Gwyneth Paltrow: “I Like to Steam My Brussels Sprout”

LOS ANGELES - USA - Hollywood macrobiotic darling, Gwyneth Paltrow, has described in lurid detail how she steams her Brussels sprout every day.

The Gwyneth Paltrow kitchen is a pink temple to clean living and Hollywood celebrity fads. The actress’ many mesmerised followers always want more from her.

Speaking from the Soggy Box cafe in Santa Monica, the actress gave an account to lifestyle show, Flange, how her daily regimen is good for her health and well being: “There’s nothing like steaming. Ya know, I was looking through my warm glove box and was chuffed to find a cute little euphemistic recipe book there about steaming. I’m allowed one Brussels sprout a day so I got home and got my steamer out. A piece of wet lettuce, moist, crunchy right next to it on a plate, it was a paradise slice in a lady garden of dripping pink heaven. There were no badly packed kebabs or greasy meat curtains here stinking up the joint, just good ol’ wholesome steamed snug sprouts. That reminds me, I must have my vagina steam cleaned so it’s nice and tight.”

Next week, Paltrow will discuss how she consciously uncoupled herself from the temptations of a burrito.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

6 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

2 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

2 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.