Processed Meat Report Can Give You Cancer

LONDON - England - A new dangerous report to highlight dangers of bacon, sausages, ham and burgers – and even fresh red meat, may also include the actual reading of the report about processed meat giving you cancer.

Reading a report about processed meat giving you cancer can actually give you cancer a new report from the Daily Mail has reported.

“If you read this report whilst eating a bacon sarnie with oodles of brown sauce dripping down your chin, there’s an even bigger chance you will get cancer,” Dr. Rhanjita Singh who wrote the report revealed.

So, what sort of cancer will you get if you read the report or you eat processed meat?

“Probably cancer of the arse hole. That’s where the processed meat goes and stays, or you could get cancer of the eyeballs, I know it sounds rather gruesome but I’m just reporting from the report I wrote whilst wearing special glasses. It doesn’t matter anyway because everything these days gives you cancer,” Dr. Singh added.

 

Help Support Independent Publishers

PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

We Review Some of the Thousands of Kurdish Barber Shops on the High Street

CROYDON - England - Many UK cities are full to the brim of Kurdish barber…

1 day ago

If You Can Abort Babies, Why Not Adults?

MARYLAND - USA - A prominent member of the Institute of Population has put forward…

3 days ago

China Handed Everything On Platter For Free For Decades – Now it’s Over!

LONDON - England - Trump is doing the right thing, and he should be commended…

4 days ago

Uninfluencers Are the New Social Media Trend

PALO ALTO - USA - The latest trend across all social media is the proliferation…

5 days ago

Man Buys Toothpick From Temu For $6,842

MINNESOTA - USA - A man inadvertently bought a toothpick from Temu for $6,842 after…

6 days ago

Axis of Evil: Russia Using Iranian Drones, Chinese and N. Korean Troops

KYIV - Ukraine - The Ukrainians have captured Chinese troops fighting for the Axis of…

6 days ago

This website uses cookies.