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EU Energy Price Cap: 7% UK Price Cap: 80% – EU Brexit Punishment Continues

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“Because you are no longer members of the exclusive EU club like us who are still hooked up to the Russian gas pipes, we will punish you Britisher swine further by pushing up the gas and electricity delivered to you by 80%. How do you like that, English morons? Who says we are not vindictive evil swines in the EU?” one faceless unelected EU Commission autocrat yelled on Friday.

For Frack’s Sake!

Britons, despite living on an island full of gas and coal, are of course muzzled by the eco mob and globalist controllers who demand impossible things that will no doubt bankrupt the British economy. China has fired up over 100 coal powered facilities within the past 6 months, but no one says anything about that.

Winter is Coming

The energy price cap is set to rise to over £6,500 per annum, which will cripple millions of households and businesses across the UK this coming winter.

“Tie the huge energy price hikes with insane increases in interest rates, and my small business will not be profitable to run anymore. I have spoken to dozens of business owners and they are all in the same boat. We can’t afford to keep the lights on so that’s it,” Eric Smith, 46, a factory owner from Shropshire revealed.

With huge energy price rises, some businesses will try to pass the cost on to the customer by hiking their prices as well. Supermarket prices will increase, as will all other things that will still be on the shelves. Sales will invariably drop as no one will buy these products at overinflated prices.

Britain is being punished not only by the EU but by the globalists.

“Remember ze doodlebugs you British scum? Until you rejoin ze soviet fascist collectivist EU bloc again unt resume cash-cow status feeding ze most impoverished EU sektors, ve vill continue punishing you Britisher scum! Fuckenzie you! Heil EU!” German MEP, Otto von Scheister shouted from his EU parapet.

Meanwhile, in Russia, Vladimir Putin chuckles to himself, pours himself another glass of Polonium-210 and answers another fawning call from his dear friend Macron of France.

Disgraceful Macron Caught Fuelling Putin’s Warplanes

Daily Squib Tips to Survive Huge Interest Rate Hikes

Meghan Markle Podcast: ‘I loved talking about important topics about myself’

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The Archehole Meghan Markle podcast was a great success because it was all about Markle’s favourite subject — herself.

“I talked about myself and how I changed the world single-handedly because the world revolves around my head. If it was not for my intervention when I was 11-years-old women’s rights would be still in the Stone Age. I am such a brilliant, wonderful person. I am also very clever and intelligent, and I am beautiful. I am the epitome of brilliance, and I shine a light into the world with all my amazing words.

“I thoroughly enjoyed talking about myself for over an hour and wanted to show the world that it’s not all about others, but it is about me, myself and I.

“I want to help young women to be as empowered as I am. If you can stay awake for more than a minute after I start speaking about myself and spouting woke word salad diarrhoea from my well-used mouth. This is not just about me, but about my dedication to myself.”

Spotify shares dropped a further 30% in after market trading yesterday.

Latest Daily Squib Podcast Episode – Anyone Can Listen

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Och aye, this podcasting lark is not an easy thing to do. It is quite demanding because recording vocals in a decent way with the right compression, levels and all the other blah, blah stuff is rather tiresome, but it is a new direction for the Squib, therefore ahead we plough on.

In the latest episode a certain movie is referenced. Wonder if you can guess which one it is? In fact, the B-film was so bad that it was actually brilliant.

There is also a completely improvised insanely noisy guitar solo in there somewhere, as well as a few philosophical words to bring an element of thought in to the otherwise silly bits.

You can listen to the podcast here

 

URGENT: Looking for interesting guests to interview. Why not drop us a line at editorial (at) www.dailysquib.co.uk

 

 

Russian Scientists Working Day and Night to Create Putin 2.0

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The pictures and videos of Russian dictator Vladimir Putin show his deteriorating health daily on news clips broadcast all over the globe. However much the Kremlin tries to hide the fact that Putin is on borrowed time, and is suffering from a major terminal illness, the fact of the situation leaks out daily.

Professor Artyom Semyonov, a pioneering Kremlin scientist, has ordered the urgent creation of Putin 2.0 to transfer the mind of the ailing physical human form of Vladimir Putin completely into a digital robot of the Russian leader, the TASS news agency revealed on Monday.

“We are successfully transferring the mind of our supreme Russian leader into a robot. The robot is powered by Polonium-210, something our leader is very familiar with. We have Russia’s greatest scientists, technology whizz kids working on this project 24-hours a day.

“Most of the work has already been accomplished, and when the final transfer process is complete, the entire essence of Vladimir Putin will be transferred to the robot. When the human physical version ends its cell life and dies, Vladimir will simply wake up as the robot creation.”

The Putin 2.0 robot will be an AI assisted sentient being with the total brain scanned map of Vladimir Putin. Every signal pathway, neuron and dendrite has been mapped and recreated in the robot.

There are fears that the Putin 2.0 robot could be replicated and deployed en masse.

The Daily Squib Announces Pre-orders For Book

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The Daily Squib Anthology 2007 – 2022 first 150 copies will be signed by the author and will include 138 pages of Grade A satire that will publish previously internet censored material.

You can pre-order your copy here

If you order now, send a screengrab to editorial (at) www.dailysquib.co.uk and your name will be put in a hat to win an Amazon Fire tablet. (No terms or conditions apply)

Remember folks, if the apocalypse occurs after the book is delivered to you, the pages can be used as toilet paper in the event you run out of the real stuff.

LA Flash-Mob Looting Bonanza For ‘Young People’

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“The cops just stood by and watched!” one witness revealed. Flash-mob looting is certainly not something new. These groups of protected individuals are primarily made up of what is called ‘young people’ by the US media.

“It was just ‘young people‘ out shopping,” a local LA news anchor defended.

It is of course strictly not okay or permitted to describe these groups as anything but a bunch of ‘young people’ because that would of course be deemed as ‘racist’ by the politically correct mob who are supposed to control these areas.

“This is a daily occurrence in Democrat-run states and major metro zones. ‘Young people’ are just doing what they do best — looting. I also support Black Lives Matter doing whatever they have to do in our cities. They can come over to my home or business, loot it, burn it down and molest my family. I support them 110%,” Democrat Senator Weiner McCall told a fawning CNN anchor yesterday.

Think Tank: Build Back Better by Impoverishing Population

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Suppressing the economies of G7 economies so that eco targets can be reached is all part of the larger Great Reset.

By making everything more expensive for consumers by pushing up inflation, consumers eventually stop consuming. This contraction will be the new norm for the future. The goal is ultimately to impoverish people to the state of complete reliance on the state led eco drive dreamt up by globalist think tanks in darkened rooms.

There is no restitution, there will be no relief for the masses constantly attacked from all angles. Whether the medicine is forced starvation through impossible food price hikes, or traditional fossil fuel hikes, or through destitution via virus lockdowns, these deliberate planned operations are mere shakedowns designed purely to transfer wealth from the ordinary citizen to the machines of power.

Naturally, when the populace is squeezed to the limit, some quarters will push back. Luckily for the powers stripping the populace of their means for basic survival, the majority of the population are terminally brainwashed to obey authority at all costs, even if it is evident they are being overtly suppressed and robbed of their livelihoods.

The tragedy of the situation is that the population could halt their own demise within a few hours if everyone targeted stood up and acted, however the majority are either not aware, or too scared to act. Tax slavery amongst the cash cows is entrenched beyond any metric.

Imagine a man being turned upside down and all the contents of his trousers emptied onto the floor.

The post-consumerist age will be powered by AI, and it will not need you. It is possible therefore that the populace who have had all of their wealth stripped, will be given a measly monthly stipend to stop them rioting. Basic Universal Income will thus be the solution to a redundant work force who have been disenfranchised and robbed of their means to support themselves. Add in the variables of a top down ageing population within many Western nations and the terminal decline of private equity — the Great Reset/Build Back Better global solution wins every time.

Sadiq Khan’s Wonderful London Where 87-Year-Old Pensioners in Mobility Scooters Are Butchered

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What can we say about Sadiq Khan’s horrific London of today? The traffic jams rarely move, the polluted streets are filled with muck, the brutal daily violence is ignored and the inflation is so high people can barely survive.

Whoever voted for a second round of Sadiq Khan as London Mayor is complicit in murder, violent assaults, burglaries and a negligence of duty never witnessed before.

What brings a human to kill in cold blood an 87-year-old pensioner toddling on in their mobility scooter? Should these creatures even be called human, let alone animals? Animals, for a start, are far more noble creatures, and only act out of instinct.

London is now a cesspit of inequity, a forlorn nightmarish piss ridden expensive Portaloo of overflowing putrefying excrement. At least the Victorians had the courtesy to sweep the horse shit off the roads, but Sadiq Khan, an eternal disgrace, has turned London into a bloodied mess where every day the pavements are littered with needles, chewing gum, fag butts, used condoms, vomit, junk food wrappers, used toilet paper, blood splatters, and odd body parts from the latest gang violence.

The roaming marauding gangs make many parts of the city uninhabitable. If you are unlucky enough to venture into these areas, say goodbye because no one will come to your aid.

It does not matter if it is broad daylight, the police will not turn up, and ambulances usually take over two hours to turn up, if ever.

There is no redemption, there is no solution given. Instead, the victims are pilloried or arrested for daring to protect themselves. The horrifically unjust laws in Britain mean that anyone who defends themselves from an attacker, either in their own homes or in public, are liable for the safety of their attacker.

The attacker could kick your home’s door down and barge into your bedroom wielding a machete or gun. If you stop the attacker from killing you and your family, then you will be charged and sent to prison.

This is the level of socialism within the British legal system that makes it okay for scum to continue doing what they do every day.

Why be bothered? Committing crime pays very well in Britain today.

The piece of shit who murdered that 87-year-old man if caught will only get 6 months in a prison at most and will soon be out to commit more heinous acts of violence, courtesy of the British legal system.

We Reveal the Front Cover For “The Daily Squib Anthology 2007 – 2022”

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The Daily Squib newspaper will soon have its first book published. Today, we can finally reveal the front cover art work for the book. The Daily Squib Anthology 2007 – 2022 will soon be available in all book stores online and offline. The book will be a historical satirical anthology of our work on the internet during the formative stage of its development.

The DS has been a part of internet history since 2007, and witnessed the comings and goings of many presidents, prime ministers and celebrities. We have seen the changes on the internet and ideally grew up on here along with the multitude of people and companies who participate on this incredible communication medium called the World Wide Web.

Compiling this anthology has been both a challenge and a daring journey into the world of physical publishing. The amount of work conducted both in creating our site and articles daily as well as the book is astonishing. It was well worth the work, though.

We were there, we saw what happened, and we satirised internet history as it developed. We saw the news as it happened and channelled the Juvenalian scribe from 2,500 years ago to mix into the modern technical age of the 21st Century.

The Daily Squib Anthology 2007 – 2022 will be released soon

Biden Announces Inflation Reduction Act to Increase Inflation

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Joe Biden says he will introduce the Inflation Reduction Act so that America is further bankrupted and inflation continues to rise daily.

“I’m giving $369 billion of your taxpayers’ money back to you so you are forced to spend your money on lame projects that bleed money but are supposed to address the climate crisis. You will have to buy a heat pump which is highly expensive, inefficient and breaks down constantly. Service repairs for heat pumps will cost your families huge amounts of money you won’t have, therefore you will be stuck in winter with no heat. It’s either getting a huge repair bill or feeding your family. Hey, I’m Joe Biden, I’m giving you that dire choice. Also, I am putting your taxpayers money into clean energy eco companies that will suck up the cash within a year or two then go belly up. How good is that? Just think, American folks will give these young eco entrepreneurs tonnes of cash in government subsidies and handouts, so they can live lavishly for a year or two before they get their begging bowls out once again.

“I’m also going to make damn sure to tax large companies in the US within an inch of their lives, so either they will leave these shores permanently, or divert all of their money to offshore accounts in places like Belize, Panama and the Cayman Islands. Because of my stupid policies, America will become not only an expensive place to do business, but due to my actions, inflation will increase by about 40%.

“What you think about that folks? Jibboom, dinga, dinga, mumble, mong fart!”

As Joe Biden turned around from the podium making his stupid announcement, he shook hands with the air for the fourth time this month. He then patted the air behind him and excused himself as he walked into a wall.