Increase in Lightsaber Accidents Causing Concern With Jedis

TATOOINE - A galaxy far, far away - The force may be with you, but if you're holding one of those new fangled lightsabers, you could chop off your own hand in a fight.

“These new lightsabers are really dangerous, not just for my opponents but for myself, I nearly chopped off my own hand,” Luke Skycrawler, told the Rebel Times.

The latest regulation lightsabers have resulted in mass injuries amongst Jedi knights across the galaxy and some purist Jedis are now harking back to the old ways.

Pass Windu, a Jedi from Tatooine, has been rummaging the robot scrap yards across the planet to find an old lightsaber, as the new regulation lightsabers nearly cost him an arm in a bar fight.

“I eventually found one, some guy named Watto, he sold me one for an arm and a leg. Give me an original lightsaber any day, even if that weird little cockroach with wings sold it to me at a massive mark up.”

 

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE, AND CENSORSHIP WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: hollywood

Recent Posts

Far Leftists Celebrate as Their Enabled Terrorists Massacre More Jews

BONDI - Australia - The latest massacre killing 16 Jewish civilians by a terror call,…

20 hours ago

‘Open Borders’ Green Party Leader Wants More Diversity in Cottaging Industry

HACKNEY - England - The 'open borders' Green Party leader is fed up with the…

2 days ago

The Daily Squib Sold Out!

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib Anthology has sold out!

2 days ago

“Comrades! It’s Working! Heavy Taxation Contracted the Economy by 0.1%”

LONDON - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves has praised her heavy taxation policies, which have…

4 days ago

Prepare For War With Russia While EU Funds Russia by Buying Their Oil and Gas

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Mark Rutte, the NATO chief, said today that Europe must prepare…

4 days ago

Stop Crying Brexit Never Happened Anyway

LONDON - England - People are crying that Labour are cosying up to the EU…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.