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Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

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Anyone who votes for rat Sadiq Khan for a third term as Mayor of London is a masochistic stupid moronic turd, but with inevitable idiocy, the filthy rat will probably be re-elected because London is a ruined capital city itself populated by rats.

“I will impose a ULEZ increase in daily charges and fines. I will turn a blind eye to the violent crime in every London street. I will introduce a pay-per-mile scheme from ULEZ. I will make your lives a daily fucking misery with insane transport costs, insane council tax hikes, insane levels of useless bureaucracy, and we need more shoplifting, burglaries, muggings and zombie knife stabbings. Vote for me, so I can sit in my office and receive a huge salary to do fuck all!” Khan told a London Assembly group on Friday.

Rat

Under Sadiq Khan crime on the London Underground has risen by 75%, and last year alone knife crime rose by 20% in the desecrated capital city. Burglaries and mugging have increased by over 65%. Shoplifting has increased by 45%.

Under the vile rat rule of Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London you will be lucky to only get three or four stabbings in your local area every week, and if you yourself receive a massive zombie knife plunged into your liver whilst walking to your local shop to get some eggs, count yourself fucking lucky, you won’t have to live another awful day in London under the incompetent apathetic diabolical mayoral reign of rat Sadiq Khan.

MI5 20 Years Too Late On Chinese Espionage at UK Universities?

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Intellectual property and research secrets have been plundered by China for decades at Britain’s universities, but it seems UK’s intelligence services like MI5 are only acting on the threat now. Is this a little too late?

The authoritarian and brutal communist Chinese government is attempting to become the world’s greatest superpower through predatory lending and business practices, systematised theft of intellectual property, and flagrant cyber intrusions.

China’s efforts target businesses, academic institutions, researchers, lawmakers, and the general public and will require a whole-of-society response, but the UK is severely compromised already and is too late to the party.

Chinese agents have even infiltrated parliament, and many universities, as well as sensitive military related private sector companies within the UK. The government and the private sector must commit to working together to better understand and counter the threat.

China cannot innovate itself, therefore stealing other people’s hard work and innovation is the de facto normal practice employed by the ruthless CCP regime and its vast network of spies and hackers.

Confucius Trojan Horse

Confucius Institutes on 30 university campuses across the country pose a serious threat to UK security. The institutes are funded by the Chinese government to promote its language and culture, but are increasingly seen as Trojan horses for spreading Communist Party influence and monitoring Chinese students studying abroad.

Universities are wary of sticking their necks out and closing their own institutes, because it might jeopardise broader research collaboration and lucrative student flows from China,

Universities’ reliance on overseas funding thus leaves them open to being “influenced, exploited, or even coerced” by foreign powers.

Today, MI5 has finally got round to warning universities they could have to bolster their security in a bid to stop spies from accessing crucial research.

Ken McCallum, the MI5 director general, and National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC) chief Felicity Oswald, briefed leaders from 24 top universities on the threat posed by foreign states.

A little too late for the lax security services. The Chinese are no doubt laughing, as they have already stolen vast amounts of crucial data from UK institutions, and continue to do so with impunity.

Slot Machine: 7 Tactics of Increasing the Chances of Winning Slot Games

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Slot machines, also known as online fruit machines, are the most thrilling and popular game to play in a modern online casino. This is because none of your gameplay will affect your odds of winning. Slot machines are purely random, and they are a blend of understanding the strategies behind every spin and timing. Understanding the right strategies to apply while playing fruit machine can significantly improve your odds of winning. This guide gives seven proven strategies that can help you brush up your chances of winning on slot machines.

1. Pick a reliable online casino

The first tactic of increasing your chances of winning a slot machine is choosing a reliable, trustworthy and license online casino uk. If you settle for a rogue casino, you risk losing your money and the chances of winning big. Start by playing in reputable online casinos that offer better rewards, has a 24/7 customer support and is known for offering fair games.

2. Learn how slot machines work

Slot MachineBefore you jump into the exciting part of the slot, “making real money,” it is essential you understand the game’s basics and slot mechanics. Each device is powered by a different random number generator to guarantee that every spin is independent and random from the previous spin. This means it’s a game of chance; you can only improve your odds of winning but cannot predict when you’ll hit the jackpot.

3. Pick the right slot machine

Keep in mind that all slot machines are not designed the same. Pick a machine that aligns with your budget and your gaming style to make the game more enjoyable. Choosing a fruit machine that you enjoy playing with increases your chances of winning because it is easy to learn new tips, adapt to them, and have fun while making real money.

4. Practice free demos

Practice! Practice! Makes perfect! Before you start wagering with real money, make sure you practice on demo mode until you are certain and comfortable of betting with real money. Playing on demo mode gives you a concept of slots volatility rate, playing styles, and it also unlocks slot secrets that will be helpful when you gamble with money.

5. Identify a high RTP rate

Return to player is a pivotal factor that majorly determines your chances of winning a slot game. RTP is a percentage that indicates how much money or the total bets you are likely to get back from a casino. The higher the RTP, the higher the return rates of your wager.

6. Take advantage of slot machine bonuses

Taking advantage of slot bonuses is key if you intend to unlock a free spin, win a jackpot, increase your play time, and are a great deal to intensify your winnings. Be on the lookout, as most bonuses and promotions come with special wagering requirements that must be met before a bonus is awarded.

7. Manage your bankroll wisely

One of the best strategies for winning in a fruit machine is betting responsibly and knowing when to quit. Set a reasonable budget for your slot gaming session, strictly stick to it, and avoid wagering more than you can afford to lose. Additionally, if you are on a losing edge, consider quitting and trying another day, and if you’ve won a rational amount, consider cashing it out rather than risking losing it.

If you are looking to become a constant winner and a slot enthusiast, this guide can help. It gives seven nuggets of wisdom to help you increase your chances of winning and reduce your chances of losing. Slot machines are not just about pure lack. They are about gambling responsibly, making smart choices, understanding the mechanics, and planning strategically.

Meghan Markle Sends Pint of Milk to 50 Celebrities

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“I like to milk things. I milk and milk and milk until there’s nothing left. Then I milk more, just for those dry crusty teats to give up just a few drops more of milk,” Meghan Markle revealed to Hollywood Week magazine.

Markle’s interest in milking may also extend to British royal matters, which involves a lot of milking as well.

“If I hadn’t snatched and ensnared that certain dumbo royal prize, I could not have performed so much milking. Thank Lucifer for dumb people, eh. The sheer amount of milking and milking has been extortionate, and I should know because now I’m drinking the milk of my endeavours. Netflix, Spotify, shopping blogs, branding my own kids, and of course the huge floppy milk filled bulbous teat of the American people. I’m milking the American public as if they were an overloaded heifer flopping around in a field of stupidity. They are so easy to milk because they all adore me so much. Silly fools!”

The lucky 50 celebrities who all received a pint of milk personally milked by Meghan Markle all showed their gratitude on social media.

One US celebrity wrote: “It sort of tastes like arse milk, or the curdled strainings of clotted yellow liquid after leaving a carton of bubbling, frothy milk on a piping hot radiator for four hours. The question is, how long can Meghan milk the royal cow for?”

Illegal Migrant: “I want to go to Rwanda”

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An illegal migrant from Bangladesh who just came across the English Channel in a rubber dinghy escorted by the French Navy reveals his motivation.

“Merci beaucoup my French friends. I am now in the Britain, and I demand to be put up in a 4-star hotel and given free money.”

The migrant is then told that he is going to Rwanda by a government immigration official.

Safari holiday of a lifetime

“Yes, that is no problem. I go to Rwanda is holiday for me. Giraffe, zebra, gorilla! After £1.8 million free holiday, I come back to France, and they help me come to UK again. By that time, your communist Labour Party will be in charge, and they will allow me in. It’s a win-win situation.”

It seems that the gimmicky £1.8 million trips to Rwanda are certainly no deterrent to any of the economic migrants coming from France.

 

Fly Sunak Airways One Way to Rwanda

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Eager for election, unelected autocrat Rishi Sunak has unveiled ‘Sunak Airways’ where illegal immigrants who crossed the Channel in rubber dinghies will be given a one-way ticket to Rwanda at a cost of £1.8 million per immigrant. Fly Sunak Airways One Way to Rwanda – is the new slogan.

In a move that left many scratching their heads and others rolling on the floor laughing, the UK government’s plan to tackle immigration: shipping illegal immigrants off to Rwanda at the bargain price of £1.8 million per ticket could cost over £4.8 billion all together. Yes, you heard that right. For the low, low cost of a small fortune, you too can send your unwanted migrants on a one-way trip to the heart of Africa.

Fly Sunak Airways One Way to Rwanda

In what can only be described as a stroke of bureaucratic genius or a Monty Python sketch gone awry, Tory officials have touted this as the solution to all of Britain’s immigration woes. Forget border patrols, forget detention centres, forget about actually stopping the blasted boats crossing the Channel.

The Daily Squib even suggested the boats should be towed back to France, but that was summarily ignored, because it would take actual guts and a pair of swinging bollocks to achieve.

Now, you might be wondering what exactly does Rwanda have to do with all of this? Well, apparently someone in Whitehall looked at a map, closed their eyes, and pointed to a random country, and Rwanda was the lucky winner. But fear not, dear taxpayers, because the government assures us that Rwanda is a perfectly lovely destination. I mean, who wouldn’t want to trade dreary crime-ridden shithole London, or a 5-star luxury hotel room in Mayfair for the lush jungles of Rwanda, right?

Imagine what someone could do with £1.8 million?

In a press conference that left journalists struggling to stifle their laughter, Home Secretary James Cleverly defended the plan, declaring, “This is a bold and innovative solution to a complex problem. Besides, have you seen the views in Rwanda? Simply breathtaking!”

Meanwhile, the residents of Rwanda are scratching their heads, wondering why they’re suddenly being inundated with a flood of confused illegal migrants wearing shell suits and complaining about the lack of 5-star hotel treatment and free money to spend on young English prostitutes.

The House of Lords have passed the bill, now it’s up to the ECHR and UN courts to thwart the deal.

Putin Appeaser Marjorie Taylor Greene to Move to Russia

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If this were 1939, Marjorie Taylor Greene would be appeasing Hitler’s invasion of Poland. It is the year 2024 and Marjorie Taylor Greene is appeasing Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. There is no difference to the two incidents, but for some reason Greene cannot see that.

The US House of Representatives has approved sending $60.8bn (£49bn) in foreign aid to Ukraine, and Marj is very fucking angry.

“I have no understanding of geopolitics or war”

“Why the hell are we sending money to Ukraine to stop the tyrant Vladimir Putin conquering Ukraine and then continuing to sweep through Europe? I am completely blind and ignorant to this. That’s it! I’m going to go and live in Russia just to make a point and sulk!”

Just because the Russians are generally white Christian Orthodox, it does not mean that the West should not try to stop them invading and laying waste to other white Christian Orthodox countries and endangering the entire continent of Europe. But, we are dealing with deranged Republican Christian Evangelists who actually believe in literal interpretations of the bible.

russian soviet apartments
Millions of Russians still live in run-down decrepit Soviet apartments.

“I have bought a flat in some beat-up former soviet block of flats, bang in the middle of Moscow. I may even join the Russian army, so I can go and fight against Ukraine and the West. If the Russian people were brown, and believed in another religion, then it would be a different story. Yes, I am a fucking racist deranged nut job, but I am a Christian and that’s what counts!” Greene shouted loudly on Capitol Hill.

SEO for Dummies: 4 Easy Ways to Improve

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If you’re inexperienced when it comes to SEO, don’t worry, a lot of people are! Fortunately, increasing traffic to your website is simpler than you might imagine. Keep reading to learn five easy ways to up your SEO game, even if you’re just starting out and getting to know the basics of how it all works.

Improve your rankings, boost your numbers, and watch how everything else starts falling into place.

Make Yourself Seen

pexels-damien-lusson-160123991-10787852SEO is all about being seen online, and there are a few ways you can make this happen.

Websites that link to yours are called backlinks. These links bolster your website’s popularity and credibility in the eyes of search engines. Essentially, backlinks can be super valuable because they improve your website’s exposure and make you look like more of an authority.

Many newbies (and even professionals) find it helpful to work with an agency to help them get the best results. If you’re in Manchester and looking for a good local SEO agency, Dark Horse is a great option.

Finding the Right Words

pexels-olia-danilevich-8145247 (1)What you type into a search engine when you’re looking for some information is known as a keyword, and this is the foundation of how SEO works.

You need to figure out what keywords will lead your audience to your website, and try to include them in all your text in the most natural way possible. You can use various tools and software to help you find relevant and useful (but not too competitive) keywords. You’ll want to add those keywords into your website content as much as possible without looking forced or fake.

Boost Your Page’s Appearance

Your online audience will decide what to click on based on factors like the titles and meta descriptions of their search results. This means that your title needs to be descriptive, enticing, and contain your primary keyword.

Properly describing your page and its contents in a way that entices your readers to click is essential. This is why, on top of a relevant title, you also need to summarize your page’s content and why someone would want to visit it, using around 150 characters, and keep your content well-structured and organized for the benefit of both the search engines and your audience!

Content is King

pexels-olia-danilevich-8145258Finally, remember to make content that people can actually use. Write blog posts, record video content, or post images that will benefit your audience in some way that is connected to your keywords.

This is important because you don’t just want people to click on your site, you want them to actually stay there. You need to make use of keywords, but remember that the needs of your audience should always come first, and your content needs to be relevant, useful, and engaging. Working with a good writer is essential if you want your tactics to stick.

Aligning your SEO efforts with genuinely good content can be a fine balancing act, but the results will be worth the thought you put into it.

Vote For a Socialist Sunak High Tax Nanny Big State or a Socialist Starmer High Tax Nanny Big State?

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The current socialist Sunak high tax nanny big state that meddles into every facet of the highly taxed populace and is going around banning everything with a communistic authoritarian fervour is a disgrace to the tenets of freedom and liberty as well as democracy.

For a start, no one voted for this fucking Marxist cunt Rishi Sunak in the first place. He is an unelected number crunching communist from India who was put into power by god knows who. We will probably never know where this fucker came from?

As for Labour, the incoming socialist Starmer high tax nanny big state will no doubt increase the Marxism levels within government and start banning anything that’s a bit fun in the country, just like the socialist Tory government are doing.

Every single day is a struggle living under a socialist regime of authoritarian big state diktats similar to the EU Commission rules and regulations that we were meant to have left behind when we supposedly left the fucking EU.

There is little or no distinction between the high tax nanny big state two leaders or parties in socialist policy and authoritarian meddling. Conservatism and Libertarianism have been completely eviscerated and liquidated from within the UK parliamentary system.

So, what does the voter do in this horrid situation?

Well, thankfully there are choices available to the plebiscite:

  1. Do not vote
  2. Vote but spoil your ballot in protest
  3. Leave the country and never come back again because it’s fucked
  4. Vote for the Reform Party

Beyond Satire: Jews Could Be Arrested For Looking Jewish

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A Jewish man was threatened with arrest at a recent Palestinian protest in the capital city. Have the goyim gone mad? What the fuck is this shanda? Jews could be arrested for looking Jewish? As always, there are many sides to this episode, which we are truly too lazy to delve into. Like, do your own research. Here is a link to the incident as reported by ye olde Daily Telegraph: Link

Perhaps, we can illustrate this story from another time, in another place and by genius writer of funny stuff, Larry David, when things were a little more jocular and not so fucking serious between the Israelis and Palestinians. Of course, sentiment has sort of shifted since then, and there are a lot of fractured opinions on both sides.

The Larry David Palestinian Chicken episode is however thick in this story, where Larry gets to score with a Palestinian chick in a Palestinian chicken restaurant when he stops his friend going to the restaurant wearing a Yarmulka. “What is this, the raid on Entebbe?”

Things may have been way different in London if Palestinian chicken was involved as well as some hot Palestinian women. Maybe this is the key to eventual peace between the two people in the Middle East. Maybe the policeman who stopped that Jewish man from crossing the street because he looked too Jewish had some Palestinian chicken at home along with a curvy Palestinian minx? At the end of the day, though, should anyone be stopped from crossing a road in a public place because they look like they are part of a particular ethnic group? Jews could be arrested for looking Jewish, Arabs could be arrested for looking too Arabic, etc.