17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentEurovision Contest Results Confirm to Putin Why Europe Must be Crushed

Eurovision Contest Results Confirm to Putin Why Europe Must be Crushed

MOSCOW - Russia - After the Eurovision Song Contest panned the Russian singers with boos and caterwauls, Vladimir Putin knows what he has to do.

Vladimir Putin, was watching the results of the Eurovision Song Contest last night and what he saw confirmed his plans to once and for all overrun Europe with even more incursions.

“I saw some beautiful Russian young ladies last night singing songs that were beaten by a pseudo-Bond themed bearded freak composite. This confirms to me that the EU’s homosexual agenda of total ritualistic New World amalgamation is well in place, and it goes against the biological human race as a whole. If this is allowed to continue, we are all doomed. Therefore, to prevent any further bleed and damage I have prepared a multi-tiered incursion into Belarus, Estonia, Latvia, Finland, Sweden, Lithuania, Moldova, and we will take all of Ukraine of course. We will be on Norway and Germany’s doorstep in no time, as the minor countries are nothing but a distraction. My two Russian beauties, how could the EU troglodytes boo against such beauties, their song full of love, and what man could refuse the beckoning call as they kneel before you with their pert open mouths singing sweet lullabies?”

Russian Troops

The Eurovision Song Contest was another egg on Vladimir Putin’s face but he will have the last laugh, prepare for war.

Someone was overheard saying in the background, “Hang on Vlad it’s only a stupid euro song comp” before a gunshot sounded.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!