“We must never forget the Somme, the muddy grave of so many who died in vain in 1916. On both sides, Allied and German, they will remain in history as victims of one of the most awful conflicts ever fought. No one won the Battle of the Somme, everyone was a loser. Whole towns and villages were wiped out because the British garrisons enlisted all from the same areas. 146,000 Allied soldiers died in the Battle of the Somme. It was a terrible tragedy and should never be repeated in reality. This is why we are doing the battle reenactment today, to show even a fraction of what it was like for those young men to fight and die in such tragic circumstances. To show the horror that those men had to endure in their short lives,” Elliot Mandlebrant, 21, one of the organisers for the battle reenactment told the Sun newspaper.

The trenches have already been built and revellers who have travelled to the field where the Somme will be recreated have prepared themselves for the mud and cold.

“I think it will be an experience. I will never know the utter fear of being ordered to go over the top knowing full well that the German machine guns will cut me and my fellow soldiers down like blades of grass, but to experience the mud will be a small fraction of what those soldiers had to go through,” Sally Tunstable, a student at Durham University told the Times.

There will be no more newspaper pictures of teens jumping around in fields anymore after receiving their GCSE results, because their ‘qualifications’ do not mean a thing.

“This is a great relief to many because it shows the dumbing down of qualifications has created an altogether dumber youth who think they have qualifications when in reality they certainly do not. You can have all the A grades you want in your GCSEs, you might as well make it all up, because it never meant anything to anyone apart from yourself. You think you’re qualified? There has to be a new approach to education where children are taught something that has a purpose and qualification standard that actually tests people instead of giving them top marks for minimal work. The GCSEs doled out to kids like smarties meant absolutely nothing, and due to the nature of the course work, the majority of teachers would help students pass their courses and enable them to be another pass statistic within the failing education system,” a minister working on the new O level project told the BBC today.

The Liberal Democrats, led by Nick Clegg, have vowed to fight the new O level qualifications.

“We plan to fight this at every step. It is imperative that we have a dumbed down population who are unemployable and illiterate. The O level exams are too hard and people will have to actually work to get them. This will mean that there will be more obvious differences in intelligence, as opposed to GCSEs where the whole populace got A grades, now only a small amount of people would get A grades. That is just not fair,” Mr Clegg said, sobbing into a handkerchief during parliament, yesterday.