You Didn’t Just Take a ‘Hatie’ Did You?

LOS ANGELES - USA - Forget the narcissistic 'selfie' craze, the latest fad is the 'hatie'.

What happens when millions of people around the world are all pushed to revel in a narcissistic craze called ‘selfies’ through a collective social networking thought control mechanism? Well, we get the antithesis of the selfie and that’s the hatie.

“The hatie is a new phenomenon sweeping the world, wherein the user does not constantly take selfies and share them around through social networks. It is quite the opposite. The hatie is when you go to Facebook, Instagram and all other thought control programming surveillance booths and delete your account. You then have to put your smartphone down, ideally crushing it with a sledgehammer,” Fred Lombard, one of the creators of the hatie told Tech Moon magazine.

As opposed to the shallow narcissism of the selfie, the hatie is in fact an expression of dignity, intelligence and control from mass brainwashing. The hatie is a very positive reaction to the negative nature of the selfie.

There are withdrawal symptoms to denying yourself of selfie photos every five minutes. Please be prepared, for uncontrollable shaking, which will last throughout a post-selfie abstinence period, drooling at the mouth and the eyes rolling back in the sockets whilst your arms are outstretched gasping for the iphone.

If withdrawal symptoms worsen, please consult your physician who will probably give you a smartphone for a few controlled minutes.

People can be cured of the ‘selfie’ but it takes a lot of hard work over a prolonged period of months if you are one of those who are totally brainwashed.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

1 day ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

1 day ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

2 days ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

2 days ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

2 days ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.