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Time is Running Out For Putin and Xi Jinping

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Time is Running Out For Putin and Xi Jinping

The time to capitalise on a severely crippled USA administration under incompetent Biden may soon come to pass for Putin and Xi Jinping. Russia and China are looking a gift horse in the mouth, as every day and hour passes, their chances to act are waning.

One can only imagine the urgency relayed by the Russian and Chinese generals, whispering in the ears of both leaders.

Sure, there may come a time when America is led by a real leader who is actually conscious, but as long as the Democrats are in charge of the USA, especially with an utter imbecile supposedly leading the country, the time to make strategic moves will be rife.

Biden has killed off the effectiveness of the US military, eviscerated it of any form of battle readiness. The recent war games between British and US marines proved how far the US military has fallen under the auspices of its current moronic, deranged leader.

With Biden more concerned in installing transgender soldiers and encouraging gay parades in barracks, all the while whilst China and Russia are daily training their military to be an immaculately effective and deadly force to be reckoned with.

Biden and his incompetent administration are the gift that keeps on giving to the West’s enemies, you only have to look at the ramshackle disaster of the Afghan withdrawal to see that Biden has absolutely no idea of what is going on.

Chances like this only appear once every century, to have a completely disarmed opponent, not only psychologically but physically open and inviting from all angles. If the Chinese and Russians wait too long, they will miss this unique once in a lifetime window of opportunity.

Who can say which other former Soviet-bloc country Putin will walk into without a single bullet being fired like he did under the Obama tenure, or his counterpart, Xi Jinping and China’s designs on the territories — Taiwan and Australia.

One military commander voiced his opinion on Joe Biden’s treatment of the U.S. military.

“Fuck Joe Biden!”

Harry in Training to be Meghan Markle’s Secretary When She Runs For Office

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Harry in Training to be Meghan Markle’s Secretary When She Runs For Office

Poor old emasculated Harry, one can only feel sorry for him as he rides the coat tails of his ambitious, domineering wife. Here is a fellow who once upon a time was a prince of the realm, someone of great standing, now reduced to the lowest echelons of mild celebrity status and secretary-hood. He was not even invited to the Obama birthday party or COP26.

“I am currently learning to type and shorthand. I know how to answer the phones after much tutelage. I can do 4 letters per minute at the moment, but I suppose in time I may increase my typing speed. Also, I have had to take spelling lessons because I cannot spell for shit. How do you spell ‘idiot’ is it with two e’s at the beginning?” Harry revealed on his latest interview with Doprah.

Doprah praised Harry’s new-found talents and willingness to put himself in the back seat whilst his wife forges ahead with her ambitions in the American political scene.

“Yah, I can make a cup of coffee now, and I get everyone’s orders for lunch. The servants used to make me everything back in the day (sniff) but these days I am the secretary to Meghan Markle who will soon be sitting in the White House. I will be so proud of her and will continue to make her cups of Doprah branded organic sourced ethically-sourced coffee made from the genocidal killing fields of the Chinese state Xinjiang, where the Uighur people are being systematically erased from existence.”

The Doprah audience leapt up in immediate adoration and the usual hysterical applause that only American audiences can produce.

Doprah praised the former royal.

“You are so nice Harry. I have a scuff on my shoe, you will polish it when we get backstage, then make me another ethically sourced cup of fucking coffee.”

At this point a single tear rolled down Harry’s stubbly cheek, and he muttered something under his breath.

“Yes, ma’am. Oh, how far I have fallen. O woe is me.”

The former prince then slunk off the stage and the next guest came on, a mime artist for children’s parties.

How to Choose Slot Games Based on RTP

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How to Choose Slot Games Based on RTP

There are many considerations that go into the design of a modern slot machine, including aesthetics, functionality, characteristics, and entertainment, as well as the mathematical skills that hold everything together.

Slots in casinos in the UK are no longer just simple reel games with appealing graphics. Companies that offer new age, virtual slots to operators require excellent experts as well as creative people for design.

So, where precisely does mathematics fit in? RTP, on the other hand, is their primary responsibility and is critical, to say the least!

Are You Looking For Slots With a High RTP?

When it comes to slot machines, perhaps one of the most significant characteristics that best online slots review, for instance, provides about specific games are bonus features, gameplay, storyline, RTP, as well as volatility.

You’re probably aware of this, but so many players choose which slots to start a game based on the RTP of the gameplay.

If you really are interested in this as well, you can easily find relevant information of the highest RTP slots and determine which make the top 10 slots that provide the best statistical overall result. But what precisely is RTP, and how will it work? Is it truly in the player’s favour or not?

Breaking Down the RTP

slot games 2When you enjoy an online slot machine, you probably question how much more you can win in a single sitting, which is where RTP comes in. RTP is an abbreviation for conceptual return to player percentage.

In today’s increasingly fast-paced digital world, developers must draw on a variety of factors, including technology, design, and mathematical techniques, to make a contribution to their end product – an attractive slot game for players.

Thus, the Design And Graphics Of the Mobile Slot games matter a lot. Let’s break it all down, beginning with RTP.

Assume you play a slot game with an RTP of 97 per cent and place a total bet of £1,000. Theoretically as well as statistically, this slot machine will return 97 percent of your total bet; in this case, £970. So, you won’t be at a loss if everything emerges as the theory suggests, but unfortunately, this is not the case.

The RTP cannot be realised after only a few hundreds or thousands of spins in a single short session. No, RTP is the percentage of return to the player that is realised over time. One session is meaningless because it takes countless spins for RTP to reveal its essence.

Most notably, wouldn’t it be tedious to always stake £10 and get 97 percent of it back? If you are a genuine slot enthusiast, you will know that nothing beats getting 97 percent of your bet back over and again.

However, how do slot providers arrive at the RTP?

The process of calculating the return to player rate percentage (RTP) is quite complex and difficult. Game developers do not simply decide on a number or percentage that the match will return to the playmaker and set it at that estimate.

Remember those computer scientists we mentioned earlier? This is where their abilities come into play.

Is RTP something on which we can rely?

Do you choose an online slot with high volatility or a slot with a high RTP and expect it to contribute to returning more of your bet? Theoretically, yes. In practice, no. However, things work differently in practice, especially when playing short sessions where RTP does not play a significant role.

On the other hand, this is the allure of slot machines; everything is ultimately up to chance. It is better to choose online slots volatility with a higher RTP because they have the potential to pay out more than gameplay with a lower RTP rate.

Choosing slot games based on RTP and keep your fingers crossed

According to our casino expert Joe Booth, RTPs are ascertained in a controlled setting by mathematicians, and those numbers can be trusted.

Players are always looking for slots with a higher RTP, which is reasonable considering that there is a distinction to be made in play between that and slots with a lower RTP. That is the benefit of higher RTPs that players seek – there is a greater chance of winning more.

In just a few minutes, you could not only get your bet back, but also win hundreds or thousands of times more. Finally, it is better to choose slots with a higher RTP because they have the potential to pay out more than gameplay with a lower RTP rate.

Desperate Refugees Used as Pawns in Nasty Geopolitical Chess Game

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Desperate Refugees Used as Pawns in Nasty Geopolitical Chess Game

Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko, who is himself a pawn of Putin, is utilising desperate refugees as pawns against EU nations like Poland, to destabilise the region.

One can’t think of anything more despicable than to use the sheer desperation and heartache of thousands of refugees for your own gain, as Lukashenko is doing right now.

Middle Eastern and African migrants have been flown into Belarus by Lukashenko, who is using them as human pawns in his dirty game with the West, after many countries imposed sanctions following a violent political crackdown by the dictator.

History has seen many of the same hybrid tactics in the past, however in 2021, is it really necessary, have humans not become more enlightened in their actions? It seems not, as there are parts of the globe still stuck in the same old cycle of violence and depravation, as witnessed by Lukashenko’s horribly cynical and cowardly actions.

Camilla Receiving Counselling After Joe Biden Fart

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Camilla Receiving Counselling After Joe Biden Fart

The COP26 Climate Change conference was not only marred by a lot of hot air coming from hypocritical delegates and politicians, but a lot of methane gas was also emitted during the conference, and consort to Prince Charles, Camilla was bang right in the middle of the smelly fiasco.

Traumatised by the experience of Joe Biden farting at length and with such a high decibel output in her presence, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, is now receiving counselling from a top Harley Street psychiatrist. The event was indeed so traumatic that it even invades Camilla’s dreams as she wakes up multiple times at night sweating after recurring nightmares plague her fragile sensibilities.

Professor Alphonse de Merde of Harley Street, has tactfully revealed some of what occurred on the fateful day that Camilla encountered Joe Biden as he farted into his adult nappy during the COP26 conference in Glasgow.

“Camilla, has kindly given me permission to reveal the traumatic injury to her constitution during the gaseous release from Joe Biden’s anus, during the COP26 conference. The Duchess had just come from the powder room, where her maid in waiting had adjusted a few hair-related things. Joe Biden suddenly appeared around the corner but did not know where he was, or why he was there. He was asking everyone he bumped into if the COP26 conference was Disneyland, and why there was no sign of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.

“This is when the fateful stinky altercation took place with the Duchess of Cornwall. Biden pointed at Camilla and aggressively accused her of hogging all the rides and that’s why he could not get on the Big Thunder Mountain rollercoaster. Camilla, and her aides immediately realised something was awry, and prepared to leave the area, however Biden was adamant that he was correct in his assumption. Hurriedly, he attempted to pick Camilla up off the floor, but as he bent down to do so, he let off a huge gaseous fart so loud that it was even picked up by microphones in the hall where the delegates were assembled.

“In fact, Joe Biden’s fart was so powerful and smelly, it ripped his trousers from the rear exposing his adult nappy. The man had clearly shit himself, and some of the smelly brown stuff seeped onto the floor expelled from the adult diaper at quite a high velocity. Steamy wet slivers of the effluent even landed on a delegate from Guatemala’s sandwich just as he was about to bite on it. The Duchess, seeing this, tried to do the honourable thing and alert the gentleman but was too late. He bit down on the sandwich gulping the lot down without any reaction at all. This was possibly a testament to the Scottish catering, that the man did not realise he had just ingested an olive sized piece of shit with his sandwich.

“If that was not enough for the royal sensibilities to be unjustly aggrieved, the smell uttered from Joe Biden’s ghastly posterior was incalculably atrocious, the aroma of death and decay, possibly a Haitian morgue where refrigeration is an anomaly, mixed in with strains of fermented arse cheese from a tramp as well as the faint whiff of rotting haggis. One wonders what the hell Joe Biden was ingesting on his visit to Scotland?

“Suffice to say, the poor Duchess was ungraciously affected by this distasteful foul escapade, and started to wretch uncontrollably. Thankfully, one of her maids appeared from the sidelines and held the Duchess up as she gasped for air only to ingest more foulness into her olfactory system. Prince Charles had already fled the scene leaving the Duchess to deal with the Biden problem, so it was up to the maids to hurriedly escort Camilla from the harrowing scene in a semi-conscious state, gasping for pockets of oxygen amongst the sulphurous heavy methane excrement rich gas permeating through every nook and cranny.

“Eventually news filtered through that Biden and his deadly emissions had been contained as the babbling old man was locked in a toilet cubicle with his long-suffering aides trying to repair his soiled ripped trousers.

“Today is the sixth day of treatment for the Duchess, and I can only reassure the palace that she is thankfully on the mend. The psychological damage however may take a while longer to heal, but she says her nasal palate has thankfully returned back to normal.”

Royal courtiers were today thanking their lucky stars that the 95-year-old Regent had not attended the COP26, as an encounter with Biden may have almost certainly hastened her demise.

Praise must be given to Camilla for her fortitude and solemnity in dealing with the flagitious Joe Biden and his seeping arsehole. Of course, in true American style, there was not a single sniffle of an apology from the Biden circus, as the smelly contingent left the COP26 conference.

 

Harry and Meghan to Conduct Another “Fake Royal Tour” in December

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Harry and Meghan to Conduct Another “Fake Royal Tour” in December

Using the Duke and Duchess of Sussex labels, even though they are not working royals anymore, Harry and Meghan plan to complete faux royal tours of American prisons and Democrat run cities.

The fake royal tour of New York City, in October, was a success for the couple of grifters, who were led around the city’s sights by glassy eyed American officials, who would not know real royalty if it smacked them in the face. Despite not being royal, Harry and Meghan used the Duke and Duchess of Sussex title at every opportunity.

Spokesperson for the couple, Scobie Doh, naturally gushed over the announcement of new fake royal tours in December.

“They will be going to Alcatraz, and Folsom state prison for the first leg of the tour, and maybe Sing Sing. Then they will go to some Democrat run cities where crime, drugs and homelessness have blighted the former great cities because they are now run by enabling, wasteful, socialist morons with no guts to actually fix those cities up. It will be fantastic to see these dumb starry eyed officials fawning over Harry and Meghan, treating them like royalty when in fact they are not royal, and have distanced themselves from the British royal family as much as possible. Ooh, I cannot wait to see them at work on their fake royal tour.”

If you ever want to see a city ruined by Democrats, Philadelphia has to be your first stop, then maybe the wasteland of Detroit, or the murder capital of Chicago, all run by completely clueless socialist profligate idiots who have absolutely no idea about anything, let alone running a city.

One sickened American commentator suggested the fake royals stay in Alcatraz.

“These two sicken me to the point of barfing, I mean they’re coming over here acting all royal when I heard they hate the Brit royal family, and the Doprah interview damn well confirmed that. Quit telling us Americans how to live our lives Harry, and the money grabbing z-list grifter actress Megain narcissist, she don’t like being exposed, does she? They’re going to visit Alcatraz huh? Well, hell they should stay there and shut the hell up, give us all a rest from all their fake ass woke shit!”

News That’s Beyond Satire – Edition V

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News That’s Beyond Satire – Edition V

‘Insulate Britain’ Block INSULATION Truck

Yes, you couldn’t make this shit up even if you tried. Serial eco super gluers, Insulate Britain blocked the way for a truck carrying insulation for homes. Insulate Britain want every home in Britain insulated, but how’s that going to happen when the very trucks carrying the insulation are blocked on the roads by their own insane eco zealot super glue sniffing fanatics?

Over 400 Private Jets and Gas Guzzling Biden Motorcade Behemoth Clog Up Climate Change Conference

Imagine the amount of carbon emissions pumped out into the atmosphere as all these hypocritical bastards land at Glasgow airport to supposedly save the planet. To see the likes of Bezos, who is one of the most polluting individuals in the world, commenting on the fragile earth’s atmosphere brought up some bile. Then we had sleepy Joe being motorcaded everywhere in his 8 MPG monster truck, and a motorcade of over 40 gas guzzling vehicles including a helicopter following above. It’s a good thing sleepy Joe did not know where he was or why he was there, because if anyone mentioned the damage his motorcade was doing to the atmosphere, he would have a certain shock to his comatose state.

QANON Supporters Wait on Grassy Knoll For Resurrection of John F. Kennedy, Jnr.

If you want proof that a vast proportion of the United States population are off the scale mentalists, you only have to look at QANON followers. These fuckers are so deranged that they stood around waiting for the dead JFK Jnr. to turn up, just because QANON said he would. Well they waited, and waited and no one turned up. QANON is obviously the CIA having fun with idiots. You can imagine some CIA guy in Virginia giggling his ass off sending these ridiculous QANON messages to morons on the internet.

Why You Always Forget to Take Medicines on Time and How to Avoid It

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Why You Always Forget to Take Medicines on Time and How to Avoid It

There are instances when you forget to take medicines, and your recovery process gets delayed. Your doctor already told you when and how often to take these medicines, but you forget anyway. Here are some tips to help you overcome this issue.

You don’t maximise tools at your disposal

You have your phone with you. It offers tons of ways to remember that you must take a pill. From an alarm clock to a reminder app, anything is possible. There’s no excuse for still forgetting what you should do. Take advantage of whatever is available if you want to recover from your illness soon.

You’re too busy

When you have too much on your plate, you might forget about taking medicines on time. It doesn’t matter how busy you are. You should follow the prescriptions. Take your medicines with you wherever you go. Whether you’re in the middle of a meeting or on the road, you can still take the pills as prescribed.

You have too many pills to take

Sometimes, your pills can be overwhelming. However, you have no choice since you face more than one medical condition, and you should take more than one at a time. Consult with your doctor about this issue. Be transparent with your doctor, and you will know what the next step should be. There might be an alternative, so you won’t have to take several medicines at the same time. You might also have to let go of some on the list since they counter the effects of the other pills. For instance, you can buy penicillin online prescribed by your physician, and stop taking other pills as advised.

You keep all the medicines in the cabinet at home

If you have a medicine cabinet, it’s a good thing. You can store your pills and organise them easily. However, you should also bring one with you wherever you go. You won’t always be home. It might be necessary to take some medicines when you’re on the go. You can’t drive back just to take one from the cabinet.

You’re getting older

If you’re ageing and can’t use technology to remind you, ask for help from someone else. Tell your relative to call you when it’s time to take medicines and remind you. Another idea is to write the information on various areas of your house. You will think about what you have to take once you see these reminders. The fridge, bedside table, shelves, and kitchen table are among the options.

You can’t allow yourself to forget to take medicines on time again. If you want to get better soon, you must do what’s right. If you still don’t feel better after a while, go back to your doctor. You might need another check-up to determine what’s wrong. There could be another reason behind your medical condition and recurring symptoms. Trust the medical experts to do the right thing. Cooperate with them, and you will recover soon.

Enemies of Britain: Biden and Macron Best of Buddies

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Enemies of Britain: Biden and Macron Best of Buddies

Auntie Widdecombe of the Brexit Party was completely right to give French president Emmanuel Macron a good earful today, calling out the miserable wretch for his avid hatred of the British. We should get the paratroopers to drop her off behind enemy lines and to clandestinely sneak into Macron’s palace to beat the twat over the head with one of her handbags. How’s about that, whilst force-feeding the hateful little Napoleon with some battered cod and chips, seeing as he likes to steal our fish so much.

As for the IRA Macron loving weasel Biden, he clearly states that there is no special relationship with Britain whilst he is still around. That’s not exactly news, especially as we had the same state of affairs with that bristling Kenyan commie bastard some years back. Britain will have to thus wait for another fucking U.S. election until Biden is ousted, or hopefully he will drop dead before then. Sleeping through every International meeting, Biden usually does not know where he is or what he has been told to say by the Obama team, who run the show behind the scenes. America under the blundering fool is a mess, with skyrocketing gas prices, trillions more Green New Deal debt, overrun borders, hyperinflation, mass job losses, ISIS and Al-Qaeda regrouping in Afghanistan, and the lowest ratings drop ever witnessed in U.S. history. “Fuck Joe Biden”, or as some automaton NBC reporter claimed “Let’s Go Brandon!”

Britain, it seems, is alone in its endeavour to gain some sort of sovereignty since its imprisonment in the EU, and is coming up against some seriously nasty backstabbing fuckers who pretended to be our allies before Brexit. Everything was all dandy whilst cash cow Britain was paying out billions of UK taxpayers money into the EU debt black hole, but since we had the balls to actually attempt to leave the EU, we are enemy numero uno.

To watch Boris cluelessly smiling around Macron at the COPOUT26 Glasgow eco talk and G20 in Italy, was a truly disturbing sight. Whatever happened to the champion of Brexit, now a simpering dishevelled wimp appeasing Macron at every turn, whilst the Frenchman gloats and spits directly in Boris’ face. Bring on Auntie Widdecombe any time, she would stomp the rascal Macron so far into the ground it would take weeks to dig the conard out.

Send the battleships in.

How Much Name Could a Rename Name if a Rename Renamed Names?

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How Much Name Could a Rename Name if a Rename Renamed Names?

Color me an extremist, but I say that when it comes to renaming our beloved and long-established institutions, we ought to stop feline-footing around and get down to copper-coated tacks.

For instance: the inhabitants of our nation’s capital are now fans of the Washington Football Team. One can’t deny that the new name is certainly pleasing to the ears. It abounds with playful creativity. But, alas, there is still plenty of room for improvement.

The word team, for starters, is associated with comradery and collective achievement—a slap in the face to our more introverted fellow citizens. Just as they so often remind us: they have anxiety. One must consider their delicate sensitivities. A better substitute—The Washington Football Thing. That’s better already.

Next—Football? That’s a sharp stub to all of our fellows who find themselves to be a bit deficient below the ankle. Every person who has ever been afflicted with an ingrown toenail will be forcefully reminded of their unjust suffering. So, I propose: The Washington Non-Anatomically Descript Ball Thing.

Of course, this new name may offend the testicularly-impaired and the people-who-menstruate. Why should they have to hear that hideous syllable rattling around in the sports bars? Ball. Yikes, it’s downright patriarchal the way it makes your mouth pop open like that. Ball. So, how about: The Washington Non-Anatomically Descript Object Thing. Now we’re cooking with a perilously limited fossil-fuel most-often extracted by fracking.

Next, I suppose we should reconsider how the moniker begins. Really? Something as hideously insensitive as Washington? The name in itself is a one-two punch to the hygiene-averse. Non-bathers are just as human as any of us—in fact, when one considers their increased levels of dead-skin-cells, maybe even more so. It’s time to stop the filth-shaming. So, a valid proposal: The Present-Tense Form of an Unspecified Verb-ton Non-Anatomically Descript Object Thing.

Hold everything. Ton? That simply won’t do. What about all of our perfectly healthy friends and neighbors whose body weight is often described, in a demeaning way, as a large fraction of the aforementioned unit of measurement. In this case, I believe that the proper remedy would not be another expertly formulated euphemism (if I do say so myself). Instead, let’s simply add a body-positive suffix! So, the new name will be: The Present-Tense Form of an Unspecified Verb Ton-of-Fun Non-Anatomically Descript Object Thing. Absolutely nothing left to change there. It’s perfect!

Or is it? There are literally hundreds of coal-mining sports fans out in the Appalachian foothills who (in spite of their white privilege) are completely illiterate. Perhaps the alternate alternate-name should be something to the effect of: 38.9072° N, 77.0369° W [insert a string of football emojis here]. That takes care of that.

Or does it? I don’t suppose there is a committee of the world’s foremost thinkers working diligently in some laboratory to somehow translate the wide emoji lexicon into Braille. Or is there?

Well, that ought to suffice. For the moment, anyway.

What’s next on the renaming agenda? Every public school in San Francisco? Yeesh. I better go brew a pot of charred and pulverized fruit seeds originally expropriated from growers in the Horn of Africa.

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