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Which Countries Are Dating Most Using Online Apps?

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Which Countries Are Dating Most Using Online Apps?

Getting your leg over is as old as human evolution, but dating is now even easier than the days of the caveman because you don’t even have to get out of your cave and bonk your prospective lover on the head with a club any more, today, it’s just a case of flicking through an online dating app on your phone, et voila, you’re in like Flynn.

Going all the way back to 1200 BCE, and the glorious ancient Egyptian civilization, marriages were organised affairs, however when it came to romance and sex, there were literally no taboos. We can find evidence of some form of dating in the Chester Beatty Papyrus I where the male poet extols the virtues of his ‘sister’ (women were commonly referred to as ‘sister’).

My sister is unique – no one can rival her, for she is the most beautiful woman alive. Look, she is like Sirius, which marks the beginning of a good year. She radiates perfection and glows with health. The glance of her eye is gorgeous. Her lips speak sweetly, and not one word too many. Long-necked and milky breasted she is, her hair the colour of pure lapis. Gold is nothing compared to her arms and her fingers are like lotus flowers. Her buttocks are full but her waist is narrow. As for her thighs – they only add to her beauty (Lewis, 203).

The Romans observed obedience to the paterfamilias, where marriage was also arranged by the family, however in Roman society, especially the upper classes, this arrangement did not stop a lot of clandestine dating to go on, in fact it was often encouraged. Men and women alike often had many lovers even though they were married. One only has to refer to The Art of Love Ars Amatoria by Ovid (43 BC – 17) to learn about the intricacies of the Roman dating scene.

Ancient graffiti from Pompeii reveals quite a modern take on dating that many women today may even feel is still true.

The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian.

Funnily enough, satire was involved in the earliest personal ads in Britain, published by a London magazine the Mercurius Fumigosus in 1660. Obviously a subject of much amusement, one particular ad is supposedly penned by a “worthy, plump, fresh, free, and willing Widdow liveth near the Carpenrer in Flowre and Dean street near Spittle-Fields”, imploring: “any man that is Able to labour in her Corporation”.

In America, The New-England Courant, by brothers James and Benjamin Franklin, printed a satirical marriage ad on its front page on April 13, 1722, ridiculing those who married for money.

Our modern internet dating era is just an extension of the many matrimonial agencies that exploded in popularity in the 1700s.

Now we have so many dating apps that the choice is almost infinite, from the 2003 MySpace, to Tinder, Badoo(2006) and Hinge of 2012. By 2018, Tinder boasted over 50 million users in 190 countries, while the Russian founded Badoo excelled with over 500 million users worldwide. In 2016 it was the most-downloaded dating app in 21 countries.

Thanks to extensive research from Betway online casino, we find the most popular dating apps across the world and reveal the countries in which you are most likely to find love.

What are the world’s most popular dating apps?

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If you want an online date, steer clear of Asia, with only nine of 41 countries in the continent having a dating app rank in the top 100.

Naturally, South America, where a lot of amor goes on, had the highest ratio of dating apps in the world. The average ranking of the top dating app among the 12 South American countries researched was 68.5 – higher than any other continent. Bolivia came out top with some serious dating app action, so it’s time to book a flight there.

In Europe, the Germans were the highest number of users of dating apps, with Tinder coming in at 55 in their app store.

The global disparity in popularity of online dating apps possibly reflects many different variables, like cultural differences and differing sexual habits as well as the ratio of youth in particular nations.

Whatever your location, or cultural sensibilities, on the globe — keep swiping!

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WW3 Update: Baiting the Bear in 2021 For a 2014 Problem

Paddy Mulligatawny
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WW3 Update: Baiting the Bear in 2021 For a 2014 Problem

The Russian bear may seem to be in hibernation in its cave most of the time, but sometimes it wakes up and strikes out with ferocity.

Vladimir Putin may smile as he pours you another cup of tea, but he knows very well that the polonium he infused the tea with will kick in sooner than later.

As for naval skirmishes in the Crimean Peninsula, things are heating up very nicely, and the Russian deputy foreign minister Sergey Ryabkov has warned any Western ship nearing the illegally annexed Crimean zone that they will receive swift fire if warnings are not heeded.

The Russians illegally occupied the Ukrainian territory during the weak rule of Obama in 2014. At the time, president Obama just stood and watched as Russian forces in balaclavas simply walked into the Crimea taking it with minimal resistance.

As of today, no Western nation recognises the Crimea as Russian, therefore the Black Sea waters close to the annexed zone are not recognised as well.

Testing the waters is a perfectly acceptable tactic, and there are claims that HMS Defender, a type 45 destroyer, was fired upon yesterday, although denied by the British, it seems the 2014 annexation of the Crimea will be a long-lasting thorn in the West’s side. If only Obama had heeded the large amounts of intelligence garnered before the Russian invasion in 2014, and increased the military presence, thus stopping the Russians from their steal, the shit would not be bubbling up now in 2021.

If WW3 starts soon, blame lazy Obama.

Dumbo Harry: “I am Not Living in a Fantasy Land”

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Dumbo Harry: “I am Not Living in a Fantasy Land”

Earl of Dumbo, former prince, Harry, may now be just another celebrity, but he has emphatically denied living in a fantasy world.

“When I spoke to Doprah I told the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My dad cut me off completely of financial aid when I left Britain. He was only paying my £5 million when I was used to receiving £10 million a month. That’s not good enough for me or Meghan, and she had a huge hissy fit over it. Meghan told me to shame papa on the Doprah show whilst we plied the show with more lies…ahem…I mean truths! Money grows on trees, right?”

Amongst the many lies and half-truths spilled on the Doprah interview, were the usual crap about Archie being denied princedom for some reason or rather, being married twice, and other petty grievances that people who do not receive vast sums of money for doing nothing could not comprehend.

What does prince Harry and Meghan do exactly apart from expel vast sums of carbon emissions every year with their extensive private jet travel itinerary and other emission busting nonsense? If living in an extensive 16-bathroom McMansion is not enough of an insult, what the fuck is?

Being the self-proclaimed saviours of the earth with their constant nonsensical lectures is obviously not enough.

What happened to their Spotify show that was meant to change global consciousness?

As for the awful saccharin puerile illiterate book written by Meghan, insider publisher knowledge reveals that the book was in fact purchased in its thousands by Meghan Markle’s team, so it would top the New York bestseller list. That’s the only way it could get to that level, simply because no sane person on the planet would buy that book if they possessed a single brain cell.

One has to feel awfully sorry for Harry though, he does not know whether he’s coming or going, he has a form of verbal diarrhoea with no plug in sight, much to the detriment of anyone exposed to the media, or the long-suffering royal family.

How much money was pumped into the life of Harry over the years, how much taxpayers cash was pissed away in Mahiki and places like Las Vegas?

Harry may be an ungrateful parasite who constantly wants more cash and fame for his greed-driven ego, but there may come a day when even the real Lilibet has enough of this uncouth narcissistic creature of low intelligence.

 

African Woman Who Claimed to Give Birth to 10 Babies Seen at 35,000 ft

Paddy Mulligatawny
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African Woman Who Claimed to Give Birth to 10 Babies Seen at 35,000 ft

Goiame Shithole, a South African woman who claimed to have given birth to ten children, was spotted over the Himalayas at 35,000 by a passenger jet at 14.00 hrs UTC yesterday. The woman had stuffed a massive helium balloon under her dress to fool thousands of South Africans when she claimed to have been pregnant with 10 babies.

“Oscar, Charlie, Foxtrot. I have just seen an African woman flying over Mount Everest. She was cruising at 35,000 feet, wind speed 12 knots. She seemed very happy and waved at us,” Captain Klaus Himmel of the Lufthansa jet reported.

Ms Shithole was last seen at a relative’s house in the northern township of Rabie Ridge, Johannesburg, South Africa in the early hours of June 17.

“She said she was going to the hospital to give birth to our 10 kids, so I wished her luck. I saw her walking down the road and heard gas sounds like farts, and she lifted off the earth. That’s the last I saw her,” Shithole’s boyfriend, Tobego Titsotsi, told renowned South African journalist Piet Rampedi on Wednesday.

It is calculated that Ms Shithole should reach the altitude of 35 kms before the helium balloon bursts, which is just on the edge of the earth’s atmosphere.

It is not known whether Ms. Shithole has a parachute, or oxygen supply.

What Children From 1966 Predicted About 2000s

Paddy Mulligatawny
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What Children From 1966 Predicted About 2000s

It goes without saying that British school children in 1966 spoke with more intelligence/articulation and with far superior elocution than most adults do today in 2021.

As for their predictions of the year 2000 onwards, some are right on the mark, some outlandish but most are very close to the mark.

We do have a terrible problem of overpopulation and depleting finite resources as many of the children predicted, but we’re still not living under the sea yet, as one girl suggested.

As of today, there has not been an all out global nuclear meltdown, and the children’s fears at the time must have been amplified by the Cold War news headlines. Of course, all hell could break loose at any time in the future either with Iran, N. Korea, China or Russia starting a nuclear war, but we shall get to that problem when it arises.

Automation and robotics are taking away jobs, and it will get worse as more technology takes over human roles. What to do with the humans out of work is a huge problem as predicted by one very articulate child at 1:27 of the video?

Factory farming is very much a reality today, as many animals live their entire lives up to slaughter in big sheds never being allowed to roam freely in fields.

Global poverty caused by overbreeding is threatening earth’s finite resources and will also eventually lead to global conflict.

In the 2000s, we now live in a terribly overpopulated polluted world that could break into global conflict at any time.

No one in the video however predicted a viral pandemic like the Covid-19 virus that came from Wuhan, China.

Brexit Punishment No. 35476: Stasi EU Censors Want to Erase All UK Streaming Content

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Brexit Punishment No. 35476: Stasi EU Censors Want to Erase All UK Streaming Content

A new EU directive under Stasi EU media control will ban the broadcast of British-made television and films in revenge for Brexit.

Gestapo EU Officials declared the UK presents a threat to the “promotion of European works and cultural diversity” within the Soviet fascist authoritarian bloc.

“Nein! Zere vill be nein Blackadder, nein Peaky Blinders, nein Fawlty Towers, nein Britisher schwein shows. And if you don’t like it? Eins, zwei, eins,zwei, eins, zwei!”

 

Biden Talking to White House Furniture Say Aides

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Biden Talking to White House Furniture Say Aides

Joe Biden on all fours was spotted by numerous White House aides scooting around the Blue Room floor and having an in-depth conversation with a set of chairs from Paris made by Pierre-Antoine Bellangé in 1817.

“C’mon man gimme a break! So your j-j-job is to sit there in the corner and not do anything all day? I wanna that job! Co co shibuz namamamama trailblazers sasquatch. Okay, you stay there, lemme scoot over and I’m going to raise my leg and pee on the curtain! Woof, woof, woof! Hummada hummada hummada boizee boizee boizup!”

After talking to the set of chairs for three hours, Biden then sat on his butt on the floor and started pulling himself across the floor dragging himself towards the famous Resolute Desk, a gift from Queen Victoria in 1880. Under Biden’s patronage, it has been relegated to a small cupboard room. The large oak desk crafted from the timbers of the HMS Resolute was presented to President Rutherford B. Hayes. Timbers taken from the abandoned ship during an arctic expedition were used to make the desk, and sent to the White House as a gesture from Queen Victoria after Congress provided funds to repair the ship and return it back to England. Many presidents since John F. Kennedy began the tradition of using the Resolute desk in the Oval Office, but not Biden because he knows full well he is not President of the United States. It is no secret that Biden also despises the British with a vengeance and this is why he hates this particular desk so much.

“I hate you! Get outta my sight man! Putin invaded Ireland, we gotta free Ireland from the Brits, goddamn hackers they hacked Ireland! It’s all the Limeys fault! Going back to New Orleans, here come the Neville brothers, be there for the Mardi Gras, is that a jumbo jet?”

After a furious tirade where Biden’s face goes all red with rage he rolls around on the floor crying for the “Emerald Isle” then unzips, cocks his leg, and pees on one of the legs of the Resolute desk.

“Chibba chibba marango! Agooda! Iah! Iah! Iah! Shieeeeezzzas!”

It’s just another day in the Biden White House, nothing to see here, folks!

Third Wave Infections Now Increasing Exponentially Across UK

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Third Wave Infections Now Increasing Exponentially Across UK

It takes time to build up, and the results PHE (Public Health England) are seeing of a 79% increase in infections of the Delta variant of Covid-19 across the country are just the beginning.

As more footfall occurs, more sports fixtures, increased summer travel, and more general interaction, then the virus will move further into population centres, and outer pockets of the population where the virus has been kept at bay for some time.

The economy of course is the initial priority of any government, and the consensus is that we should all live with people being infected and dying in front of us, just as long as life goes on as normal.

Third wave already underway

Public Health England reported a 79% rise in the number of cases of the variant first identified in India in a week. Hospital admissions have almost doubled.

Experts say the sudden increase is being driven by infections among younger people. It is scientifically proven that younger people are the initial super-spreaders of the virus, and their asymptomatic abilities allow the virus to spread to those who will eventually die from the virus.

The virus has all the time in the world, and it does not care about anything but surviving. To survive, it has to continually infect as many human hosts as possible, and from there, it must adapt to anything that is thrown in its way, whether these are vaccines or lockdowns.

Right now is a time of massive spread for the virus, and as the weekly results come in, more will be apparent about the viruses ability to spread, especially as the r0 value is way above 1 across the breadth of the country in all regions.

The Tokyo Olympics will be a major conduit for global spread of the virus further. It is simple physics. Millions of people travel to Japan for the Olympics from all corners of the earth, then mingle and interact, and once the Olympics end, they all travel back to their respective nations, spreading the virus even further. This is what the virus wants, and it could not ask for anything better.

Our advice is now is the time of mass infection, so limit your time in any areas populated with many humans. Wear a proper N95 certified mask, and wear an eye covering if you have to go out. Stock up on essentials, food, water purifiers, medical supplies, because when the mass hospitalisations increase, then things will be worse than the first two waves. Food price inflation is already here, but it will get a lot worse as supply falls.

Think for yourself. Never follow the sheep.

Leaky Harry: “I Did Not Leak Another Private Royal Conversation Again!”

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Leaky Harry: “I Did Not Leak Another Private Royal Conversation Again!”

Former royal, Harry has defiantly dismissed the fact that he leaked another private royal conversation to the press again.

“I did not leak another private royal conversation to the press. No, it was not me! I was not there when I told my press people to spread it around. I am not here! I was not there! It was not me!” the former prince emphatically denied.

Now that it’s all over the media, somehow Harry’s words seem a bit weak.

“The former prince did not brief me to spread this private conversation to all news outlets far and wide. I have no knowledge of the former prince saying anything to me that related in any way to that private conversation regarding Prince Charles slimming down royalty and not making Archie a prince. No, I deny I heard those words being spluttered from Harry’s mouth,” the Archehole press secretary revealed to all news outlets on Sunday.

It is not known where all these conversations come from, because they seem to emanate from thin air.

Is Harry a threat to national security? Surely not.

Parliamentarians Truly Surprised by Bercow Defection

Paddy Mulligatawny
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Parliamentarians Truly Surprised by Bercow Defection

Former Tory MP and Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, has astonished members of his former party and parliament by defecting to the Labour party.

“He was a Tory, through and through. I never would have guessed that Bercow was a meddling commie implant all of this time,” an astonished Tory MP revealed, whacking himself on the head in disbelief.

There were absolutely no indications whatsoever that Bercow was a Labour implant into the Conservative Party for all those years.

“When he was House Speaker he never gave favours or showed bias in favour of Labour. Bercow also never tried to pervert parliamentary processes to thwart Brexit and democracy in any way. Oh, look out the window, a pair of flying pink elephants are copulating whilst smoking Cuban cigars!” another parliamentary observer exclaimed.

There is another bonus for John Bercow for declaring his Labour credentials. He will now be guaranteed his £300/day when Labour puts him forward as a Lord.

Sally Bercow, congratulated her husband from a gypsy caravan somewhere in Cheshunt, where she has shacked up with some bruiser.

“All those years working undercover for John took their toll. That’s why I am in this caravan right now and some gypsy he-man is about to come in and give my box a good seeing to, something ‘limpy’ could not fulfil.”

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