17.7 C
London
Thursday, December 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeLifestyleShopping5 Apps for Every Dedicated Prime Minister

5 Apps for Every Dedicated Prime Minister

ai

With the local elections out of the way and General Election fever gripping the nation, it would be easy to get sucked in and forget that anything else in British politics matters.

Not us. Now more than ever, we think it’s important to bring you the news from
outside GE2017, like, for example, this hard hitting story on the apps our very own
Prime Minister is using to run the country. A good Prime Minister also needs a good
phone provider, and with Asda Mobile’s 30-day SIM-free bundles, you can get the job
done to the best of your ability. Whoever steps through the door of number 10
following the 8th June will need to download the following 5 apps.

1. The Big Red Button
The PM is charged with the safety of the nation, and while one high profile party
leader has said he’ll never press the red button, our PM will need to download the Big
Red Button app anyway. Unleashing Armageddon from your phone is now a reality
with this great free tax payer-funded app.

2. Organise My Cabinet
One of the toughest jobs when forming a government is, well, forming a government.
Every PM has a duty to create an elite team of Cabinet members who will run the
various Government departments. Well, with the Organise My Cabinet app, you don’t
have to. Simply take a photo of those you’d like to feature in your cabinet and the
app will automatically rank and file them for you, pushing each person an automatic
email explaining where they stand.

3. PMQs Take Down Generator
A mark of a successful PM is to what extent they are able to bat away the comments
of the opposition at Prime Minister’s Questions each Wednesday that the House of
Commons is in session. Coming up with your own witty quips takes unnecessary
brainpower, and now, PMs can use this handy Take Down Generator app to help
them win every argument with a simple tap of an app. No thinking required.

4. Rent a Scandal
Need to put out a policy that’s likely to be unpopular? Don’t worry, the Rent a
Scandal app has you covered. Simply put in the time and date of a required scandal,
choose from a list of predetermined, scandalous scenarios and create the perfect
distraction on your policy announcement day. The press will be so distracted by the
scandal that they’ll never pay you a minute’s notice.

5. Signal Blocker
If your phone’s ringing off the hook and you just wish you could ignore it and play the
“I didn’t have any signal” card, this app is for you. Simply load the app and you’ll
remain signal –free until you shut it down. Ignore those pesky phone calls from your
government ministers, the press and indeed your own family thanks to the Signal
Blocker app.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!