17.7 C
London
Saturday, November 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthHospitals to Deliver Babies by Drone

Hospitals to Deliver Babies by Drone

BIRMINGHAM - England - Hospitals in Britain could be delivering babies by drone in the New Year, an NHS spokesman has revealed.

Drones are big business as online stores and postal services have been capitalising on their popularity by conducting logistical deliveries in the US and the UK, but what about babies?

Hospitals are now the next drone front line where drones could be replacing storks for that all important delivery moment.

“We’ve already trialled a few deliveries by drone this month and plan to roll out a more intensive service next month,” NHS planner, Rupert Sanders, told the BBC.

How does the drone delivery work, and what’s more, is it safe?

According to a recent consultancy funded by the government, drones are actually safer than midwives because they have less germs and are accurate to the millimetre. When the woman is in labour, the drone will be activated and will hover under the area where it calculates the trajectory of the baby expulsion will be. The specialist drones have a cushioned basket to catch the baby delivery. So far, tests carried out by the scheme have a 95% chance of success when catching the baby as it is being ejected from the mother.

“We can also deliver babies via drone to any address in the UK, of course after the mother has had her initial time with the newborn. Not all parents can take their babies home with cars and some live in rural secluded areas of the country,” Mr. Sanders revealed.

The NHS could save over £380 million per annum when the drone deliveries are rolled out in January 2015.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

7 COMMENTS

  1. Are they insane?? babies deliver from drone?
    This is highly dangerous and moreover this is heigth of lazyness ..

  2. Utterly insane idea but these days I’m not surprised by anything. I’m surprised the Daily Mail does not have this on the front page.

    • It’s called innovation dear. Maybe you should look what that means in a dictionary some time.

  3. I would like to know what kind of safety harness they will use in the drones doesn’t the basket have protection from the elements? What kind of parent would allow their baby to be lifted off by drones?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!