TATOOINE - A galaxy far, far away - The force may be with you, but if you're holding one of those new fangled lightsabers, you could chop off your own hand in a fight.
“These new lightsabers are really dangerous, not just for my opponents but for myself, I nearly chopped off my own hand,” Luke Skycrawler, told the Rebel Times.
The latest regulation lightsabers have resulted in mass injuries amongst Jedi knights across the galaxy and some purist Jedis are now harking back to the old ways.
Pass Windu, a Jedi from Tatooine, has been rummaging the robot scrap yards across the planet to find an old lightsaber, as the new regulation lightsabers nearly cost him an arm in a bar fight.
“I eventually found one, some guy named Watto, he sold me one for an arm and a leg. Give me an original lightsaber any day, even if that weird little cockroach with wings sold it to me at a massive mark up.”
MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…
LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…
TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…
HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…
LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…
GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…
This website uses cookies.