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Biden: “My Butt Has Been Wiped”

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This is exactly what you want from a supposed world-class statesman — outbursts to reporters about butts being wiped. Along with severe dementia, it seems Biden is also displaying elements of Tourette’s syndrome, although there are many cases of people with advanced dementia blurting stuff out of the blue.

Needless to say, America is seriously fucked.

‘Woke’ Athletes Petition For ‘Taking the Knee’ to be New Olympic Sport

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The subservient practice of ‘taking the knee’ in reverence to a particular race of people is now to be considered as an Olympic sport, the IOC has announced. After being petitioned by dozens of brainwashed Olympic athletes, the IOC had nowhere to go, especially when many corporate brands who are all aligned with the Woke agenda for profit all weighed in on the Olympic organisers.

Gina Laqshwanda, 23, a 100-meter sprinter for team USA, was adamant that ‘taking the knee’ was an important part of sport, and that the Olympics should not be an exception.

“Black Lives Matter y’all! Imma axe y’all, all y’all peeple need to undahstand, do we need to take the knee, and make it into a sport, nigg*z say yeah fo sho, bend the knee, show who superior to yo regressive gene white azz!”

Athletes will get points for how low they can kneel and for how long they can hold the pose for whilst virtue signalling to everyone.

“After a lot of blackmail, and petitioning by certain Woke athletes and George Soros himself. We are proud to introduce the new Olympic sport of ‘taking the knee’ this year in Tokyo. It is a great addition to the current roster of sports we already have,” Chairman of the IOC, Bandelica Malwanny, announced on Sunday.

 

We Will All Get Covid

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Coronavirus has caused a significant loss of life and negatively affected the global economy.

When Covid struck the world in 2020, most of the countries went in to lockdown to contain the spread of the virus and reduce the sudden increased burden on their health care systems.

The hope at that stage was that a vaccine will soon be invented, and we will all get out of jail.

Good news was that researchers indeed managed to create some reasonably effective vaccines.

However, the vaccination programs took their time and only a small proportion of the world population is fully vaccinated so far.

Vaccination reduces the severity of illness, but does not stop us from getting infected with Covid.

Therefore, the only way forward is to vaccinate everyone and let everyone get exposed to Covid.

people world map

Unfortunately, some may succumb to Covid in spite of vaccination and this will be similar to what happens with flu infections, where some people still succumb to flu infection in spite of vaccination.

The challenge in doing the above will be in predicting how much will this cause a burden on health care systems.

Blurred crowd of people It will be particularly challenging for countries like Australia & New Zealand, that went in to strict lockdown and completely closed off their borders with the rest of the world because a very small percentage of their population would have developed natural immunity to Covid, and they will have to vaccinate all of their adult population before opening their borders.

It is generally accepted that natural immunity is better than the immunity provided by vaccines. So, in theory, the countries that were not very strict with lockdowns may be at a slight advantage (in short term) compared to the countries that went for strict lockdown and closure of borders.

Coronavirus is here to stay, and we will all get infected with it at some stage.

There is no escape.

Getting vaccinated and keeping ourselves fit and healthy to fight off the infection is the only way forward.

Illegal Channel Crossing: Merci Beaucoup Priti Patel!

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The French were in a jubilant mood today because they will be getting many more millions from the United Kingdom to escort illegal migrants across the Channel from France, thanks to Home Secretary, Priti Patel.

“The Rosbifs give us more millions to do what we have been doing all along — escort the migrants to Britain. If the cochons want, we can now escort the migrants in luxury cruisers, because the idiots paid for it,” a smiling French Naval officer at Calais laughed.

This year alone has been a great time for migrants crossing the Channel illegally, with over 8,452 journeys helped by the French to reach the shores of the UK.

The Home Secretary, Priti Patel has been fooled once again by the French and is now paying an extra 55 million pounds of taxpayers cash for a more involved escort service by the French navy.

“They pay us the money, we take it, and nothing changes. C’est si bon! All is well that ends well. Hopefully next year they can pay us more, I need a new cruise boat,” another Calais official remarked.

Next year — more of the same.

 

COVID-19 – When Will We Hear About New Lambda Variant?

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The original Wuhan L strain of SARS-CoV-2 first discovered in 2019 has now developed into different global mutations (variants).

Alpha (B.1.1.7) – UK variant
Beta (B.1.351) – South African variant
Gamma (P1) – Brazilian variant
Delta (B.1.617.2) – Indian variant
Epsilon (B.1.427/B.1.429) – first identified in the United States
Zeta (P.2) – first identified in Brazil
Eta (B.1.525) – first identified in multiple countries
Theta (P.3) – first identified in the Philippines
Iota (B.1.526) – first identified in the United States
Kappa (B.1.617.1) – first identified in India

Lambda ?

As the Greek alphabet only has 24 letters, a new system will have to be found to name the Covid variants thereafter.

How Did the Internet Save Bingo?

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From 16th Century Italy to the phone in your hand, bingo has come a long way in 500 years. But how did we get to enjoy and play online bingo form a weekly lottery in Central Europe?

Bingo is a game where a sequence of numbers are randomly called for players to match on their playing cards. Each card is marked differently, and the first player to match a predefined line or pattern shouts ‘bingo’ to win.

Starting as “Lo Giuoco del Lotto D’Italia” in Italy, bingo spread to France in the 1770s. Now called “Le Lotto,” the game moved from France to Germany, where it was used as a children’s learning tool.

The game first became popular in the UK and the U.S. shortly after the first world war. In America, players used beans to mark their cards, so it was initially known as “beano”.

Bingo was formalized into the game we know today by toy salesmen Edwin S. Lowe and mathematician Carl Leffler. Lowe patented his bingo card in 1942 after Leffler developed the layout to minimise the chance of multiple simultaneous winners.

Gambling was illegal in the UK until the Betting and Gaming Act 1960 opened up the country to commercial bingo. TV host Eric Morley quickly introduced “Mecca Bingo” to 60 of his large dance halls around the country.

For the next 20 years, bingo became a big part of the UK’s entertainment industry. The game was played in huge halls around the country and people would flock to enjoy it every night.

Then came the technological boom of the 80s and 90s, which hit the fortunes of bingo hard. The popularization of the home PC, DVDs, and games consoles gave new generations attractive alternative options.

BINGO DECLINE CONSOLES
Bingo halls saw a decline of players in the 80s and 90s due to other entertainment releases like gaming consoles.

Bingo fell out of fashion, particularly with the youth, and many of the dedicated halls began to close. Like many forms of entertainment at the end of the 20th Century, bingo needed to adapt in order to survive.

Fortunately, bingo translated well into the online world, and the first online game “Bingo Zone” was launched in 1996. It was able to sidestep online gaming restrictions by being officially designated as a lottery rather than a casino game.

With the development of more complex and modern online games, it was feared that bingo would soon fade away. Time has proved this fear was unfounded, and online bingo is a multi-billion-dollar industry which still continues to grow. Now many enjoy playing online bingo at 888 ladies and various other providers online.

So, how has the internet saved bingo?

More Convenient

Traditional bingo meant travelling to the hall at specific times, people needed to work to organise it into their lives. Including travel, for most players, it was necessary to dedicate an entire evening to the game each week.

Online bingo can be played at any time and be enjoyed anywhere with access to the internet. It can be played for just a few minutes at a time and games can be spread throughout the day.

More Affordable

Playing bingo in halls came with fixed costs, travel, fees, drinks, perhaps even food. With a set number of games needed to fill a session, it was much harder to trim down spending.

When playing online, you eradicate all the surrounding costs and the games themselves become pay as you go. It can cost just a few pence for each game, and players are in complete control of their spending.

New Audience

Though it wasn’t always the case, bingo played in halls developed a reputation for a certain kind of player. For many years it was seen as a game exclusively for older people, mainly women from poorer communities.

Online games naturally appeal to younger people, and the conversion has introduced the game to new generations. It has also created a wider market as diverse individuals play online without the worry of feeling out of place.

Wider Range

While there was some room for variety in the halls, most bingo games followed the exact same format. Online, the only restriction is imagination, which has paved the way for a revolution in bingo gameplay.

Whether it’s how the game is presented to the change of styles and features, online bingo is more diverse than ever. Keeping bingo interesting through innovation has helped increase its appeal to both new and existing players.

ONLINE BI
Online bingo has a wide and diverse range of bingo games available.

Stable of Games

In the online sphere, bingo is just one of a number of related games a player can choose from. It also has the advantage of forming the perfect bridge between simple arcade games and more complex casino games.

In this position, online bingo has been able to attract people from a wide section of the online gaming community. It offers regular cash prizes, but is simple to play and doesn’t require in-depth knowledge or skills.

With so much going for it, there’s no surprise that bingo has become so successful as an online game. Add to this the social aspect that in-game chatrooms offer, and you can see how it appeals to so many players.

Without its transition to online, bingo would have struggled to compete in the expanding modern entertainment world. Its simple appeal has endured for five centuries, but never in an environment like the one we have today.

It’s safe to say that the internet has not only saved bingo, but has given it a whole new life. Though, it would be interesting to know what those 16th Century Italians would think of online bingo today.

Japan May Soon Need to Resurrect Samurai Bushido Spirit

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The great nation of Japan may have to step up to the line once more to defend itself from the rogue communist nation of China, which is now on a major global expansionist drive. Under the tyrant Xi Jinping, China has threatened to nuke Japan into non-existence if it even raises one ship or plane when it invades Taiwan.

“Just as Obama lost half of Ukraine to Russia, it is certain that Biden will lose Taiwan to China. Joe Biden, who is China’s biggest cheerleader, will be ordered by Xi Jinping to stand down when Taiwan is invaded. Biden does not like confrontation and will also abandon Japan if it comes down to that as well,” a Pentagon observer revealed.

China is rapidly becoming increasingly desperate to acquire more land due to its mass industrialisation, most of the country is now heavily polluted and not fit for human or animal life.

“The Chinese military officials released the Covid-19 virus, but news in the CCP is that the operation has been a failure. The Chinese were expecting more global deaths and economic mayhem to take down many Western countries completely, but this never happened. This is why they are now working on an even deadlier virus, but in the meantime, their sabre rattling is continuing,” another analyst revealed.

This is why Japan may have to resurrect its Bushido spirit to fight with all its might against the vengeful Chinese one last time.

Revealed: Excerpts From Upcoming Prince Harry Memoir

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The Daily Squib has successfully acquired crucial passages from the upcoming Prince Harry memoir, penned by ghostwriter J.R. Moehringer.

Here, we will reveal some of the passages in the novel, ahem, memoir.

Chapter 1

“…and immediately after meeting her, I was totally under her spell. She hypnotised me with her stare, and she told me that I will be an ambassador for all world good. I will also be instrumental in ruining the Windsor royal family to make way for the new Woke communist age of China. At first, I questioned it a little, thinking that I was part of the royal family at the time, but when she unzipped my trousers and knelt down I…”

“…planning our escape came as early as the third date. I was sick of royal life, all the rigmarole of getting everything I asked for without paying for it, playing second fiddle to William really pissed me off when it was I who should be King. I can play rings around Granny, and fool her every time. She has no idea what Meghan is planning to do…”

“…Meghan told me I have to pretend that everything is normal, and must never reveal her plans to escape to America. Tomorrow is our £45 million wedding, so it’s great that the British taxpayer foots that bill as usual. I am so excited that Meghan has thought about everything for me, and she guarantees it will all be okay. We have already spoken to Oprah and Clooney, and Meghan says Netflix is already in the bag. We will use the royal name to make millions. Ooh, can’t wait. This will show papa and Wills that I should not be dismissed and denigrated…”

Chapter two

“…Meghan treats the servants like shit, so I started to do it too. I am so under her control, I cannot even go to the bathroom without asking her first. I put a few more millions in her account simply because she asked. What Meghan wants, she gets…”

“…as soon as we have the baby, we’re off. I can’t take it any more, Meghan constantly talks about using the Sussex name to make millions in America. We have so much dirt on them, it will be great to spill the beans once and for all. Papa was even worried about the baby’s colouring, and Meghan went berserk. To tell you the truth, so was I, in the back of my mind, what if it’s the colour of a jigg*boo? She was on the phone to Oprah for over an hour after that. When she got off the phone, she smiled and said we were going to make millions, before unzipping my trousers and kneeling down…”

Chapter three 

“…I will soon see Meghan in Canada. I am so excited. She told me that I have to say goodbye to Britain, and the Royal Family, my military uniforms, my friends, all royal privileges, everything I never worked for including most of my money so that I can start a new life with her. It’s good that she has nothing to lose, and I will lose absolutely everything just because she has me totally under her thumb and can give great blow jobs…”

Chapter six 

“…the money is rolling in. We fooled the idiot royal-crazy executives at Netflix, and Spotify to hand over millions. They will get minimal material from us. Meghan wakes up every day and I can literally see dollar signs in her eyes. The other day though, I asked her if I could phone an old friend from England, when she threatened me once again, she said she will leave with the kid and all my money and I will not be able to go back because I have disgraced and betrayed my family. I cried in front of her, but she simply laughed and told me to go and sit in the corner…”

“…and after the Oprah special interview, Meghan was ecstatic. She told me that I played my part great. I told the lies she told me to say with a straight face, happy with my performance, she unzipped my trousers and knelt down…”

More excerpts will be revealed next week.

Maricopa Audit: “What’s the Point in Finding Widespread Voter Fraud When Nothing is Done?”

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Maricopa County ballots cast in the 2020 general election have been examined and recounted by contractors working for Florida-based company Cyber Ninjas, at Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Phoenix, Arizona, and have found instances of massive voter fraud, which favoured Joe Biden in the election.

Doug Logan, CEO of Cyber Ninjas, told senators that auditors couldn’t find any record of Maricopa County sending more than 74,000 mail-in ballots and also discovered that around 18,000 people voted, but were taken off voter rolls “soon after the election.” He also noted that there were “11,326 people who were not on the voter rolls on Nov. 7, 2020, but appeared on the rolls on Dec. 4, 2020, and 3,981 people who voted after registering after Oct. 15, 2020.”

maricopa fraud

Despite the evidence, the RINOs and Democrats overseeing the count, are not taking any action to address the discrepancies in the 2020 general election vote.

“This is just one small window into the massive levels of voter fraud carried out by the Democrats in the 2020 general election. All states, where Biden suddenly had a large increase in ballots after the counting had stopped, are suspect. I am never going to vote ever again because the entire U.S. electoral system is skewed and biased towards one candidate,” an observer of the re-count revealed.

Arizona Senate President Karen Fann, (Republican) said the state Senate doesn’t have the ability to recall electors for the Nov. 3, 2020, election, after a fellow Republican lawmaker called for new elections.

The whole thing is a disgusting injustice to decent law-abiding Americans, irrespective of which political side they belong.

America is now no more than a banana republic where injustice, corruption and depravity are celebrated, whilst honour, truth, justice and freedom are crushed.

What’s the point in doing a re-count if nothing is done when voter fraud is discovered? No news outlets are even reporting the Maricopa audit, and it is once again being ghosted under the carpet.

Summer Heatwave Brings Out the Animals

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Usually the British summer weather is a deluge of wonderful rain, grey, miserable cold, but we are in the midst of a heatwave in relation to the type of weather we usually receive. For Britons, anything above 14c is a heatwave, so when it gets to 31c people start going fucking insane. This is when the animals come out to play.

Yesterday was such a day, temperatures not only reached way above 31c in some places, but tempers started to flare as well. The unusual heatwave saw incidents boil over, especially across the capital city, with violent incidents kicking off, road rage in melting traffic jams and punches thrown all over the fucking place.

Bottled

“There’s something about the heat, innit? Makes peeps chimp out! Me and my crew were just chillin’ sniffing balloons in the Greenwich sunshine when it all kicked off!” one geezer revealed.

Bar Stooled

One would think going to a Z-list slapper’s birthday party would be a bad enough insult to one’s sensibilities or dignity, when you would be 100% wrong. Someone called Jesy Nelson, hosted a really classy event where groups of savage animals smacked bar stools over heads and whooped around making grunting noises whilst dragging their knuckles along the floor. The heat by this time was over 34c, and the booze and cheap drugs were obviously adding to the tragedy of the brain-dead congregating.

Lewis Hamiltoned

The violent insolent brutish behaviour did not end there either. Black Lives Matter advocate and race warrior, Lewis Hamilton ‘won’ the Grand Prix race at Silverstone by deliberately smashing his car into his rival, Max Verstappen, sending the ‘deserving white man’ to hospital. Whilst taking the podium on his poor-spirited cowardly ‘win’, Hamilton whooped with delight as Verstappen lay in a hospital bed.

Please bring back the shit British summer weather, so things can go back to normal.