17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeMost PopularBoycott Gordon Brown's Labour Government: Don't Buy Petrol

Boycott Gordon Brown’s Labour Government: Don’t Buy Petrol

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib wants you to boycott the Labour government's disastrous plan to increase fuel duty by another 15 pence.

ai

After Gordon Brown’s government gave away trillions of taxpayers money to the bankers, sold off Britain’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market, gave Britain away to the EU, devalued the pound by over 43%, threw away billions in wasteful bureaucratic tin pot ideas and squandered our cash on useless wars, they now want to rob us with even more fuel tax rises.

Thanks to Gordon Brown you will see the cost of a litre of unleaded soar from 108p to 123p – or nearly £5.60 ($9.20) a gallon.

Petrol will rise by 5p a litre by the spring and 10p by the autumn as the cash-strapped Government raises taxes from motorists to pay off its massive debts, said the Petrol Retailers’ Association.

Already 70% of the fuel price is tax revenue for the government. By raising the price to £1.25, the ratio will increase to over 83% of the price. Nowhere in the world is petrol this expensive. This coupled with the increase in VAT tax back to 17.5% will ensure that Britain stays in Labour-created recession for another 20 years. Don’t forget that interest rates are set to rise again, so get ready for the mortgage shock of a lifetime when your mortgage payments increase by £400/month.

“Labour is going to take Britain back to the stone age,” a distraught motorist told the Squib yesterday.

This is a Daily Squib campaign to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Dear readers, pass this on to your friends, your enemies and anyone who will listen. We can do something, we can make a difference, we can stop the utter madness.

Here is what YOU can do:

1. If we all stopped buying petrol for one day, we could make a difference. We could shut down the system for one day. Realistically this is not going to happen, but you can spend less at the pumps. Only use your car for essential journeys. Dump your car for a day. Do not buy petrol. Walk!

2. With the massive increase in fuel tax, be prepared to see the price of food go through the roof. Thanks to Gordon Brown, you will soon be seeing your loaf of bread rising to over £6.50 if you’re lucky.

3. Get on your bike and use it more often. You will notice the health benefits as well, although on England’s narrow roads there is a risk of being permanently maimed or killed when hit by a foreign lorry delivering stuff which our hauliers cannot afford to do anymore.

4. Food and water is man’s greatest concern and essential for survival. Why not try being more self sufficient and growing your own fruit and vegetables? This way you will not be reliant on the motorcar to get your groceries, or the supermarkets who sell the population expensive goods steeped in chemicals and wrapped in toxic BPA plastics.

5. Cut down use on public transport. Remember, that if you support public transport in any way you are also supporting the punishing fuel taxes.

6. Sell your car. It’s not worth running it or being a cash cow so that the government can give taxpayers money away to scroungers and useless tinpot schemes.

7. Never vote Labour ever, ever again. They have brought us to this level and they will take us lower.

8. Gordon Brown’s government is currently conducting a punishing scorched earth policy on the population and economy, so hang in there and please do not buy any more petrol unless for essential use.

9. Try reducing petrol intake. For example, if you can afford to spend £5 on fuel, try to reduce your intake to £3 and drive less. Remember the less you spend on petrol the better it is.

10. Do not buy any petrol.

Print this article – Spread it around – Glue it to your forehead – Stick it under car windscreen wipers – Do not buy any more petrol!

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner

12 COMMENTS

  1. WAKE THE F@%$ UP WAKE UP U BRAINWASHED SHEEPLE WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ARE U ALL DEAD? WAKE UP WAKE UP U BASTARDS!!!!!!!

  2. It’s true, I live in the UK for 3 whole years and I never saw so many brainwashed fucks in one place. They take it up the ASS every day and still say ‘Yes sir, please sir’ hahahah It’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen, that’s not including all the other taxes they have to pay, rip off Britain where everything is marked up by about 200%. They’re cowards the lot of them, if it was any other country there would be riots and wars in the streets, these British people they keep their ‘stiff upper lip’ while they drink their poisoned water everyday.

  3. Actually to all the silly Americans who come on here and gloat, one day you too will be paying our prices, so rest assured your time will come very soon. Your darling president Obama will make sure of that.

  4. You brits are the most brainwashed fucks in the universe. can’t u see for 1 second that ur being screwed?

    i’m ashamed that some of my ancestors were British and i have to say i don’t tell anyone one cuz don’t want to be seen as a loser.

    what do u guys do on ur stupid islana part from get f*@$ed by ur government?

  5. I can’t believe the English just sit back and let these things happen to them? What are they a bunch of cowards?

    HAVE SOME MORE TEA! HA HA HA HA HA

    WTF!

  6. Let the limeys pay incredible sums for their gas..we’ve got it so good here it makes me smile reading stories about how they have to pay through the ass to get to work. The pilgrims had the right idea all those years ago by leaving that shithole island and sailing to the land of opportunity.

    Have fun dumbies, you ll deserve each other.

  7. @Alan,

    I am fucking doing something, I’m making a suggestion. It’s people that read the suggestion (i.e. you) that actually need to do it.

  8. DS is offering sage advice, but Angry, Disgusted UK Citizen has a valid point. A Fuel Protest would be more effective if it targeted a single oil company. A weekly rotating boycott is the ticket.

  9. Why not try this:

    Pick ONE oil company (Shell, Texaco, etc.) and boycott it. Drive past to the next station. Do this for a week or so.

    THEN: Pick another oil company, do the same for another week or so.

    ABOVE ALL: Make it clear that this will continue until the appalling UK Government reduces the burden on the motorist.

    The powerful oil companies, seeing their profits decrease, will MAYBE use their influence / talk to Peter Mandelson to force a tax reduction.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!