17.7 C
London
Thursday, December 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthHelp My New Eco House Just Got Flooded

Help My New Eco House Just Got Flooded

SOMERSET - England - A man who built his own Eco house mourns its loss as it is swept away in the floods.

ai

If there ever was proof of global warming this is it. I built my Eco house last June to much praise from my Eco chums only to see it washed away this morning in a biblical flood that would make a Christian devotee nod his/her head in confirmation of the fictional Noah story.

You see, here we are in little old Blighty doing all those little Eco things to save the environment but we’re not thinking globally. What use is any Eco drive on this tiny island when you have countries like China and the USA pumping out tonnes of pollutants into the atmosphere daily? Do we not realise that those pollutants travel around the globe’s atmosphere?

Here’s a small thought, 1.6 billion Chinese people want to drive SUVs, they need all the mod cons, add in the Americans with their SUVs and lest we forget the Russians. How about the billions of factory farms, and the millions of factories churning out tonnes of heavy chemicals high up into the atmosphere on a daily basis? Last I looked America uses up 60% of the earth’s resources, now that’s one country! Please excuse me but shouldn’t America be classified as a world parasite, its greed is disproportionate to its benefit?

So all you Eco heads in the UK, you may think you’re doing something right, but the chemicals and carcinogens are pushed high into the atmosphere where they travel around the earth and slowly blanket the surface with poisonous malevolence. The pesticides, the steroids, the bisphenol A, the heavy metals you all ingest daily, you cannot see unless you are medically analysed. It’s in the air you breathe, it’s in the water you drink, it’s in a health conscious mother’s womb, and further more, no Eco drive in the UK will make a blind bit of difference because the factories and traffic are still churning out the stuff globally, even if the UK stops. Unless you have access to the latest chelation equipment that our masters use, and they’re exclusive food and water supply, it’s futile. By all means try and eat healthily while the skies are being sprayed daily, at least your outward appearance will please you, but if the polar bears are contaminated in the Antarctic what chance do you have?

Here I sit in a flood, my Eco house has washed away, and I look up to the atmosphere as more poisons created by industrial greed and overpopulation rain down on my head.

Ah, I just saw Harry and William on a day out, I feel much better now, help is finally at hand.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!