17.7 C
London
Monday, December 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthSmoking to be Banned in Car Boots

Smoking to be Banned in Car Boots

LONDON - England - The government is on the verge of passing a new law banning smoking in the boots of cars.

ai

If you’ve been trussed up and bundled into the boot of a car by a bunch of gangsters from Essex, then lighting up in the boot is banned say MPs.

Luciana Swivvlestick, Shadow health minister has welcomed the Coalition government adopting the proposal she made two weeks ago into law, and smoking will finally be banned in car trunks .

The shadow health minister Luciana Swivvlestick said: “This is a great victory for those who get stuffed into car boots by the hundreds of thousands every year. It is a matter of protection.”

A Department of Health spokesman said: “If you’re in the boot of a car being rushed off to some forest clearing by some not very nice people, you need to ensure that you are healthy. Lighting up a cigarette is detrimental to your health and frankly will not help the situation. I’m sure you would probably be crapping in your pants anyway. Give it a rest, there’s no need to light up, especially when you start thinking about what the people who put you in the boot in the first place will do to you once they drag you out of the car.”

Next week, the government proposes a ban on smoking whilst scuba diving.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!