17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthLong Arm of State Now Extends to Celebrity TV Chefs

Long Arm of State Now Extends to Celebrity TV Chefs

LONDON - England - All across the nation people are gathering for a campaign to shut the most annoying TV chef ever, Jamie Oliver, up for good.

“Why doesn’t he just go back to his bijoux restaurant cafe and get his fat slobbering tongue over one of his two minute meals? Why does that annoying blubber tongued rich c*nt have to bother us with his useless advice to poor people? Has he ever been poor? You smarmy shister, go back to Hoxton,” a man from Walthamstow told the BBC, before being kicked off air.

The condescending nature of Jamie Oliver, with his multi-million pound franchise restaurant business has angered so much of Britain’s population that many are planning on using his likeness as a Bonfire night Guy, but there could be a better form of revenge. Stop buying his expensive supermarket products. Consign him to the dustbin of mediocre TV chefs by not eating his overpriced junk food, don’t buy his books.

“I wish the f*cker would drop dead. How about he tries to live on a pittance like the rest of the country benefit cheque to benefit cheque in front of a 50″ 3D TV. We don’t have the time to source ingredients from delicatessens and Hampstead specialist food shops, we’re too busy watching the X Factor eating ready-made processed shit. Stick it up your jacksie you ox tongued jelly faced faux cockney arsehole,” one woman said before stuffing her face with a ready made spag bol costing £2.10 from Tesco.

Isn’t it quite ironic that every aisle in every supermarket is stuffed to the rafters with Jamie Oliver products and ready meals with his fat face staring at you from the tins. Stop buying his crass money making junk then you stupid f*cking lemmings and lets see this impudent runt off to the poor house. Stop buying his stuff. Stop buying his stuff. Just stop it will you. STOP BUYING HIS STUFF!

Useful idiots like Jamie Oliver are simply mind controlled mirrors of how the elite perceives the untermenschen and unwashed masses. We are nearing the time when the curtain will be fully drawn back. As for the useful idiots, they will be treated with the same contempt as the masses, because they are just being used. What is a chef anyway? He is simply a cook, a slave in a kitchen to his masters.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!