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Portrait of Remona Lisa Goes Missing From Louvre

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Portrait of Remona Lisa Goes Missing From Louvre

The world renowned Remona Lisa portrait which many Remoaners cite as an iconic piece of art summing up their plight after Brexit has gone missing from the Louvre Museum in Paris.

Police commissioner, Gascon du Merde was adament that the priceless piece of Remoaner art will be found soon.

“We will search every part of Paris and France for this portrait until it is found. It is a very important piece of Remoaner art and exemplifies the folly of Brexit by the Rosbifs.”

Remoaners triggered

It is not known who took the painting or why it was pilfered from the Louvre, but some are suspecting a Brexiteer may have had something to do with it.

“The Remona Lisa exemplified the sadness of the Remoaners in leaving Europe. For them, to be part of a soviet collectivist bloc resembling the USSR was paramount to their general makeup and ideology. To be ordered around by unelected faceless autocrats in the EU Commission was a dream for these Remoaners. They do not value freedom, sovereignty or eventual riches that will occur with Brexit. Instead, under Brexit, every day is a moment of dire sadness where these Remoaners moan and moan on places like Twitter about how miserable they are. This is why the Remona Lisa portrait is such a terrible loss for them,” the Louvre Museum’s curator, Jean Michel Cochon revealed.

If anyone sees or hears about the Remona Lisa please contact the Louvre Museum directly.

Harry: “Dad, I’m Home Plus Brought the Wife”

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Harry: “Dad, I’m Home Plus Brought the Wife”

News from the palace is that when Harry and his wife announced an impromptu trip back to Britain, many senior royals were about as happy about the news as receiving a swift kick to the lower regions.

For two years now, this odious couple have been attacking the Windsors for monetary gain, and many are seeing the terrible toll on the Queen’s health. Prince Philip was offed by the constant nefarious Meghan Markle and Harry media attacks, and now it seems they have set their sights on the poor Queen.

“She cannae tak’ no more, captain,” a Scottish doctor who looks after the Queen’s ticker whilst in Balmoral revealed on Sunday.

No doubt, Harry and Meghan will be followed everywhere with a Netflix crew in tow, and this UK trip is purely opportunistic.

Meghan further kicked the royals in a recent magazine interview, where the deluded power-mad narcissist likened herself to Nelson Mandela.

The muzzled royals cannot, due to royal protocol, answer back directly to the constant attacks from this poisonous couple, so naturally every day involves bracing for more horrible attacks on the family.

The ultimate question is, of course, if Harry and Meghan hate the royals so much, why are they still touting their own so-called royal status? Well, money is the reason for that question, obviously. Without the Sussex title, they would not get as many dollars selling their duplicitous wares to dumb American executives

Many in the UK and now even in the US. are baffled as to why Harry and Meghan are not stripped of their titles once and for all?

Makita Tool Box: Based On Your Requirements

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Makita Tool Box: Based On Your Requirements

A high-quality Makita tool box is an excellent investment for true craftspeople. If you have special compact storage for the instruments, they will be concentrated in one location and neatly distributed into compartments. All of the small details are distributed in their proper places here, for example, by organizers integrated into the lid.

Tool storage from Makita

You can find any Makita box at a good price in our online store. There are large Makita stackable tool boxes in the catalog for storing small parts and fasteners. A strong handle for carrying the tool box is not the last role. A Makita tool box on wheels is a good option for storing large assembly instruments. The huge capacity of such plastic containers is an undeniable advantage. The internal compartment is not cluttered with extraneous protrusions that interfere with the tool’s location. Makita brand durable plastic organizers — the most well-known and authoritative global manufacturer of hand instruments and related products. Our inventory includes containers made of durable plastic with dependable locks.

Makita Tool Box

 

How to choose a tool box

Welcome to our online store if you are looking for a small organizer with fixed compartments or a large container. On Uk Planet Tools site you can find Black Friday deals on power tools and tools boxes of any kind.

Many factors influence the choice and purchase, including employment details, working conditions, workload, and so on. Keep in mind that the Makita tool box set must be large enough to hold all of your essential power devices.

These simple guidelines will assist you in your selection process:

  • Pay close attention to the bottom of the container;
  • The walls are next in line;
  • The lid serves two primary functions: protection against the ingress of various liquids or debris, and comfortable transportation;
  • Additional case functionality — various niches, compartments, and trays for folding small parts such as screws, bolts, nails, and so on;
  • Category, size and standard — final conditions.

Order the product based on your requirements. The purpose will determine whether the box is closed or open, large or small, with or without additional accessories.

Contact our consultants if you are unable to make a decision or if you require qualified advice. You can rely on us for practical advice on the selection, use, and maintenance of any product from our online catalog.

Do you require a portable tool box? Are you looking for the best way to store and transport frequently used hand tools? Call, come in, purchase, and enjoy!

Should We Be Celebrating the World’s Favourite Beer?

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Should We Be Celebrating the World’s Favourite Beer?

There’s long been conversations on what should and shouldn’t be celebrated in the media, and what can and can’t be advertised. For example, the promotion of cigarettes has long gone, with any form of advertising even removed from the labels.

Sports betting is following a similar pathway, and while in the USA more sports teams are seeking sponsorship from betting companies as laws are eased, the rest of the world are seemingly cutting down on how betting companies can or can’t operate, even preventing famous faces being associated with them.

And then there’s alcohol…

Alcohol advertising is somewhat limited. There are only particular times of the day, while gone are the days when companies could say anything like “Guinness is good for you”. But yet, anyone can be the face of a beer company, and adverts are always oozing style and sophistication, encouraging us to be that person by drinking that beer. And we all fall for it.

Today, the most popular beers in the world make for an interesting read, and by sales, it currently looks as follows:

1.Snow
2.Budweiser
3.Tsingtao
4.Bud Light
5.Skol
6.Heineken
7.Harbin
8.Yangjing
9.Corona
10.Coors Light

Interestingly, the Asian market has really taken off, with the likes of Snow and Harbin not readily available elsewhere in the world, while the likes of Heineken, Budweiser and Corona remain a constant.

But nowhere on Heineken or Carlsberg adverts do you see the health implications. Is it time that we should?

Rather than celebrating what is “probably the best beer in the world”, should governments be placing legislation in place to highlight the harm alcohol can do, just as cigarettes do?

How much do you love beer? Is it enough to develop liver disease or digestive problems? Is it enough to come home after a night in the pub and hit a partner? Because there are clear connections between the consumption of beer, or alcohol in general, and such instances.

There are certainly calls for how alcohol is marketed to be more stringent and much more in line with cigarettes and gambling, the latter of which is starting to get tighter as problem gambling continues to rise.

There has been a rise in people suffering with alcohol addiction too, though, and that can’t be ignored. Of course, that shouldn’t stop people enjoying a pint of beer, just as the tightening of gambling in many parts of the world shouldn’t stop people having a bet. But rather encouraging people to do so in moderation…

South Africans Liken Meghan Markle to Robert Mugabe NOT Nelson Mandela

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South Africans Liken Meghan Markle to Robert Mugabe NOT Nelson Mandela

Millions of outraged South Africans have flown into a rage after foot-in-mouth Meghan Markle likened herself to iconic South African freedom fighter — Nelson Mandela.

Many took to social media to voice their outrage this week.

Bandile Zadsisai, 26, from Cape Town wrote on his blog:

“She [Meghan Markle] is not welcome in South Africa anymore. When that didi malebe said she was like Nelson Mandela I spit my coffee all over the PC computer. Meghan Markle is more like Robert Mugabe. He was also a liar, a dictator and lived in mansions with 16 bathrooms just like Meghan. Mugabe would travel everywhere in a private jet and thought he was king of Africa!”

Others on social media were similarly outraged, and also cited deceased African dictator Robert Mugabe as more of an apt resemblance to Meghan Markle.

High School student, Amogelang Chidubem, 19, from Bloemfontein wrote on social media:

“Febeh Meghan Markle makes me physically want to vomit. The mampara come here with hundreds piece of luggage, and her staff of 30 including a team of people just to do her nasty toenails. Everywhere she goes there are 50 or so limousines and polluting SUV cars. She then says she is like Nelson Mandela the father of South Africa. She does not have one single gram of Mandela not one! We are now saying she is more like Robert Mugabe who bankrupted his country because of his own greed for power and money. Meghan Markle is a tikiline zhulingu Robert Mugabe living in his palaces! Go to hell GOLO Markle do not come back here ever again!”

There was no answer yet from Meghan Markle’s extensive team of PR and propaganda teams to the angry South African reactions.

Why China Reselling Russian Gas to EU Makes a Mockery of Sanctions

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Why China Reselling Russian Gas to EU Makes a Mockery of Sanctions

What use are sanctions on Russia when all the gas is doing is going around the world, then eventually returning to the EU?

“It’s a round trip gas bubble about to burst. The Russians sell the gas to the Chins. Then they increase the price substantially and ship it to the EU from China at a massive markup. But, hey, at least the EU can say it is not buying Russian gas then, even though it is,” Xing Xong Wong, a gas tanker captain said as he set off for another long shipment to the EU.

Meanwhile, in Paris and Berlin, many officials were extremely quiet as hundreds of ships have been ferrying Russian gas to the EU. In Athens, they’re also counting their ill-gotten gains because business has been very good for the Greek oil and gas freight ships ferrying Russian gas to the EU.

“Well, what is the problem? It may have started off as Russian gas, but when it went to China it was renamed as Chinese gas,” a fat Greek oil magnate revealed from his yacht in the Aegean.

Naturally, all these roundabout trips across thousands of miles of ocean must be doing some serious damage to the environment. Where is Greta Thunberg now?

Thanks to the EU and China, Russia is being supported financially and is rearming its military, despite with alleged heavy losses in the battlefields of Ukraine. Instead of being dependent on Russia for gas, Europe is now becoming dependent on Beijing instead for its energy — which is still Russian gas, only this time imported from China.

As Joe Biden sleeps and farts in his bed — China and Russia are laughing themselves all the way to the bank.

What we just wrote above is not happening, you did not see that…shhhh…the EU is silent as well…it is not happening.

Meghan Markle Features in American Magazine The Cu*t

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Meghan Markle Features in American Magazine The Cu*t

It’s a hard life, while people around the world are suffering and in the UK millions will have to make a choice between heating themselves or feeding their children this winter, along comes The Cu*t — and Meghan Markle moaning about how hard her life is living in a 16-bathroom Monticito McMansion. What an utter cu*t, you may utter under your breath.

Cu*t featured in The Cu*t magazine

Meghan Markle has been complaining again, this time in some tiresome soporific shallow magazine called The Cu*t.

“I have 16 bathrooms and 19 bedrooms in this awful McMansion….yadda yadda yadda….woke word salad….race card….yadda yadda yadda…n-word…..yadda yadda yadda….sustainable coffee…etc., etc.”

Next week in The Cu*t Meghan Markle continues moaning about even more ridiculous crap in her privileged life of fake virtue signalling perpetual victimhood. Be sure to read the next episode in the continuing saga — either that or watch wet paint dry. It is infinitely more interesting.

My Son Hunter – New Film Exposes US Election 2020

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My Son Hunter – New Film Exposes US Election 2020

Remember the US ELECTION in 2020? Remember the Ashley Biden diary, which revealed how her dad used to have explicit showers with her when she was a child? Remember the Hunter Biden videos showing him smoking crack and having sex with prostitutes? Well, none of that happened because there was a massive cover-up by the press. It was ghosted/erased/deleted/vapourised from all news desks. The details and news was all covered-up by the social-media sites.

As a result, Joe Biden ‘won’ the election. Amongst all the dead voters who voted Democrat, and the ‘alleged’ mass election fraud that took place…nothing could stop Joe Biden winning the US election. It was written in stone a year before the event, and the vast planning as well as logistics along with gargantuan amounts of money put into the effort of skewing the election, finally paid off.

So, Joe Biden won? Life is great, huh? It all worked out for the better. Sure it did. We are now dealing with an impending global depression, war, hyperinflation, increased poverty for all and a Biden administration who are completely clueless deluded denizens of absolute destruction. Americans who instated Biden into his position of power will regret that fateful decision when circumstances become a lot worse in the future. This is just the beginning.

Would anything be different right now if eternal ‘bad guy’ Trump had won the election in 2022? That doesn’t matter folks, what matters is that the election was skewed because the Hunter Biden stuff was ghosted. That is a form of manipulation, it is a form of electioneering, and it means that in the internet era…democracy does not exist. Search engine results can favour certain news organisations to others, and social media companies can ban or shadow-ban any form of political opposition to their own biased political beliefs.

There is no way any democracy can survive if, through media/internet manipulation and ghosting, the voice of others who relay the truth are silenced? The Democrats will continue doing this over and over again, because it is now a winning formula to skew elections in their favour. They control the main components of the media, and can silence anything or elevate anything they want to adjust public opinion. What will be the point of successive future elections in the future when only one political party has the omnipotent voice?

Yes, it has taken years to achieve this level of control, but it works now more than ever. We are now living in a scary era where democracy is being supplanted by totalitarianism…and it will get a lot worse if these evil, manipulative thieves are allowed to get away with it.

My Son Hunter — it’s low budget, tongue-in-cheek, cheesy, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Watch it for fun, even though the underlying truth of the film is a vicious tale of how the West embraced totalitarianism over democracy in the end.

10 Ways to Warm Yourself in Winter Without Gas or Electricity

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10 Ways to Warm Yourself in Winter Without Gas or Electricity

Here at the Squib we like to think we care for our readers, and this is why we are going to give you 10 tips you may find useful that will help you survive this coming winter when energy prices rise by over 90%.

warm winter

10 Tips to Stay Warm in Winter

  1. Wear 10 – 20 layers of clothes at all times, even in bed. Your clothes should preferably be made from the finest Scottish or Welsh sheep’s wool. If you can’t get wool, you can shave your cat or dog, if you still have one, and stick the fur with glue on any jacket. Also wrapping yourself with a layer of newspaper might make a difference but probably won’t.
  2. Have a freezing cold shower in the mornings, as this will invigorate your system and warm you up naturally. If you show symptoms of hypothermia, or your toes fall off from frostbite, find solace in the fact that hospitals usually have their radiators switched on.
  3. Build a fireplace if you already do not have one in your home. You can burn pretty much anything in a fire to make heat, including books from your library, furniture, and devalued pound notes that are now completely worthless bits of paper.
  4. Run everywhere. You need a cup of cold tea? Run to the kitchen fast. You need to go to the toilet for a pee? Run to the toilet and back. Be careful not to trip up and do yourself an injury. Running everywhere will build up a sweat. Remember ‘elf ‘n’ safety’.
  5. Stay in bed all day. That’s what the poor do in winter. Now that everyone will be poor, you will have to do that as well.
  6. Get into fights. Yes, there’s nothing like a good punch up to bring up the heat. Don’t worry, if you get a few bruises or black eyes, because you’ll feel nice and warm from exerting yourself.
  7. Commit a crime, so you go to prison. This one is rather open-ended, risky, but pays off well. In prison, the heat is on 24-hours a day. Plus, if you get gang-raped by the nonces that will further bring up the temperature, albeit with a sore arse to contend with. In British jails you get to play PS5 X-box all day in your cell, get tonnes of free food, as much drugs and booze as you want and everything is paid for by the taxpayer.
  8. Try and escape Britain during the winter. If you have the ability or money to escape Britain, then exercise the means to do so. You could be on a beach in Phuket, Thailand with a drink in one hand and a Thai party girl you hired for the day on the other.
  9. Have lots of sex. Yep, find someone to have sex with and do it for hours on end if you can manage that. Sexual activity certainly will keep you warm during the cold winter months.
  10. Rub yourself with Vix vaporub every five minutes to keep warm. Watch out for your lower regions though because that stuff is like napalm if it touches your genitals.
  11. BONUS TIP Get naked and jump into a field of nettles. If that doesn’t warm you up — nothing will.

Britain Sitting on Huge Enormous Gas Reserves

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Britain Sitting on Huge Enormous Gas Reserves

What’s this price cap crap? They are now saying that energy prices will rise by 80% by October. Fuck that! Did you know that the British Isles hold ginormous amounts of gas reserves which can be tapped at will easily?

“Yes, we have vast amounts of gas reserves in the UK ready and willing to be tapped. It’s all located right here in the Houses of Parliament. After we tap all the MPs, there will be so much gas that it will be almost given away for free,” an honourable member of parliament revealed today.

Experts have estimated that one month of parliament could supply enough gas for the next 200 years for the UK.

How Will it be Done?

  • Hoses will be fitted in the House of Commons and House of Lords.
  • All MPs and Lords will be milked of their gaseous excretions directly from their arses and also whenever they speak.
  • Pumping stations within parliament will then deliver the gas to households all across the UK.

Well, that solves the gas problem, but what about electricity?

“We’re still working on that. Any ideas anyone has, please forward them to us?” The UK’s energy regulator OFGEM spokesman, Butler Ohms, revealed on the BBC.

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