Processed Meat Report Can Give You Cancer

LONDON - England - A new dangerous report to highlight dangers of bacon, sausages, ham and burgers – and even fresh red meat, may also include the actual reading of the report about processed meat giving you cancer.

Reading a report about processed meat giving you cancer can actually give you cancer a new report from the Daily Mail has reported.

“If you read this report whilst eating a bacon sarnie with oodles of brown sauce dripping down your chin, there’s an even bigger chance you will get cancer,” Dr. Rhanjita Singh who wrote the report revealed.

So, what sort of cancer will you get if you read the report or you eat processed meat?

“Probably cancer of the arse hole. That’s where the processed meat goes and stays, or you could get cancer of the eyeballs, I know it sounds rather gruesome but I’m just reporting from the report I wrote whilst wearing special glasses. It doesn’t matter anyway because everything these days gives you cancer,” Dr. Singh added.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"