17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthHook Up Sites Tinder and Grindr Good For Population Control

Hook Up Sites Tinder and Grindr Good For Population Control

LONDON - England - News that there has been a massive spike in syphilis amongst users of Tinder and Grindr is welcome news to many who are seriously concerned with over population.

 

Because syphilis can stay mainly undetected if untreated it can remain latent in the body for years. In the late stages of syphilis, the disease damages the internal organs, including the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels, liver, bones and joints leading to early death.

Antibiotics are increasingly becoming redundant due to overuse and the WHO has warned of a coming cataclysmic disaster where many ailments are untreatable due to resistance.

“These people are spreading STIs around like candy and soon their diseases will not be treatable. It works both ways, deaths from syphilis and gonorrhoea will eventually cull these populations thinning the herd,” a clinical insider revealed.

What about HIV? Unfortunately it has not had the effect in population reduction that was needed. Although it is still prevalent amongst the gay population, it needs to make more in roads into the heterosexual population to become effective in reducing the population numbers.

Since the discovery of HIV/AIDS it has only killed 36 million, considering the global population is 7.5 billion and growing, it’s a drop in the ocean.

We must therefore encourage more sites like Tinder and Grindr, the more the better. These sites peddle death to the stupid, and less stupid people on earth can only be a very good thing.

App developers need to make in roads in creating more hookup apps tailored not only for the developed world but for the third world, especially nations like China and India as well as the African continent, where population growth is beyond unsustainable.

Once STDs like syphilis explode in these regions, which are wholly untreatable, they will continue to spread like wildfire.

The creators of Tinder and Grindr should be commended for their great works, you have fired the starting gun in the race to reduce the global population before it is too late. Promiscuous risky sexual encounters should be encouraged at all junctures to spread STIs.

Finite resources are being permanently depleted daily, and it is only a matter of time before the Malthusian nightmare is upon us. Estimated projections for global population growth are 11.2 billion by 2023 according to the UN.

This cannot be allowed to happen, so please go on Tinder and Grindr now, and do your bit. You can catch chlamydia, genital warts, HIV, syphilis and gonorrhoea, maybe all at the same time.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. Suck on this fukwad

    Syphilis could become impossible to treat after a common strain of the STI becomes resistant to antibiotics

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4024916/Syphilis-impossible-treat-common-strain-STI-resistant-antibiotics.html#ixzz4SigWwQKg

    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4024916/Syphilis-impossible-treat-common-strain-STI-resistant-antibiotics.html

  2. I don’t get why hiv and AIDS has not spread as much? Hopefully these antivirals will become obsolete so that AIDS can finish the job. Catholics are not allowed to wear condoms so why aren’t they dying off? What about new strains of hiv shouldn’t it keep mutating?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!