One Direction Zayn Malik Issues Fatwa on Israel

LONDON - England - Pakistani pop auto-tuner Zayn Malik has put a fatwa on all Israeli fans of Simon Cowell creation, One Direction.

 

“I issue this fatwa on Israel and all One Direction fans living in that occupied territory be levelled to the ground, innit,” the pop star told MTV on Tuesday.

Not Kosher

Zayn Malik, who is a devout Muslim — although he smokes dope and eats infidel meat — is unrepentant with issuing the fatwa and has vowed to use his position of power in the pathetic manufactured boy band to create an intifada on all Israelis.

The Israeli Defence Force (IDF) are on full alert and have ordered all copies of terrorist group One Direction to be burned, incinerated, and obliterated.

Meanwhile in his lair, pop polluter, Simon Cowell is in despair: “Oy vey, it vas only last week I donated to the IDF, and now zis? My shekels, my shekels!”

Help Support Independent Publishers

PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

If You Can’t Speak or Read English in Arkansas You’re in Big Trouble

ARKANSAS - USA - A new initiative has begun in the state where if a…

5 hours ago

Give France Back the Statue of Liberty Demands French EU Politician

BRUSSELS - Belgium - A French member of the European Parliament is demanding the return…

8 hours ago

Market Fear Over Yet? More Squeaky Bum Time or Time to Buy the Dip?

WALL STREET - USA - Is the market correction over? How far will the markets…

18 hours ago

“When yo kids hungry jus’ take ’em to da sto!”

ATLANTA - USA - We're getting some sage advice from denizens of the African American…

3 days ago

Celebrity Couple ‘ARE dating’ and ‘have been together for ‘over a year’

HOLLYWOOD - USA - A celebrity couple are dating and have been together for over…

3 days ago

Commissar Reeves Announces Great News About the Shrinking UK Economy

SCUNTHORPE - England - The shrinking UK economy thanks to Commissar Reeves is now lower…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.