Man Who Performs Uncontrollable Hitler Salutes Banned From City Centre

LLANDUDNO - Wales - Barry, 49, who performs Hitler salutes constantly has an affliction that dozens of doctors have not been able to cure.

He has uncontrollable urges to perform Hitler salutes approximately every thirty seconds, and has been banned from many places because of his terrible affliction.

The unemployed, and certainly unemployable man, has been diagnosed with Hitleritis, a rare medical condition that raises the right arm straight and salutes intermittently.

“I might be having a cup of tea with the vicar, reach for a scone, and there it goes. My arm salutes in a Nazi fashion and I yell out ‘Heil Hitler’.”

The worst incident occurred in January, when Barry was doing some shopping in Llandudno city centre. He was in Argos when a group of German exchange students walked in.

The chaos that ensued resulted in Barry being forcibly ejected from the store and arrested for his Hitler salutes that accelerated in ferocity when he heard the exchange students talking amongst themselves.

“I heard them talking and it got worse. I started goose stepping and saluting at the same time whilst shouting Heil Hitler. Worst day of my life. They [the police] gave me an ASBO and I can’t go to the shops or anywhere for that matter any more. I am so depressed.”

There is help at hand though for Barry. A pioneering new treatment has been made available where the offending Hitler saluting arm is strapped to the body to stop it jerking up involuntarily.

Although this helped Barry for all of five minutes, his body started to compensate by performing other Nazi traits like goose stepping, shouting Nazi slogans and ordering anyone in the vicinity into the showers.

If anyone has any ideas on how to cure Barry, please leave a comment below.

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