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Drugged Up Parliamentarians to Get Their Comeuppance With Sniffer Dogs

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Gone are the days of a quicky sniffy in the Number 10 toilets before barraging into the Cabinet room ranting and raving at velocity about some inconsequential bureaucratic law involving traffic cones and roundabouts. MPs and staffers in parliament will now have drug sniffer dogs sniffing around their persons at every opportunity. Those care free cocaine fuelled days are over with for now.

One can imagine the utter disgrace meted upon an Honourable Member as a sniffer dog handled by some brutish policeman finds that packet of white stuff you have clumsily gouged into your jacket’s inner pocket. The £2,500 Savile Row suit you wear has bespoke pockets just for this sort of thing, but the fucking pooch sniffed it out within a few minutes of you walking through the entrance into the Commons. What would Tony Montana do? Maybe call everyone within a certain perimeter, a cockroach, then pull out a pea shooter whilst yelling “Say hello to my little friend!” You on the other hand are meant to be a respectable member of parliament, a guffaw or two suffices as the police lead you away to be searched and arrested in front of all of your gawping colleagues.

Apparently, recent sweeps by the police in parliament rooms and toilets have found vast amounts of cocaine, and Boris is clamping down on the practice which has been a very well accounted for activity for yonks.

How will Michael Gove function under these new restrictive directives? His bright percussive demeanour could be darkened, slowed down somewhat, maybe he may stumble over his words as the Peruvian marching powder is nowhere to be seen or snuffed.

As for Boris, of course he has never touched such things in his past, or present. Looking at the way he is conducting business of late, a Victorian doctor would prescribe mountains of the white powder to the ailing PM to give him some much-needed oomph, as he chases his lost mojo up and down those parliamentary stairwells.

Coffee is of course the answer, wrap it up in a bag of coffee. The sniffer dogs are always fooled by this age-old trick. We may now see an increase in the price of coffee as demand rises to gargantuan levels.

In an Increasingly Insane World: Self Sufficiency is Key

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Governments and states used to in the past hold some modicum of common sense, but these days, especially during a global pandemic, this is definitely not the case.

What can you do to ensure your survival amongst a maelstrom of stupid directives, ill-conceived laws, and governmental over-reach bordering on totalitarianism?

self sufficiency food

It’s simple — become self-sufficient.

  1. Move away from cities. During societal breakdowns, cities are essentially killing zones.
  2. Become self-sufficient in all utilities, wood-burning stoves, solar energy, water collection/purification, composting toilets, recycle everything.
  3. Grow your own food, this is one of the best things you can do. It is not easy though, especially in colder climates like Britain, however look into hydroponics for indoor growth of most vegetables and fruit all year round.
  4. Livestock like chickens and goats are also a bonus to any self-sufficient holding.
  5. Always prepare some food reserves for emergencies.
  6. Gain military/martial arts training. Gain training in use of firearms for self-defence, depending on laws within your jurisdiction. Once law and order breaks down completely, forget about law within your jurisdiction, as it will no longer exist.
  7. Invest in high-end night vision goggles and a long range drone. Create a CCTV perimeter. Learn how to create traps. Keep paper maps and learn how to use a compass.
  8. Stop spending money on shit. (anything that is not useful)
  9. Get training in emergency medical techniques. Stock essential medical supplies.
  10. Own a pre-1985 diesel vehicle with minimal electronics and be proficient in mechanics. Alternatively, building a Faraday cage for your vehicle and electronics will suffice.
  11. HAM Radio, get one and learn its uses.
  12. Build an underground shelter/stockroom, or adapt an existing basement.
  13. Never tell anyone what you are doing, otherwise you will have the entire neighbourhood knocking when the SHTF.
  14. Paper money will be useless when society breaks down. Instead, food, gold, skills will be tradeable for other resources.
  15. Establish a group of trusted people who you can count on in an emergency.
  16. Be prepared to leave to a designated bug-out area at the drop of a hat.

Solar panelsThe key to self-sufficiency is to learn essential skills that would benefit you and your family in an emergency. These are more valuable than anything else. With the right skills, you will be able to survive in situations that others will not.

Surviving in wild environments will mean you will be able to distinguish edible material, make shelters/traps and create medicines.

Beyond Satire VI

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Greetings from the nether regions of the satirical spectrum of insanity, where the borders between regular news dissolves and is enveloped by things beyond the fucking Thunderdome. This time, Tina and Mad Max are nowhere to be seen. All we have are some rather whacky cringe worthy stories that may or may not tickle your funny bones.

BEYOND SATIRE

Tourist is savaged by a 12ft crocodile after mistaking the predator for a plastic model and climbing into its pool for selfies in amusement park in the Philippines

Australian crocodile.A tourist in the Philippines was attacked by a crocodile after mistaking it for a plastic model and climbing into its pool to pose for selfies.

Nehemias Chipada spotted what he thought was just a life-like model of one of the predators while visiting Amaya View amusement park on his birthday in Cagayan de Oro City.

The 68-year-old then posed for pictures, holding his phone in one hand with his other hand dangling by his waist.

But with his family watching, the picture session took a savage turn when the 12ft-long croc lunged at his arm and dragged him into the water.

He was rescued from the savage mauling, eventually with his IQ intact.

 

Woman shoots self in vagina

9mm pistol gun and bullets strewn on the tableA webcam model accidentally shot herself in the vagina with a 9 mm handgun while recording a video earlier this month in her Georgia home, according to a police report.

Responding to an “accidental gunshot wound” call at a residence in Thomaston, a city 40 miles from Macon, a sheriff’s deputy encountered an EMS worker in the property’s driveway around noon on November 9.

The paramedic–who was holding an unloaded handgun and a spent bullet casing in her hands–explained that, “the female had shot herself in her vagina, accidentally.”

Nothing to say about this apart from “ooph!”

 

Shepherd’s pie kills woman, 92, as chef admits ‘rushing’ food

Shepherds pie dinnerDeath by Shepherd’s Pie, something that many do not think about ever occurring, however in this case, it did happen. The chef killed off granny with some poorly cooked pie, and the bastard will have to live with his mugshot in the paper for the rest of his sorry life. Remember this, Shepherd’s Pie can be deadly.

 

 

Man who survived Channel boat tragedy ‘plans to cross again’ to pay for sister’s medical expenses

RefugeesThe amount of money already spent paying people traffickers to cross the Channel would have saved his sister five times over, yet this idiot still wants to pay an extra five grand to cross the Channel over the twenty or so thousand pounds he has already spent on the horrific ordeal? One suspects his sister is nothing to do with him crossing the Channel.

 

More Beyond Satire stories here

Secretive BLM Directive and Flash Robberies Across Democrat Run States

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Immediately after the Kenosha acquittal of Kyle Rittenhouse, the flash robberies began across mainly socialist run states. Organised secretly via some Whatsapp clone, these BLM flash robberies are seen as reparations by the black community, as if they are owed these things they are looting for some perceived racial ‘injustice’.

No American news media dares to even address the race of the perpetrators of these crimes, and most TV news outlets only refer to them as ‘young people’ when in reality it is obvious who is committing these cowardly crimes.

Flash mob robberies have occurred many times in the past, the August 9, 2014 shooting of Michael Brown by a white policeman caused many weeks of flash robberies and arson.

The George Floyd death at the hands of another white policeman caused vast amounts of looting and flash mob robberies all across Democrat-run states, similar to what is going on right now.

Why just Democrat-run states? Generally, these are easy pickings for the criminals because they know these states are run by socialists who punish the police and even in some states try to outlaw and defund all police departments. One only has to look at Minneapolis, where the 3rd precinct police HQ for Minneapolis, is still in an abandoned state, even after an entire year passed since the BLM riots. Furthermore, flash robbers know, even if they get caught in a socialist-run state, they will simply be patted on the back and freed within an hour with no charges. American socialists actually cheer when they see their own stores being looted because for them, it is their own self-hatred of their own kind that is reaffirmed by the looters looting their own businesses. No Republican-run states would tolerate such actions, therefore the African Americans leave those states alone for easy pickings in socialist states.

Because the African American people have achieved little or nothing in increasing their collective wealth over 100s of years even when they have had trillions of dollars thrown at them and infinite instances of affirmative action, many feel naturally jealous of others who work hard and create their own wealth. The Korean community, the Italians, the Irish, the Chinese, the Indians and other East Asians have all excelled greatly in America whilst the African American community only looks on holding their EBT cards in their lazy, incompetent hands. Of course, sports, and rapping are an element of African American success, and one way they have excelled in current times, but the beauty of African American music has all but disappeared since they have ruined the Music Biz with their Autotuned template music that makes each song indistinguishable from any other.

Daily Squib Knew Chinese Communist Party Exporting Internet Censorship Globally in 2018

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An Australian Institute has come to the conclusion that China is trying to export its brand of censorship to the entire internet. The paper published in 2021, echoes what the Daily Squib has been writing about for years, initially from one of our articles in 2018.

We have seen how the Big Tech companies in the West have come under the spell of the Chinese Communist Party many years ago when no one even considered such a thing happening.

The CCP has also effectively introduced woke culture to destabilise democracy and eviscerate freedom of speech in the West. The Chinese are utilising any cracks in racial politics to extend more chaos in many countries, but more prominently in the USA, where racial divides are extremely wide.

The Chinese Communist Party has also infiltrated Western educational establishments, often with vast grants given to institutions as long as they indoctrinate students in Maoist communist ideals.

The Christmas Present No One Wanted – Omicron

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Merry fucking Christmas! Airline stocks drop, the indices drop, and crypto led by Bitcoin is now testing lows bordering on a prolonged bear market, however, what is driving this fear? The WHO is possibly stoking the fright amongst the global population by causing alarm bells to go off concerning the new (B.1.1.529): SARS-CoV-2 Variant, an Africanized bitch motherfucker Botswana virus named Omicron, which sounds more like a software or printer manufacturing company than a deadly fucking virus with so many spike proteins it practically sticks to anything.

Firstly, we must be calm, because panic only causes over-reactions and then poor decisions. If the scientists created a vaccine for the other variants, they are surely looking into Omicron right now. Second, it is imperative that proper N 95 rated masks are worn when in public or in crowded areas, anything else is useless. Thirdly, airborne water droplets can land anywhere on your body, but the eyes are vulnerable, therefore eye protection is a must. Finally, sexual intercourse, especially with multiple partners is dangerous we are sad to say because the virus can be transmitted through bodily fluids, including saliva and semen.

The subject of lockdowns is a sensitive one, but the globe must not lockdown again because the economic damage is too destructive, and would eventually kill off more people than the virus. Killing off people’s livelihoods is no solution to this problem. If humans have to go around in space suits, this is better than any lockdown.

The solution to this virus should not also rest with vaccination but a multi-tiered approach, initially inventing a mask that is not intrusive but effective in stopping transmission. If everyone wore a proper mask that does not allow viral particles through, then the virus would not spread, the key is to find and supply one of these special masks to the entire population, so that each person is equally protected. There are people who do not like wearing masks and these people should be allowed to get infected if they choose, and possibly die if they choose, but they should not be forced to wear a mask if they do not want one. It’s okay, though because as long as others wear masks they will be protected sufficiently from the minority of naysayers. Eventually, non mask wearers will succumb to the new strain and be removed from the equation anyway.

Anyone who denies the Covid virus exists will eventually find out the opposite of their belief, but their scepticism should be respected, it is their choice and their formulation that has led them to this point. Yes, it is good to question things always, however one must take their information from multiple sources otherwise a form of indoctrination occurs. Many vaccine deniers, and covid sceptics only glean propaganda information from a few sources,  and are thus stuck in a sceptical echo chamber that imprisons their views, impoverishing their outlook. Many of these people, much like flat-earthers, should be left to their own devices as nothing one says can sway their viewpoint. Why even waste energy with these people when it can be utilised better trying to solve the problem at hand?

Testing for the virus must be improved. The scientific community needs to find a valid, accurate and fast testing system that will identify who is a carrier and not. Governments must implement the testing facilities with effective logistical proliferation within all population centres.

All educational institutions should adopt mask wearing, because these places are where the super-spreaders lie, with asymptomatic viral loads that are much more potent and virulent than adults. The youth are the primary spreaders of Covid onto the rest of the population, and if there is a particularly nasty viral strain like Omicron, they will sadly be the cause of many adults dying. The clever thing to do would be to shut all educational establishments and continue home learning programs, but unfortunately many people utilise schools as mere holding facilities for their kids so that both parents can work.

We live in a society where money, greed, gluttonous consuming, and material wealth is more important than surviving a global pandemic wracked by an evil viral variant. The economy is more significant than you as a human, even though the economy relies on humans consuming, it seems that this duality is not recognised by the economists, who will do anything to keep everything open. There must not be a lockdown under any circumstance, even when people start dropping dead in the fucking streets.

Just a little thought: This new variant suspiciously came from Botswana, where China is heavily involved with the government utilising its Belt and Road Initiative. Since the Chinese are most certainly culpable for engineering and creating the initial Covid-19 Wuhan strain, it could also be a possibility that their scientists upped their game in engineering this new Omicron strain. Furthermore, as tensions rise between the West and China, the timing is suspicious to say the least of releasing such a virile pathogen into the human population. One would not doubt the extent of evil the Chinese communist regime is capable of committing to win their planned wars. Why not weaken the rest of the populations, seed more chaos and disorder, then clean up the mess militarily with relative ease? Sun Tzu would approve of the tactic.

French Police Calmly Watch as 33 Migrants Drown

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Life is cheap, it seems, in France if you are just another economic migrant lost soul who somehow wandered into the EU Schengen Zone where there are no borders or checks.

The Schengen Zone was possibly designed for an ideal utopian European world where blonde and blue-eyed fair skinned Europeans would cross European borders freely for their business and holidays, however it is not an ideal world and the EU is being continually breached by desperate economic migrants from the Third World who will do anything to live the ‘Western ideal life’ they see on the internet and television.

This is why countries like France are flooded with these people, even though they are treated like Untermenschen by the French, they still keep coming because the country is close to the so-called land of milk and honey — Britain.

migrant lifejackets
Abandoned life jackets where migrants crossed illegally litter the shore.

The latest tragedy of another migrant dinghy full to the brim with migrants headed for Britain sinking and killing all its occupants is another death knell for free borders. These mistaken migrants are sold stories that Britain is where the living is easy, and gold is found on the streets of London. Nothing can be further from the truth, but the evil profiteering people smugglers sell the stories, so they can fill their own filthy pockets with dirty money.

The French police and authorities simply watch from the beaches, and even escort migrants halfway across the Channel most times. They want more problems sent to Britain, as the French now detest the British cochons with a vengeance after Brexit. Any punishment is fit for the Rosbifs, which of course is vindictive nasty behaviour however according to the French, the British deserve every form of misfortune sent their way. The French are using these poor, desperate refugees as pawns in their game of vengeful warfare against Britain, much like Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko is using thousands of refugees to attack the borders of Poland.

Meanwhile, in Blighty, there is an air of apathy within government, as Priti Patel is powerless to act in any way to stop the deluge of illegally crossing migrants. What ever happened to taking back control of Britain’s borders?

War Footing

This issue would no doubt be solved if someone took the illegal migrant deluge seriously, it should be in essence treated as if we are on a fucking war footing, but instead the government is caught in the headlights, with a seemingly rudderless leader floundering at the helm.

The migrant crossing problem could be solved in less than a week if the government implemented offshore vessels where the migrants would be kept indefinitely. No money should be wasted paying the French for anything. Agents should be sent to France to find and infiltrate people smuggler rings and bring them to the UK to be locked up for 40+ years each. People traffickers operate freely on social media sites like Facebook and are not afraid of any repercussions for their actions, because companies like Facebook turn a blind eye to their actions on that site.

The key is to make conditions so unpleasant for the people traffickers that they halt their actions. Migrants crossing illegally by law should be treated differently to migrants who apply legally to enter the UK. Illegally crossing migrants should be interned and then repatriated to holding camps on one of the British Isles, or offshore ships, they should never be allowed into Britain full stop.

The Royal Navy and coastguard need to actively deter migrants from crossing into British waters by giving the migrants illegally crossing two options only. Either be detained for an indefinite period of time and eventually repatriated somewhere else, or turn around and go back to France.

The Aussies have the right idea because when asylum seekers reach Australia by boat, they are not held in Australia, they are sent to an offshore processing centre. Australia has one such centre on the Pacific island nation of Nauru and another on Manus Island in Papua New Guinea.

Even if these asylum seekers are found to be refugees, they are NOT allowed to be settled in Australia. They may be settled in Nauru or Papua New Guinea. Britain has to have the same strict ideals when dealing with illegally crossing migrants as the Australians.

Unless Britain adopts the Australian method of dealing with illegally crossing migrants, it will flounder for many more decades in the same mire it is drowning in right now, with no effective policy to effectively alleviate the problem that keeps rearing its ugly head year after year. Controlling borders for any sovereign nation is of utmost import, and Britain must find ways of cutting down the vast influx of illegally crossing migrants or forever be lost in human illegal traffic that will only increase yearly if not handled properly now.

Top Tips for Choosing a Tattoo You Are Happy With

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There is no doubt that choosing a tattoo can be more than a slightly daunting decision. After all, you are getting something inked onto your body that is going to last for life – unless you take quite drastic and expensive steps to have it removed.

With this in mind, you certainly want to do everything that you can to ensure that you are making a choice that you are going to be happy with and not going to regret for any reason whatsoever. With this thought firmly in mind, the following blog post is all about the top tips for choosing a tattoo that you are happy with.

Do Your Research

mandala-1957167_1280At the early stages, it simply makes sense that you cast your eyes over as many different tattoos as possible. This way, you are really going to be able to get as much inspiration as you possibly can, which can help to inform your own decision.

As well as the research of the style of the tattoo itself, you could also look into other areas such as tattoo prices, as well as looking up the artist who you want to complete the job for you. Ultimately, it will help you out significantly if you are properly prepared and ready to have your tattoo rather than making it a spur of the moment decision for any reason whatsoever.

Imagine How it Will Look

Once you have settled on a design that you think will look great, you do not want to have it inked onto your arm as soon as possible. Instead, you should spend a period of time working out exactly what it is going to look like on your body. As well as imagining the good elements, also think about anything that may pose a potential problem. For example, are you going to need to have it covered up when you go to work? Ultimately, thinking about these issues sooner rather than later is going to help you out significantly in the long run.

Speak to Others Who Have Had Them

By speaking to other people who have had tattoos in the past, it makes sense that you speak to them to find out their own feelings about choosing a design that they were happy with. You should get as much info as possible from them and ask them the questions that are going to help put your mind at rest. If you do not know anyone directly, this is a question that you could always put out into the online world to get some of the responses that you are looking for.

By taking into account each one of these top tips, you help to increase the odds that you are going to get a tattoo that you are happy with now and one that remains with you in a positive way throughout your life. So, make sure that you take your time to get it right.

No Mention of BLM Man Who Killed and Injured Multiple Innocents in Democrat-Run Media

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Much like the gaslighting of the Vegas shooting, the murders of innocents in Waukesha have been ignored completely by the American socialist media.

MSNBC has not even mentioned it, neither has CNN nor all the other socialist run networks in the USA.

To have a domestic BLM terrorist killing women and children at a Christmas Parade by brutally running them over in a vehicle is obviously not of any value because it does not enrage leftists.

One can only assume they are breaking open the champagne bottles at these American supposed ‘news’ networks at a job well done by the BLM activist who carried out the attack.

Not even a peep from Biden, or his evil administration. Conservative and libertarian people are detested this much by the Mainstream Media in America, they ignore entire massacres of white people by blacks.

Revealed: Darrell Brooks Jr. BLM Activist and Rapper Murdered 5 Children at Christmas Parade

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Darrell Brooks Jr. had written about the Kenosha, Rittenhouse verdict on his Facebook page, and as a BLM activist and career criminal, saw his actions of ploughing through a Christmas Parade of children and elderly white Americans as justice for his perceived injustice of the Kyle Rittenhouse acquittal.

This was a racist act, a black man targeting white people. Racism goes all ways, and is not just about white people being racist against dark people, it can be black people against other black or brown people or black people against white people.

According to police records, Darrell Brooks Jr. has quite a long rap sheet, and was still out on bail when he committed his latest crime of killing 5 children and injuring over 40 others by driving his SUV at speed into the Christmas parade crowd.

Screenshot-2021-11-22-at-12.31.29

 

Due to the insane levels of anger that these BLM people have, it is granted that even more of these terrible incidents will occur as more unhinged BLM operatives let loose to commit their dirty deeds against their ultimate enemy — white people.

Rioting and looting at any form of perceived injustice committed against black people specifically by whites, there is a serious racial soup of hatred being mixed up in a cauldron of shit in America, simply because many black people do not have the capacity to catch up to the white population. Even Asians and other races that come to America start up successful businesses and careers in a short period of time, because they are capable, whilst blacks are left behind. It is obviously frustrating for many African Americans, who can only see crime as their way forward, or sports, or rapping. That’s it though.

It can only be hoped that one day something is done to appease the African American population peacefully, maybe the U.S. government should give them their own area of America, so they can fuck that up too with drugs and crime. Despite a massive proliferation of Affirmative Action, African Americans still cannot get ahead.

Maybe a civil war is the only way forward to finally put America on the right path, because to have this constant thorn in its side is killing the nation from the inside. Give African Americans their Independence Day, give them their own place to govern themselves how they wish, hell, they can even call it Wakanda if they so wish. Sure, they will soon be asking for financial assistance and food aid after a short while, but the problem will be supplanted to another zone far away from others who can actually succeed in life.

America is now standing at its eternal crossroads…