Health

Obese Giraffes Causing Trouble in Africa

SERENGETI - Tanzania - Obese giraffes in the Serengeti National Park have been put on slimming diets by park rangers local Tanzanian news services are reporting.

“These giraffes are not only a danger to other animals and humans but themselves as well. We had one obese giraffe sit down and accidentally crush a sleeping pride of lions, and one obese giraffe mother nearly squashed her new born baby. We have put them on special diet shakes so they can lose some of their weight,” park ranger, Blik Rosenthall, told the Serengeti Gazette.

The myriad of problems created by obese giraffes are a cause for concern for park staff, who believe that safari goers are the ones fuelling the fatty giraffes.

Another park ranger revealed: “We get these mainly American safari visitors giving them Twinkies and hamburgers. We try to tell them to stop but it is very hard to regulate. It’s not just what they eat in one end, but what comes out the other end is usually bigger than an elephant poo.”

In total there are approximately 43 obese giraffes now ambling slowly around the protected safari park, and vets are determined to bring the number of fatties down.

Chief veterinarian, Dr. Janice Bartends, who has adopted the obesity fight says: “We need to get them back to eating twigs and leaves. Some of our giraffes now weigh over 850 lbs, that’s close to half a tonne. We cannot have this going on anymore.”

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

The Public Sacrifice of Trump and the Dawn of a New Age of Women

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The dawn of a new age of women calls for…

21 hours ago

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

21 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

3 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

3 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.