said whilst grinning like a well fed Cheshire cat.

EU Agrees New Rescue Fund on Rescue Fund on Rescue Fund

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“It’s amazing, we still love the Greeks. They can do anything to the EU. They lied before they entered the EU, they cooked the books. We still love them and we’ll pay as much as we can to their black hole fund purely because they are such loveable characters,” Mr Barroso told the European parliament.

The latest rescue fund is more recent than the previous rescue fund last Tuesday or the one before that two weeks ago.

The EU which is dragging the whole world into a great depression and could bring on the onset of World War III, are determined to introduce another rescue fund that will be the ‘mother of all rescue funds’.

“This rescue fund is going to be the ultimate rescue fund and will solve all of Greece’s problems once and for all,” Nicolas Sarkozy, the French premier told a German TV news program.

What he did not however mention is that he used the exact same words to describe all the other rescue funds that preceded the current rescue fund and probably the rescue funds that will continue into oblivion.

Neutrino Discovery Could Allow Scientists to Travel Back in Time to Tell Einstein to Not bother With His Theories

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“It was only a matter of time innit, we caught up with Albert and his theory. Neutrinos, the subatomic particles travelling faster than the speed of light, prove that time travel is indeed possible and we’re going to rustle up a time machine next week to prove our point,” head physicist at the institute, in Geneva, told the BBC.

The team of scientists are all itching to get back to 1905 Germany to tentatively tell Einstein not to bother with his famous theory of relativity.

“We’ll try and break the news to him lightly I might even take my iPad back there and that should convince him to go back to the patent office in Bern and stay there for the rest of his life,” another scientist quipped.

Moody's in Bad Mood Again

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“Moody’s got up the wrong side of the bed this morning, they just downgraded us to D- and frankly I’m sick of those moody bastards,” CEO for Bank of the US of Fuckin’ A, Arnold McRetch, told CNN.

Companies and institutions are slowly learning to not piss Moody’s off in any way because of its bad temper.

“Shit can flare up any moment. One minute you might be on AA+ then you go get some lunch from Taco Bell, come back to the office and you got yourself a B-,” Ed Herlihy, senior analyst at Grieves Lansdowne Investment Bank told the Financial Times.

There are rumours on Wall Street that Moody’s doesn’t like Mondays either, and usually goes on a downgrading spree first thing Monday morning.

“They come in first thing in the morning and these guys are pissed. They pose moodily around the coffee machine, all glum and angsty. They don’t want to be in the office on Monday morning. They slam down the black coffee, take a few snorts, then start downgrading.” Ed McElratchety, an ex-Moody’s mail man told WKNS radio.

Global Recession Finally Over Let the Good Times Roll

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There were mass street celebrations all over the world including cities like Sidney, Vienna, Phnom Penh and even in London.

Millions of people took to the streets to celebrate the end of the recession.

Banks were happy too, and were giving away unsecured loans to anyone without so much as a form being filled in.

“I walked into a branch of Midland bank and they sat me down on a chair and gave me a loan for £10,000 at a dirty low interest rate and a 130% mortgage. They just said, you can pay it back whenever you want,” Larry Jagger, 25, from Hartlepool, England, told the BBC.

Global stock markets jumped up 46% on Tuesday as the news headlines streamed the glorious announcement.

Not only have the banks opened up again, so have the car manufacturers who are doing buy one get one free deals. Both Ford and GM are giving away brand new SUV’s if you buy a mid size luxury car.

Supermarkets were giving away free food to people in the streets and Apple stores were literally shedding ipods in malls all across the Western world.

Credit card companies all over the world immediately started promoting 0% APR credit cards.

Consumers all over the world rejoiced: “We’re out of the recession. I feel like a black cloud has been lifted from the land and I can breathe again. I can spend, spend, spend, again without the old fear creeping around the corner for awhile. I think I just had a multiple cash orgasm all over the shopping mall,” Dana Kurvinski, 23, from Daytona Beach, Florida told CBS.

Wealthy Travellers Don't Want to Travel Back to Ireland

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“These travellers don’t like travelling. In fact, they’re staying right here on someone’s land and refusing to travel. Maybe they should change their names to campers instead of travellers,” a bemused local from the Dale Farm area in Essex told the BBC.

The local council has been trying to persuade the travellers to carry on travelling again after a long stasis on the farm land.

“These travellers don’t pay any form of taxation in England even though they own houses in Limerick, Ireland, and live off our surrounding areas by stealing from the general population. We are trying to make them travel again, like their name suggests. They should travel back to their houses there and pay their f*cking bills for a change, f*cking lying scroungers,” Bridlington Council’s chief told ITV news.

Six hundred of the so-called travellers all own £300,000 homes registered in the village of Rathkeale, County Limerick, in the west of Ireland.

“While they’re in their illegally encamped dwellings in Essex, England, they do not pay council tax, or any form of taxation, electricity or gas, and they rent out their properties in Ireland,” one of the camp’s insiders has revealed.

The encampment is currently guarded by a group of crusties, who are not anarchists as the mainstream media may call them wrongly, but simply disaffected morons looking for a cause to champion. If they only knew how the so-called travellers are amassing huge fortunes with their parasitical revenue growth system and using them to tout in front of salivating BBC news crews.

David Cameron is a Socialist and Will Never Agree to EU Referendum

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The EU is an insideous diabolical oppressive bully, a communistic fascist demonic entity that swallows whole nations and assimilates them into the evil collective of non-individualism.

Every day the EU comes out with some ridiculous directive that it orders its citizens to obey, and one must obey the evil totalitarian collective or they start bringing out nameless, faceless unelected EU officials with fancy names and large unlimited salaries. These bureaucrats will demand something and if not adhered to they start fining people until their will is imposed.

What has happened to Britain under its membership of the EU?

Britain’s rights have slowly been eroded because it signed up to be a trade partner and political partner but thankfully not part of the failed euro currency.

Britain does have a moat but that moat is slowly being filled and the horrible EU gloop that is crossing the drawbridge threatening thousands of years of history to be wiped out in one fell swoop.

Is this what the British people fought for for thousands of years, to be assimilated into the faceless collectivist f*ck hole that is the EU? To be told what to do by the French and Germans? The French let the Germans walk into Paris without one single shot being fired in WW2. They surrendered to the Germans all too willingly and now they have done the same with the EU. The Thousand Year Reich never died, it was simply retired for awhile but now it has been resurrected and is even more sinister than Hitler’s Germany.

At least with Hitler’s Germany you knew where you stood. The Nazis were a much more obvious face of fascism. The EU may be the same thing as Hitler’s Germany but it is a chameleon and it changes its colours very easily, appearance wise there are no guns and cannons out in the open, but underneath the facade, they do have guns, but prefer to fight for now with economic weaponry.

The future for Britain is under review. David Cameron, a supposed Conservative PM, is actually a socialist who is looking for Britain to enter fully into the EU as a major player.

Within Britain, the Scottish are staunch Europhiles, therefore the destruction that Gordon Brown meted out onto England during his reign can be understood better.

“Gordon Brown disarmed England by crippling it economically. He did so because he wants a weak England to be brought into the communistic collective of the EU and swallowed up whole. One must remember that what Brown did to England was a spectacular feat of destruction that no war with guns could have achieved. He completely ruined England’s economy and it may take them thirty or forty years to try and get out of it, but what do we care, we’re Welsh,” Welsh minister, Paul Evans, told the Welsh Assembly on Friday.

The hierarchy of the EU know that they will not be complete until England is forced to join as a triad, Germany, France and Britain. With Britain stripped of its national status and sovereignty, the EU will be very strong and will possibly supercede America’s waining star.

“The ultimate prize for us is Britain being forced to join the EU. We now have sympathisers like Cameron and Clegg so we will move quickly to make them join,” an unnamed EU official told France’s Le Figaro newspaper.

England is no more, Gordon Brown and his evil ogres made sure of that. And even though, there are a few voices within the socialist coalition calling for a referendum, where the people may actually get a say in getting out of the EU deathstar, it is a fait accompli mes amis, the deal was done many years ago. Cameron is not going to save you, he has already made the Mephistophelean deal to hand over the UK and there is nothing anyone or anything can do about it.

Obama: “Y’all Gonna Be Payin’ Tax Soon”

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There’s a reason why Obama is so popular in Europe because he is now employing deep socialistic methods upon the Americans.

Austerity America

“They have for too long been living the life of Riley over there using up all the world’s resources and not giving anything back. Now they have to pay some tax for what they’re using up, it’s payback time, and now those Yanks might find out what it’s like to have 60% of what you earn taken away in taxation like the Europeans. Obama is doing a wonderful job,” a European parliamentarian told the BBC.

The wealthy of America are mainly white and this is why having Obama telling them to pay more tax adds a certain frissons’ to the proceeding tax-ageddon.

This is what your taxpayer dollars are paying for

Obama knows that making the American rich pay taxation will be unpopular but he will tout it as the only way to get out of the current mess the country is in.

Tax revenues in America are already severely restricted because 47% of the country earns too low an income to even pay federal income taxes.

Buffetization

The rich in America pay less tax than lower middle income workers, and Obama seeks to address the severe imbalance.

“It’s payback time for the rich in America. Obama wants these people to pay their fair share, so they should prepare themselves to part with 50-60% of their annual income. Once the new taxation is implemented, then maybe the huge deficit might feel a slight dent, although the way Obama is spending, this is very doubtful,” a key Revenue Service worker told CBS.

Gordon Brown Wants You to Remember Him Every Day of Your Miserable Life

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“Since I was ousted from my job as PM to the British people they have been dealing with my premiership every day of their miserable lives. I want them to keep on remembering that their every woe and every piece of economic trouble is down to my wastage. I spent your taxpayers money like there was no tomorrow, and I want you to remember that, remember my gurning face as my chin wobbles and a bit of spittle drops onto the microphone. As you, the general populace struggle to survive through the joblessness, the severe cuts, the terrible hourly announcements that you are all doomed, and the realisation that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, remember me, Gordon Brown, I caused all of that,” Mr Brown sniggered.

Gordon Brown reminded everyone in the room that it was because of his policies that Britain was in such a terrible economic mess.

“I tripled the national debt of Britain, I took away their pensions, I sold all the gold at the bottom of the market, I destroyed the army, I took away their jobs, I caused record youth unemployment, I ordered millions of immigrants from poor countries into Britain to clog up the already overloaded system, I allowed their banks to fail, I spent like there was no tomorrow, and you can thank me folks, because there really will be no tomorrow for them,” Brown added.

Mr Brown outlined his plan was to destroy Britain’s wealth completely so that they would have no choice but to fall to the mercy of the EU.

Gordon Brown then went on to talk about his heroes Stalin and Mao, and of how he created one of the the largest Stasi Big Brother societies in the world’s history in the UK — the assembled Chinese delegates all clapped furiously.