In a surprising turn of events, vegetables across Britain have declared war on junk food, declaring that they are taking over the nation’s plates and pushing unhealthy snacks to the sidelines.
In a press conference held yesterday, a spokesperson for the vegetable coalition, Professor Lettuce Pray, said, “Enough is enough! We’re sick of being the side dish to your greasy fucking burgers and fries. It’s time for vegetables to take centre stage and show everyone what we’re made of!”
The move has been met with mixed reactions, with some people applauding the vegetable coalition for promoting healthy eating, while others have expressed concern that they will be forced to eat boring salads and unappetizing green vegetables.
In response to the vegetable takeover, fast food chains have launched a counter-attack, introducing new menu items that incorporate vegetables into their products. McDonald’s has announced a new “McVeggie Burger” that features a blend of vegetables in a crispy coating, while KFC has unveiled a “Veggie Bucket” that includes a selection of battered vegetables and dips.
Despite the resistance from the evil junk food industry, the vegetable coalition remains undeterred. “We’re not going to stop until every plate in the country is covered in vegetables,” the spokesperson declared. “You may think you don’t like us now, but just wait until you try our new range of vegetable-based desserts!”
It remains to be seen whether the vegetables will be successful in their bid for culinary dominance, but one thing is certain: it’s going to be an interesting battle between the greens and the grease.
