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Hunter: “Pops Paid For My Crack. So What?”

Annie Chik
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Hunter: “Pops Paid For My Crack. So What?”

People should get over the fact that Hunter Biden paid for his crack and Russian trafficked sex slave prostitutes, thankfully from money donated by his father. Who is Hunter Biden’s dad? That is protected information — Nothing to see here! Please disperse!

Biased Democrat funded fact-checkers are now working overtime at the moment to repair any damage to the Biden crime syndicate ‘reputation’ by denigrating anything posted anywhere as ‘fake news’ or even worse — ‘conspiracy theories’.

biased search results

None of this ever happened, what you read and see about Hunter Biden and “The Big Guy” are not true in any way.

Please go back to reading manufactured propaganda stories from some Democrat-run news service. Please also remember that the people mentioned in this or any article related in any way to the Biden crime family are above all laws, press scrutiny, taxation and are free to do whatever they want without any form of repercussion that would apply to any other citizen if they had committed these heinous acts.

This article does not exist.

 

Vote For Recession Rishi at Your Peril

Annie Chik
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Vote For Recession Rishi at Your Peril

Socialist spender Rishi Sunak gave £50,000 to a crack addict during the Covid Lockdown spending spree. Naturally, the addict used the money to buy more cocaine and snort it up his fucking nose. Losing £16 billion to fraud during the lockdown, Rishi Sunak did not even attempt to recoup the money, instead he pretended it never happened, writing it off.

Instead of letting loss making businesses fail naturally, Sunak started a profligate socialist spending spree using money that the UK just doesn’t have and will find hard to pay off.

How did Rishi Sunak and his Treasury fix the economy after the pandemic lockdowns ended? Like any good socialist, he put up taxes to levels not seen since Clement Atlee in the 1950s. Add that shit in with hyperinflation and insane cost of living rises, and what do you get? Well, recession is imminent, and it won’t be a pretty one either. We are talking depression levels of recession that may last for decades.

Any Tory who votes for Rishi Sunak is not a Tory, but should join Labour. Rishi Sunak is decapitating business by increasing corporation tax, killing off small business and condemning millions of Britons to a fate of prolonged poverty barely existing from pay cheque to pay cheque.

Killing off the entrepreneurial spirit and dissuading many businesses from coming to Britain, Sunak has fucked Britain up the ass.

If Rishi Sunak becomes the next PM, prepare for complete recession and depression in the UK that will last for decades.

Why Racist Harry is Not Racist Anymore

Annie Chik
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Why Racist Harry is Not Racist Anymore

According to Hollywood psychologist Dr Maria Prongs, Prince Harry is not racist anymore despite his past actions. He once called a Sandhurst colleague Ahmed Raza Khan a “Paki” whilst filming his army chums at an airport. Harry also liked to dress in Nazi garb for parties replete with swastikas, and called another colleague a “rag head”.

“Harry is not racist because he married a mulatto woman who is whiter than white itself. Meghan is about as black as a snow covered mountain. This is why it is ridiculous that Harry says the royal family is racist, because Harry is as racist as anyone, but not racist anymore because he married Meghan Markle,” the psychologist revealed.

Ovid Scoobie, the couple’s spokesperson also backed up Prince Harry much to celebrations from the “Sussex Squad” fans.

“It’s impossible for Harry to be racist even though he looks down on Pakis, rag heads etc. If he had married a real full on black woman and had actual black kids, then he would truly be deemed as non-racist but instead he married a white half African American who probably looks down on coloured people as well when indoors. You see, it’s okay to be racist when there are no cameras around in the safety of your Montecito Mcmansion.”

Democrats to Hold Permanent Investigations On Trump For Rest of Time

Annie Chik
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Democrats to Hold Permanent Investigations On Trump For Rest of Time

The Democrat Party today announced they will be holding rolling investigations and court cases against Donald Trump indefinitely until the end of time.

“If Trump drops his tooth brush on the fuckin’ floor, we will have a full governmental congressional investigation costing millions of taxpayers dollars into that shit,” Democrat, Nancy Pelosi announced on Tuesday.

Not only will there be a constant stream of expensive useless investigations, but Trump will also be targeted by the IRS whatever he does on a constant basis and parking violations will be handed out to the Don ad infinitum without any form of evidence.

“We set the FBI, NSA, IRS, ATF, CIA, and every other government agency within the state’s apparatus to harass and punish Donald Trump simply on the basis that he exists,” another Democrat revealed to great applause.

The investigations will be ongoing until the end of time.

No! Mo is Not Mo No More

Annie Chik
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No! Mo is Not Mo No More

Sir Mo Farah is apparently not Sir Mo Farah and he was never Mo Farah in the first place, apparently.

Sir Mo Farah who was even knighted by the Queen for his marathon running skills is now technically not a Sir because she knighted someone with a completely different name.

In other news, I did not write this article and am a completely different person to the person you think wrote this piece of crap because if it was written by a real writer the piece would be really witty and funny but instead someone else wrote this therefore I am off the hook.

Prince Charles is not Prince Charles as well. He has just confessed to the media that he is in fact a Romanian migrant called Vasile Dracul from Wallachia, Transylvania, a distant cousin of some chap called Vlad.

Airlines Now Wishing There Was Another Lockdown

Annie Chik
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Airlines Now Wishing There Was Another Lockdown

The idiotic and greedy airlines who were decrying lockdowns during the Covid pandemic are now ironically wishing that we were all in lockdown again. Flight cancellations, staff shortages, no baggage handlers and airport clusterfucks mean taking a holiday for an ordinary person will require three-day waits with little or no information in packed boarding halls where people have nervous breakdowns and punch ups erupt every five minutes.

Modern air travel in the current climate is an ordeal many sane people would do anything to avoid, and yet there are thousands of idiots who are programmed to buy holidays in some shit-hole Spanish package holiday destination.

The airlines are their own worst enemy because they enable the hundreds of thousands of morons to subject themselves to travel torture by lowering ticket prices to fill planes that cannot be serviced and airports that do not have the staff anymore.

With stupidity on both sides in plentiful supply, the insanity will continue ad infinitum.

Going on holiday abroad? Ah, good for you! Pay no attention to the fact that these creaky overused aircraft do not have the proper staff numbers to check the planes before they take off. It’s okay, just don’t think about the fact that metal fatigue is a real thing, and the necessary checks before departing did not take place.

Enjoy your holiday. You deserve it.

Gov. Can Lower Tax Tomorrow by Dumping Big State

Annie Chik
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Gov. Can Lower Tax Tomorrow by Dumping Big State

Imagine the amount of savings the government and taxpayer could make tomorrow if many of the useless civil servants working from home were fired immediately? The Big State is an enormous monstrosity that needs to be whittled down to the bare essentials.

Dump the useless QUANGOs spending trillions of taxpayers money on ineffectual tripe. Dump the lazy civil servants working from home in their pyjamas with vast salaries on useless jobs that need no skill and benefit no one apart from the civil servants.

Dump the myriad of governmental departments that serve no purpose at all and were creations of the Labour government of the past. Dump the useless local government council officials on £700,000 per annum sitting on their fat arses farting down phone lines, working two days a week and taking holidays in Barbados every three weeks.

Dump the useless fucks in City Hall, and TfL who through their Marxist fervour seem to enjoy their £350,000 salaries and gold-plated pensions whilst attending the occasional soviet committee meeting where they can discuss how to tax Londoners further for merely driving on the cunting roads.

Dump the entire fucking lot. The Big State is a sovietised construct. The people want lower taxes, and governmental efficiency — not this fucking bloated monstrosity of a government that trundles along like a fat slug over your prize courgettes.

Fucking DUMP THEM ALL!

Then, you can give us a tax cut.

Daily Squib Giving Away 100 Free Holidays to Sri Lanka

Annie Chik
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Daily Squib Giving Away 100 Free Holidays to Sri Lanka

Ooh! Aren’t you a lucky one? You are about to get the opportunity to win a free holiday in Sri Lanka and enjoy some serious sun and fun by the pool. It’s only the best for our readers. Check this out, bozos! You will be staying at President Gotabaya Rajapaksa’s presidential palace, with all amenities free to use for as long as you want. Yes, you read that right, you will be able to stay at the presidential palace for as long as you want.

The all-inclusive package includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and as much booze as you can drink. All competition winners have to do is walk into any store in the centre of Colombo that has not been completely looted, and take what you can carry.

Rooms at the palace come on a first-come-first-served basis, plus guests may have to share rooms with a minimum of 60-100 Sri Lankans.

There is a luxury pool in the palace, however please be mindful to the 10,000 other Sri Lankan citizens in the pool at all times of the day and night. Urinating and defecating in pools is seen as completely normal behaviour, as well as pinching both nostrils and snotting loudly into the bubbly pool water.

Amongst the finery and paintings of the palace, guests can enjoy the gym facilities for a full workout session if you can find a machine that is not being used by the hundreds of Sri Lankans in the hot sweaty room.

Sri Lanka Palace Hotel Competition Entry

To enter the competition and win an amazing Sri Lankan palace holiday, simply answer this question.

When there’s no food reserves left, what do people do?

a) Riot

b) Loot

c) Topple the government

d) All of the above

Please send your answer on a postcard to Squib Lanka Comp. P.O. Box 342, London, WX3 T2X by the 20th July.

Paulie Walnuts RIP

Annie Chik
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Paulie Walnuts RIP

You take the HD TV from Paulie Walnuts or else.

As for Big Pussy, it was a sad day when he got whacked on the boat, at least they left his face out of it.

That fuckin’ poison ivy comin’ up during the psychic session sure freaked Paulie out — “fuckin’ queers!”

Just don’t let Paulie talk to you’se when you’re in a fuckin’ coma.

“Stugats!”

 

Are You Ready For Greasy?

Annie Chik
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0
Are You Ready For Greasy?

You can’t get smoother than a greasy oil laden Rishi Sunak promotional video. First out of the traps, he is apparently leading the field and flying ahead like grease lightning in the race to replace the ousted Boris Johnson.

What are Sunak’s credentials to become the next prime minister of Britain?

Apart from being a backstabber, Sunak offers some hard lessons for Britons by doing “what is right, despite the pain”. In other words, be prepared for more high taxation for a prolonged period of time reducing spending, reducing business innovation and commerce in general.

Whoever thought that taxing people within an inch of their lives was good for an economy or stimulates economic growth obviously was not living in the real world. It’s all okay for Sunak in his massive mansion whose non-dom billionaire wife doesn’t even pay tax in Britain.

“The economic cogs are not greased, unlike my hair. They are instead solidly rusted unmoving cogs clogged with high taxes and costs stalling the economy, ruining the future for Britain and its children,” Sunak revealed in his video whilst adding even more grease to his already soppy oily hair.

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