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Robert Mugabe Invites David Cameron to Zimbabwe

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“You’ve got the same kind of democracy as we have here in Zimbabwe. You order a halt to an EU referendum and take away the right of the people to vote and I do the same. It’s a wonderful way of doing things, I make the laws, the people have no say and I crush any dissent,” Mr Mugabe told the ZANU-PF Times.

Mr Cameron will go to Zimbabwe to be honoured for his courage in crushing the EU referendum, which means that there will be no vote or debate regarding the EU for another 40 years.

“What I and the Labour party have effectively done is silenced the British people for another forty or fifty years, and of course, by then it will be too late. I and my socialist friends have condemned the UK to be ravaged by further EU totalitarian laws and to be sucked into the maelstrom very soon. We might as well dissolve our parliament, because Brussels has been shown by the cowards who voted against a referendum that Britain is now a defeated former country,” Mr Cameron said, smiling traitorously.

Sarko Tells Cammo to Back Off

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Sarkozy stood on a chair and was able to look David Cameron in the eye as he pointed his fingers at him telling him to back off.

Cameron was surprised by the vicious assault by the miniature EU despot, who has fallen under the fascist spell of the EU so much.

“I’ve never seen Cameron scared before, but it seems the French midget has got more balls than him. Cameron was later seen crying in a corner, as an attendant brought a glass of French sparkling water to him. My guess is, he needed a cognac more than a glass of tepid sparkling water. Poor bastard,” an EU observer at the meeting recalled.

With the EU dangerously close to collapse, the fascistic dream of a Fourth Reich could be over unless the unelected eurocrats come up with another plan to bring the fasci rods even closer than they already are.

The architect of the EU Jean Monnet said: “Europe’s nations should be guided towards the super-state without their people understanding what is happening. This can be accomplished by successive steps each disguised as having an economic purpose, but which will eventually and irreversibly lead to federation.”

It seems that his words are slowly ringing true as the people are excluded from any votes or say in the matter of the EU constitution or laws.

“We, the unelected eurocrats and technicians know best. Please, sit back, surf your Facebook pages and watch your X Fuctor, Come Dancing programs. Do not bother your dumbed down fucktard minds about such trivialities as totalitarian states taking away all of your rights or cleansing re-education camps coming soon in the near future,” a faceless EU politician told France’s Le Figaro newspaper.

Libya to Have Democracy Like Britain – No Referendums

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“We want the Libyan people to embrace democracy like we have in Britain. Our ‘democracy’ involves denying people the vote on important issues like whether our country is sucked into the collectivist totalitarian state of the EU or simply trades with it but does not give up our laws and rights. As you can see, I personally have made sure that the British people are denied this all important vote, and this, my Libyan friends is the type of ‘democracy’ that should be exported to Libya. So ladies and gentlemen, you give us your oil and we’ll give you our ‘democracy’. How about that for a good swap?” Mr Cameron said just after exiting his plane at Tripoli’s airport.

The Prime Minister is on a five day trip with the French PM Nicolas Sarkozy to inspect the conquered oil fields, which will soon have Western oil companies crawling all over them.

The British PM then went on to say: “Let this be a warning to all other nations who deal with the West. We will be your friends when it suits us, and then when we want all of your stuff and not some little deals, we will attack you and kill you. You get into bed with us, and you basically sign your death warrant. Look what happened to Gaddafi, Mubarak and Saddam. They were supported fully by the West, even when some of them were killing their own people, and gassing them. We gave them the weapons and trained their armies. Of course, we gave them inferior weapons but we supported these people when we wanted to use them, once they outlived their usefulness we killed them, then took their oil. In effect, we are just as bad as the tyrants, although I would have to say we’re actually worse, because we pretend to be ‘good’. At least the tyrants were not masquerading under the pretence of goodness like we are.”

Oil reserves in Libya are the largest in Africa and the ninth largest in the world with 41.5 billion barrels.

Libya is considered a highly attractive oil area due to its low cost of oil production (as low as $1 per barrel at some fields), and proximity to European markets.

Here’s to democracy, referendums and oil discovery.

Eurozone Ministers to Discuss How to Prolong Eurozone Turmoil

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“If we can prolong the eurozone holocaust for another ten or twenty years so that the whole world will fall into a massive depression, that would be friggin’ great,” Raus Ratzinger, an unelected eurozone technocrat told German Bild magazine.

As the EU nightmare intensifies, ministers want to increase the pressure so that the unbearable debt burden escalates to such levels that there is a massive implosion shattering all hope of rescue.

“This is our plan. We want to create so much fear, so much pain amongst the people of the EU and the world that they accept anything we throw at them,” another faceless unelected EU official said.

Basketball Loving Sarah Palin Supporting Herman Cain

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“I like my men black and Herman’s got that forwardness thang goin’ on. You know, he’s very similar to a baskeball player I once knew. I can’t wait for him to shoot one in my hoop. I’ll be in the zone defence with my skirt up around my waist, and he’ll come along cherry picking, do a double dribble then put on the McNasty. This teabagger wants to do some teabagging for sure,” a horny Sarah Palin told  Wasilla’s Channel 36 News.

Unfortunately, since the publication of a recent book exposing Mrs Palin’s many skeletons in her closet, she has not been getting much attention from her long suffering husband.

“Todd’s kind of fallen by the sidelines now. But he don’t have half of what Cain got. I’m going to get back to what I do best and that’s shagging everything around me and snorting coke like it was going out of fashion. Coke, cock and guns. Now that sums me up good. Just don’t be asking me geography questions when my heads bobbing up and down in Herman’s tour bus,” Mrs Palin added.

Colonel Gaddafi Fried Chicken Restaurants Shelved

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The Colonel’s special recipe used to be mustard gas, a touch of semtex and a smattering of TNT all packed into a SCUD missile and fired indiscriminately in the direction of a few NATO backed rebels, now it’s just a blood stained rag used to rap around the remains of what used to be the all smiling sunglassed dictator.

Plans for the fast food restaurants with the colonel’s head emblazoned over the logo were found in one of Gaddafi’s many palaces.

The Colonel had a lot of admiration for Colonel Sanders, and he loved fried chicken so much that he would have weekly deliveries of fried chicken buckets to Libya from Kentucky, America.

“I never seen someone like drumsticks and hot wings like that motherfucker, he would eat two buckets with coleslaw, sweetcorn and baked beans. He especially loved the sanitary napkins that would come with the meal. He would always comment on how thoughtful those KFC people were and how he so admired the Colonel’s vision. From one Colonel to another, Gaddafi and Sanders were both poles apart but they both shared a serious love of fried chicken and Condi Rice,” Justin Allinson, Kentucky Fried Chicken’s spokesman told CNN.

With the plans for thousands of Gaddafi Fried Chicken fast food restaurants scuppered, when the Islamic fundamentalists take over Libya, the people may find that they will miss the errant Colonel and his eccentricities.

Traitor Cameron Attends Palace Charged With High Treason

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“We have reason to believe that Mr Cameron, by supporting a remain vote in the EU referendum, is thus adhering to the sovereign’s enemies, giving them aid and comfort, in the realm or elsewhere and moving foreigners to invade the United Kingdom by giving up its sovereignty, freedoms, ability to defend itself and dissolving the power of parliament and the crown to Brussels. Mr Cameron will attend a preliminary hearing at the palace before being moved to the Tower of London where he will be hanged from his neck until dead, then his carcass will be put up on a post in front of the Houses of Parliament,” High Court judge, Lord Justice Giles Higginflintstowe, announced this morning.

Mr Cameron denied he had committed High Treason, but his actions have proved otherwise and he was arrested and detained from Number 10 Downing Street on Thursday morning.

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“He supported and encouraged Britain staying in the unelected communistic fascist entity called the European Union as well as instances of tax avoidance. In other words, he wants Britain to be in that thing and lose all of its abilities to dictate its own laws, monetary policy as well as defence policy. This is tantamount to High Treason and will be treated as such,” a member of the Conservative party told the Daily Telegraph.

Economic Crisis, Riots, Unrest – Welcome to the Next Thirty Years

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The institute has revealed a damning report detailing some horrific plans for the future involving deep economic crisis and civil unrest.

“The populations that survive the coming anarchy and destruction will be very few and to their honour they will be rewarded by the elite scientific experts for their Darwinian sturdiness,” Keith Wallace, a key researcher and expert at the Institute of Population Control in Hampstead, London, wrote in the most recent research paper.

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Excerpts from the report say: “The human race, according to the United Nations has reached its 7 billionth person, and threatens to double in 15 years. This is a profound threat to life on this planet, and this is why it is imperative that the population increase is thwarted as the planet’s resources cannot sustain such locust-like numbers. China, India, Africa and South America, where the poor breed with such gusto are the main culprits to the destruction of the earth. To avert a Malthusian nightmare, and introduce a new scientific world order where religious myths and fairy tales and nationalism are punishable by death, there may have to be a major world war or complete global civil unrest. There are many ways the controllers can whittle down the populations; through pandemics, war and riots. It may be necessary to combine many elements.

“We are gearing up to a final denouement on this wasteful consumerist civilization. The post-consumerist age will adhere to strict scientific principals led by experts, who will build a controlled population from the embers of the wasteland remaining. It sounds like a nightmare situation to anyone who reads this now, but the elite controllers have planned this for many centuries and there is no peaceful way of bringing in the next system without the complete nihilistic destruction of the previous incarnation.They created a system which is sadly defunct and not manageable anymore.

“The world government has come about because the current rulers have become too soft and leave all important decisions to be implemented and designed by experts. They have thus allowed their powers to be usurped by the less lordly experts who will form the next world government.” the report cited.

According to the research institute, the coming society of experts will embrace all eminent men of science and will possess the most “devastating arsenal of weapons known to man.” There will, therefore, be no more war, since opposition to the unscientific would be doomed to immediate failure.

The society of experts will control all propaganda and education and will teach loyalty to the world eco government, making nationalism high treason.

The world government, being an oligarchy, will instil submissiveness into the majority of the population, only leaving initiative, and habit of command to its members.

Population controls will be heavily regulated by the scientific government and the breeding programs will be able to create workers as well as those of the governing class.

Education of the workers will be conducted in a scientific manner engendering a sense docility, industriousness, punctuality, thoughtlessness and contented manner to the ordinary men and women. New technology will probably involve microchipping of the workers at birth or later on, and will ensure that they adhere to the new societies rules. They will be trained mostly outdoors and limited in their education with very little study. Initiative will be discouraged in these children, and insubordination will be scientifically trained out of them.

The manual workers will be fairly happy. The rulers will be successful in making the manual workers foolish and frivolous; work will not be too severe, and there will be endless amusements of a trivial sort. Owing to sterilization, love affairs need not have awkward consequences so long as they are not between a man and woman who are both of them unsterilized. In this way a life of easygoing and frivolous pleasure may be provided for the manual workers, combined of course with a superstitious reverence for the governors instilled in childhood and prolonged by the propaganda to which adults will be exposed.

The governing classes, on the other hand, will be educated to the highest standards utilising state of the art equipment and technology. Their genetic makeup will be altogether different than the ordinary workers as they will have superlative strength of character, intelligence and hold elements of the highest possible ability.

By the use of eugenics, sterilization, nanotechnology and genetic engineering, the world government will create a flawless society of governors and workers and thus enable the scientific dictatorship to flourish.

Politicians today of all parties realise that the populations are becoming harder to control. This is because many are slowly waking up and becoming more aware of how they are being controlled. This form of awareness is supremely dangerous to governments, and in the past, the people could be fooled easily, now, through the internet — not so easily.

As this form of civilization winds down, one must take into account that the coming overt world government will not be constrained by the fake democracy we have now, they will revel in their adoption of a complete all encompassing scientific dictatorship.

Wall Street Stockbrokers Occupy Deserted Field in College Campus

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“We demand our rights to make loads of money and spend it on fast cars, fast women and luxury penthouses,” Larry Silverheimer, 45, a mortgage broker, who earned $16 million last year and paid only $120,000 tax on that, told reporters.

The bankers were flown onto the deserted field via helicopter and their butlers and servants created luxury tents for them to protest from.

“I’m here today to beg the Occupy Wall Street protesters to forgive my excesses. Last year alone I made over $25 million in taxpayer funded bonuses even though I actually lost taxpayers’ bailout money trading. How about that for an amazing turnaround. I was rewarded for failing. Now that’s what I call banking!” Ed Jimsen, 32, a senior banker at Goldman Sachs told the FT.

The assembled bankers want to demand more funds from the Federal Reserve so they can carry on with their luxurious lifestyles.

“The Fed has to pay us some more money because we’ve basically run out of money from the last bailout. We kinda spent it all already. We want the US taxpayers to pay for more of our goodies. Shieet, I have a fleet of Maseratis, Lamborghinis and Ferraris to service, step up to the plate people, y’all owe me,” an angry Billy Batts, 31, senior analyst at J.P. Morgan told a news crew.

The Mean Streets of Wall Street

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“One thing about these protests is that they have been carried out by a fraction of the population. To really make a difference, everyone has to stand up. If all the people who are watching these protesters getting beat upon their heads by truncheons decided to walk out of the comfort of their homes onto the streets, the party would be over for the controllers. Their way of life is threatened by the masses rising up and standing up. They want you to look away, carry on working eighteen hour days so you can pay for their bonuses. This is the cold reality. You are there solely so that they can live a life of luxury, you have to carry on working and paying tax so that they can spend it on whores, limitless expense accounts and everything they want. You, Joe Zero, need to work and kill yourself working so that they can f*ck you over,” a New Yorker, who witnessed the beatings yesterday told NBC.

And what of the protesters who were calling for an Obama second term? Were they not thinking of the $85,000 jewellery that Michelle Obama wears on her wrist, or the fact that Obama himself ordered the police in. Sadly, most of the protesters are children, and do not understand the intricacies of the evil system.

Come, let us play, amongst the truncheons and tasers, there goes another bone cracking and maybe a split skull or two. It’s just another day in Wall Street.

You may lose your kid’s college fund in the market pits in the morning, but he won’t mind, because he’s going to jail for a long time for protesting against the mighty powers that control everything.