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Joe Biden to Donate His Brain to Science

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“Aham gonna donate ma brain to science,” Joe Biden revealed at a recent press conference in the White House’s Rose garden. To donate his brain to science, Biden thinks he is helping the medical and scientific industry, however according to scientific researchers nothing could be further than the truth.

Professor Seezors, from Alabama University, explained why his research facility was not exactly excited by Joe Biden’s offer.

“I’m sorry to say this, but what are we going to do with a tiny brain that resembles Swiss cheese? Biden’s brain has got so many holes in it, in truth, there ain’t any brain matter left, plus it has shrunk to the size of a walnut. I mean, we can show visitors what a destroyed brain looks like in a tiny jar, but that’s about it. We don’t need more curiosities around here (pointing at a large formaldehyde filled casket with a deformed human head in it), hell, we got scientific curiosities and anomalies a dime a dozen here.”

A brain scan conducted at the beginning of Joe Biden’s presidency revealed much of the condition of the president.

“I’ve seen more brains at an Instagram Influencer convention in Milwaukee, and that’s sayin’ something,” another professor quipped when asked about Biden’s brain.

It is common knowledge in the White House and Capitol Hill that Joe Biden is completely controlled by policymakers behind the scenes and has never made a decision about anything in the last few years.

Alternative Script For Tarantino Last Film May Never Materialise

A film script that could have been the crowning glory of film-maker Quentin Tarantino’s last ever film will probably never see the light of the cinema screen. The writer of the original script has revealed that the sci-fi film idea “would have delighted Tarantino”.

Speaking to us outside the WME agency offices near London’s Oxford Street, the elusive writer of the script revealed some details about the proposed film.

“Tarantino has delved into pretty much every film genre, but he has not touched science fiction, which with his immaculate approach and talent would be the crowning glory to his career. This is what I have here, it is the most amazing fucking script I have written, but sadly Tarantino will never get to read it, adjust it, play with it, and film it.

“How the fuck do you make your final film to top off the masterpieces you made previously? That’s the 200 million dollar question that no one dares to bring up.”

So why will this so-called ‘amazing’ script never get to Tarantino?

“I’ll tell you fucking why. I’m a nobody. I just got thrown out of the WME offices head fuckin’ first. No one wants to speak to me, and Quentin’s agent is completely inaccessible. When everything, every damn door is closed off to new talent, and new creative ideas, no wonder Hollywood is in such trouble and drowning in morose crap. You see this script, it’s going in the fuckin’ shredder!”

The frustrated writer then walked down the road, forever gone.

EU Stasi Police Shut Down Farage Political Conference in Brussels

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If you ever wanted an example of why there is a serious deficit of democracy in the EU, yesterday a conservative political conference led by Brexiteer Nigel Farage was shut down by anti-democratic EU officials who ordered Woke Soviet-style EU Stasi Police to thwart the conference.

Other political views are not tolerated

Ever closer Soviet Union in the EU is a closely guarded communist concept which is treasured by the unelected members of the EU Commission and democratic conservative conferences set in the heart of the EU led by British Brexiteer Nigel Farage are seen as a serious threat to the federalists and communists who make up the core of the European Union. This is why the EU Stasi Police were sent to halt the conference.

Coutts Stasi EU Cunts
Coutts Stasi EU Ordnungspolizei

“Ve vil not tolerate politicians who have other views that are contrary to our Marxist communist ideology in ze EU. Ve do not tolerate other political ideologies like democracy or conservatism or freedom of speech,” an unelected EU Commission member told the EU parliament on Tuesday.

Closer federal soviet EU union

To create a complete Soviet communist state, further integration of nation states is currently underway. All nations within the EU are to be eviscerated of all national identity and control. The goal is to have a singular area under the EU Soviet flag, where former individual nations have completely given up their sovereignty and governmental control to the EU Commission, much like the former Russian Soviet Union.

Nigel Farage is obviously seen as a major threat to the EU because he might make other countries who are already imprisoned in the EU possibly think of leaving and gaining their freedom from the communists. Obviously this would not be a good thing for the controlling Marxists who detest any form of democracy who are actively trying to build a totalitarian communist regime in the heart of Europe led by unscrupulous unelected elite members of the EU Politburo (EU Commission).

Prince Harry Set to Star as Worzel Gummidge in Hollywood Epic

Netflix has commissioned a new series featuring Prince Harry who will star as a scarecrow called Worzel Gummidge, based on the 1970s original children’s series. According to network insiders, the lucrative deal has already been signed, and Harry is very excited at being chosen for the role.

At a recent Hollywood meet up, the errant prince was ecstatic about the role.

“I’m a scarecrow, see, and I have many different heads. One head is me thinking head, but I lose that one a lot, you know. I particularly like me dumbo head, it suits me fine. All that clever stuff is way above my normal head. Like, I was told by that man over theres, I woulds be paid with two bales of straw, a few twigs, and a big filthy hat with a crusty cow-pat on it for the role. How could I resist?”

Unfortunately for the prince, if Trump wins the upcoming election, Harry might have to put on his exile head, because he could be deported for lying about his past drug use on his visa application. Oops.

The Netflix remake of Worzel Gummidge starring Harry is set to air in August.

Drone Robberies: Coming to Your City Soon?

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Drones can be used for a lot of things, and we have especially seen some innovative things happening with drones in the war fields of Ukraine, but could they be used as a means of mugging people in cities? Drone robberies happening all over cities of the future could be a reality.

Think about it, it makes sense to a criminal. There is a certain element of detached anonymity to the entire affair, as well as being potentially very lucrative, as well as minimising any chance of arrest.

Drones with guns mounted have been around for years, so there is nothing new there at all.

The Bird of Prey is an agile, compact and fully stabilized weapon system for drone platforms, designed to enhance infantry squad lethality beyond its detection and engagement range with stand-off warfare capabilities.

Bird of Prey enables fast and accurate engagement against a low signature enemy in various non-line-of-sight combat activities including urban and force protection scenarios. The lightweight and foldable system is designed to be carried, deployed and operated by a single soldier, fitting into an infantry backpack.

The Bird of Prey drone-mounted system interfaces directly with the gunner, designed for integration with the Battle Management System (BMS) and supports swarm attacks in the future dynamic battlefield. The system supports a range of modular multi-role and multi-caliber armaments while maximizing flight time and mission length.

Bird of Prey features advanced algorithms and autonomous capabilities including integrated autonomous target recognition (ATR) to detect, classify and track targets within the field of view (FOV) day and night.

Let us of course hope this scenario of drone robberies does not ever happen, and if it did, thankfully drone jamming technology would put a stop to that for a while. Technologically savvy criminals would obviously try to get around any such jamming attempts.

Paper Tiger Iran Could be Shut Down in One Week

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Despite developing many different types of drones with stolen plans from Western countries and Western acquired templates sold by China, as well as exuding some form of technological progress, Iran is still a paper tiger, and could be shut down as a functioning country within a week.

The Shi’ite Islamic dictatorship is close to developing atomic armaments, thanks to the apathy and laziness of the Biden administration. Their laziness, and sloppy affairs were witnessed only too well during the disastrous Afghanistan withdrawal which resulted in hundreds of billions worth of US hardware, explosives, weapons being left to the Taliban and other terrorist factions. The Biden administration has appeased the Iranian regime and emboldened them to do as they please without consequence, as well as continue to enrich their uranium program.

The Biden administration renewed a sanctions waiver on March 13 that grants Iran access to $10 billion in previously escrowed funds. The waiver, which allows the Islamic Republic to use electricity revenue from Iraq for budget support and debt repayment.

Of course, appeasement of the Iranian regime started with the Obama administration and is now continuing on with the disastrous Biden regime. Iran’s hostilities substantially increased after the foolish Iran nuclear deal was signed in 2013 by the irresponsibly negligent Obama administration, and they were given $150 billion, not to mention $1.8 billion in cash. Iran then went on a terror spree, funded by the money from Obama’s insane deal, and created hell in Yemen, Syria, Lebanon, Afghanistan and Iraq. Under Trump, none of this nonsense was allowed to occur, but Trump must be discounted at all times because he is a pariah in the eyes of the controlling socialist factions in America and the Western World.

tehran iran missiles2

Wishing upon apocalypse

Khameini and many of the Iranian hierarchy have apocalyptic beliefs rooted in Shi’ite Islamic scripture. The Hidden – or Twelfth – Imam plays a dominant role in one specific form of Shi’ite Islamic theology, called “Twelverism,” which happens to be the primary belief system of Iran’s leadership. There is a messianic belief that at the end of days, the Hidden Imam will appear in the midst of a violent apocalyptic scenario played out on a battleground stained with infidels’ blood. In other words, the Iranian Mullah’s welcome their own destruction, as long as they take others with them (specifically Israel).

tehran iran missiles3

Coordinated mass strikes

Essentially, disabling Iran’s ability to function can be achieved in a number of steps. First, all communications, utilities, power, water, and transport centres should be destroyed beyond immediate repair. All military sites should be liquidated, including underground facilities utilising bunker buster bombs. All uranium enrichment and nuclear sites should be destroyed. All airports, runways, and shipping ports should be destroyed. All oil refinery and processing plants should be completely destroyed. All governmental, religious facilities should be destroyed, along with all media facilities.

If there are attempts to block the Straits of Hormuz, the Iranian naval vessels should be eliminated, as all other Iranian military movement that is attempted within or without the country. Iranian proxies in Lebanon, Iraq and Syria should be destroyed with extreme prejudice so they are no longer a threat to anyone.

Coordinated missile strikes would be conducted on a 24-hour basis until the mission is complete.

Unfortunately, this is the only way to deal with an entity that has vowed to completely wipe an entire nation and its people from the earth.

It is hoped that after the mission is complete, the people of Iran will embrace their freedom from the fascist religious extremist Mullahs, but ultimately that is up to them. If they repeat their allegiance to the insane regime of Mullahs, then they will be taken back once again with other strikes until they eventually realise the futility of their ways.

Adam Sandler Does Have an Iconic Style. Click Here to Learn Why it Stands Out

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Adam Sandler’s style is as distinctive as his comedic repertoire. It’s one of the most talked about aspects of him, after his films. He has an unapologetically relaxed vibe that often challenges conventional fashion norms.

Known for his comfort-first approach, Sandler’s wardrobe choices speak to his personality: laid-back, authentic, and occasionally eccentric.

Read on for more about Adam Sandler’s iconic style.

Bright Clothing

Adam Sandler’s wardrobe is a vibrant palette – that’s one way of putting it. He likes floral shirts, plain bright shirts, or anything that shows some colour.

His affinity for bright clothing isn’t about standing out. It’s about making a statement that personal style should be an extension of your personality. And we think it’s that he literally doesn’t care what people think.

He has enough money not to care, anyway. Sandler’s choice of radiant hues and unexpected colour combinations breaks the monotony of traditional menswear. His fearless use of colour challenges conventional style norms, and people definitely do talk about it.

Los Angeles Premiere Of Netflix's 'Murder Mystery 2 Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston arrive at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Netflix’s ‘Murder Mystery 2’ held at the Regency Village Theatre on March 28, 2023 in Westwood, Los Angeles, California, United States.

Oversized Clothing

He loves oversized clothing – it’s pretty much about the only thing you’ll see him in. His preference for roomy hoodies, spacious t-shirts, and baggy shorts shows his desire for ease and authenticity. And we can guarantee he doesn’t spend much money on them. You could buy wholesale hoodies from retailers like Wordans and spend as much as Adam Sandler probably does.

Sandler has helped popularise a more relaxed approach to menswear that has gained traction among celebrities and in everyday fashion.

His Footwear

Murder Mystery Premiere - Los Angeles, USA Adam SandlerAdam Sandler’s footwear is as iconic as everything else he wears – it’s usually always basketball trainers to match his basketball shorts and oversized tee. He often opts for shoes that blend comfort with a touch of flair.

His willingness to mix traditional and modern elements – like wearing classic sneakers with a high-end suit – shows a disregard for the rigid fashion rules of Hollywood. Sandler’s footwear choices encourage a personal style that values individual comfort and self-expression.

Shorts 24/7

Adam Sandler’s nearly exclusive use of shorts as a staple in his wardrobe – and we love it, but Jennifer Aniston doesn’t. She’s been in many interviews, with Sandler and alone, talking about his constant wearing of shorts and oversized clothing. And it would seem that, regardless of the season or setting, he’ll wear them anyway.

His preference for shorts, from basic basketball shorts to more tailored varieties, shows his commitment to what feels best for him rather than succumbing to external fashion pressures. He has to be one of the only celebrities who hasn’t succumbed to Hollywood.

This choice has defined his personal style and challenged the prevailing norms about how and how to wear shorts. By doing this, Sandler has redefined casual comfort.

Adam Sandler’s fashion sense is as unique as his career in comedy – unexpected, influential, and deeply personal. He mixes comfort with unexpected style choices and makes it work for him. He continues to be an icon in absolutely everything he does. He was recently spotted in London with his famous large basketball shorts and a polo t-shirt playing basketball with random kids – he’ll never change!

Labour Darling Angela Rayner Talks About Her Luxury Properties

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“I just had the best orgasm of my life on my plush new luxury bed,” Angela Rayner, Labour’s future Deputy Prime Minister, revealed as she sighed with exhaustion. The ginger growler has been hard at work in one of her many luxurious properties which she owns. The steamed up windows in her bedroom look outwards across an idyllic Yorkshire scene that would make J.B Priestley squeal with delight and a glorious pungent yet sweet smell permeates the room, suggesting something passionate certainly did just occur in this place.

No one knows how many luxury properties or mansions Rayner owns, or how she acquired such a portfolio. Could she have done a Mandelson, or a Blair? These Labour class warriors are rather partial to acquiring their material wealth, it seems. Champagne socialism is of course completely denied by these Labourite ‘champions’ of the working class.

What about Labour leader, Keir Starmer? Well, thankfully for Angela Rayner, he is keeping schtum and not asking any questions despite once being a ‘top’ lawyer.

“If it weren’t for that Tory scum hag Maggie Thatcher, and her 25% discount right to buy, I would not be on this wonderful property portfolio ladder. Thank you, Maggie. Selling that for a good profit, buying this for a good rental income, and all the others I own in Manchester,” a visibly flushed Rayner revealed.

Naturally, like Beergate, and all the other stuff, Labour ministers are immune to any sort of prosecution or investigation by the police unlike their counterparts the Tories who get police attention at the sniff of a fart.

A salute to the hypocrites and champagne socialists of the Labour Party who are now set to win the next election by a massive landslide.

Dedicated to Satire But Threats of Violence May Force Us to Close

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Here at the Daily Squib we are truly dedicated to our meracious approach to satire, but the threats of violence against our writers has taken a toll, and we may be forced to shut down in the future. The increase in levels of threats over the years mainly coming from totalitarian regimes like Russia, China and N. Korea could cause us to shut down.

We are used to being cancelled, and threatened by certain unscrupulous parasitical companies from the EU, but the violent threats from Russia, especially after the Ukraine invasion, have at some times been quite scary.

We will not repeat some of the horrendous threats we receive here because they are too horrific to publicise.

Our plight has been picked up by the Sun Newspaper, and we are thankful to them for their reporting of the situation. Our jokey satire story about Vladimir Putin having a micro-penis was the catalyst for much of the vitriol received, which we traced back to Russia.

These are sad times for satirists, especially those who specialise in Juvenalian satire like the Squib, where authoritarian and totalitarian regimes can attempt to affect our ability to continue on. Satire and comedy used to be once upon a time protected genres, but it seems now these genres are being threatened by wokism, cancel culture, and violent threats.

We however do not give up easily, despite not getting any support or any help from anyone. We also do not wish to revel in some form of herostratic fame. Our only desire is to continue to write satire, and wish anyone else who thinks about delving into this literary genre to do so as well, without fear of violence and punishment. Under the current climate, there will probably be no desire to pursue the field of real satire and the old satirists will all eventually disappear under the graveolent dolorous mire, uttering a final Wilhelm scream into the cold darkness.

The Daily Squib fights for Justice, Freedom and Democracy.

Once Again the Drums of War Beat Louder – But is Anyone Listening?

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Numerous times the Daily Squib prophesy of 2011 has shown to be coming closer but this time we can see it is almost upon us, yet many people and governments are blind to what is happening. The West is caught in a stupor, caught dumbfounded in the headlights as they flounder to respond to the aggressive and bold stances of our enemies. Unfortunately, under weak leaders like Obama, May, Cameron, Biden — pariah nations like China, Russia, N. Korea, Afghanistan, Syria and Iran have been allowed to grow their military forces, and to do as they please. The drums of war beat louder and louder.

The Daily Squib prophesises through satire, and thus we accurately predict the future, whether we like it or not. The future can be deemed as good or bad in any circumstance, for example a global war can be seen ultimately as a time of change from old to new, a transition utilising positive destruction. Alternatively, it can be seen as a time of great suffering and an awful cost to humanity/environment/wildlife.

In every analysis of any action, there is either good or bad, or really good, or really bad. Everything of course involves semantics and different interpretations from multiple angles and from different people.

In our second 2018 spoof Kissinger interview, we utilised this satirical format to illustrate the plan for the future, and since Kissinger’s death it is strangely becoming more prevalent in the world stage, especially with Iran’s attack on Israel last night.

In our last conversation I spoke of the key to war. This key is Iran, and its catalyst was Iraq and Syria. One must remember that a conflict with Iran is effectively a conflict with Russia and China, and soon they will enter the fray, as was prophesied. We, the United States have been baiting the Russians and Chinese for some time, and slowly they are getting the message. They will be forced to make their move sooner than later. The supreme land of Eretz Ha’Avot, our motherland, our home will fight with all its might now to cleanse the Middle East of threats to Israel. This is the time to cut out the tumour that has haunted us for so long, and Bibi, my protégé, will take no prisoners.

The first spoof Kissinger satirical interview of 2011 created the base framework for the accurate prediction, and much of what we postulated and predicted is coming into fruition right now and further into the future.

The United States is baiting China and Russia, and the final nail in the coffin will be Iran, which is, of course, the main target of Israel. We have allowed China to increase their military strength and Russia to recover from Sovietization, to give them a false sense of bravado, this will create an all together faster demise for them. We’re like the sharp shooter daring the noob to pick up the gun, and when they try, it’s bang bang. The coming war will be so severe that only one superpower can win, and that’s us folks. This is why the EU is in such a hurry to form a complete superstate because they know what is coming, and to survive, Europe will have to be one whole cohesive state. Their urgency tells me that they know full well that the big showdown is upon us.

Iran, the Straits of Hormuz, and Israel are the key to this explosive mix of geopolitical, religious, diorama, all of these events link globally.

It is just that last stepping stone, i.e. Iran which will really tip the balance. How long can China and Russia stand by and watch America clean up? The great Russian bear and Chinese sickle will be roused from their slumber and this is when Israel will have to fight with all its might…

We personally do not want any of this, but we were presented by these premonitions and thought we would publish them at the time as a warning, as an aid for those who also maybe may have felt something was afoot. If you had been preparing since 2011 as a nation, then maybe you will survive. If you had been preparing as an individual or family, then maybe you will survive what comes.

Satire is a powerful and fearful tool utilised throughout history and must never be denigrated or dismissed because in essence it is a magical literary force with an intricacy that cannot be defined with ease, and should thus be respected for its divine power to sometimes accurately foresee the future.